I lived in a triple dorm my freshman year of college. We three girls got along great before "Marnie"'s true colors started to show...
Marnie was a slob. Dirty, sweaty laundry was a foot deep on the floor. Worse, Marnie left half-eaten, smelly meals in odd corners of the room for days, and there was rotting shit in every fucking crevice of that desk. (I'll never forget the day my new friend wouldn't come into our room because of a strange stench... Later I found Chinese takeout stuffed BEHIND the refrigerator.)
One day, our other roommate, quiet, sweet "Rina," was showing off her newly purchased winter boots when Marnie starts taking silly pictures. So Rina drops the boots and we giggle and start to bond. Marnie giggles too hard and runs around the room, shrieking, "I'm going to pee!" And when the flood gates fell? She hit Rina's boots. She peed on and into Rina's new boots. And kept laughing. [Rina and I have now lived together harmoniously for three and a half years, and I attribute this solely to our rinsing the piss out of those boots in the bathroom together.]
This story is hard to explain, but here goes. On Halloween night, I brought my boyfriend back to my room. We're naked. No one is expected back for hours. But then Marnie knocks on the door and sounds irritated and I tell her to please wait a second, we'll leave. She doesn't listen, and when I hear the key begin to open the door I rush over to close it. The door gets shoved open over my toe and lo and behold, it's not Marnie, but a dude in a cow costume, who MOOS at my naked body and runs off as I start shrieking. I was drunk, my toenail was ripped up, blood was going everywhere, and my poor boyfriend just had no fucking clue what hit him. Turns out, Marnie gave her key to a guy she'd just met and told him to prank us. And I never found out who that cow was that saw me naked.
The REVENGE.
Marnie was always losing her expensive chapstick (big surprise) and whining about it. So we started hiding it all over the room. If only she cleaned, she would've found it.
After Halloween, I wanted blood. When Marnie was out, we used her window paint to draw a giant, green, gaping, 4 foot tall vagina on her window. Marnie thought it was a flower and slept with her head right below that oozing fucker all goddamn year. Fuck you, Marnie.
At the very end of the year, Rina confessed to me that the line of floor tile that Marnie's dirty shit never seemed to cross (see picture) existed because quiet, sweet Rina was secretly punting Marnie's shit back to "her side" of the room every day when no one else was around. This is, by far, my favorite one.
Submitted January 17, 2015 at 12:03PM by nicebelt http://ift.tt/1xzQTTA pettyrevenge
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