Saliva drips from the skin of my lips Drenching the surface of my bed as I slept so peacefully Under lavender, satin sheets. No one beside me, Just me and my frigid feet.
I used to dream, you know, when I was younger. There were never ending picnics under willowed trees. Ebony grazing the ground. Calluses staining the bottom of my feet, Nature I couldn’t control. The sun would always shine in my favor, at least that’s what I thought. And even in my dreams I couldn’t stomach its gaze. I was too much of a coward to accept it. Insecurity bathing about me. And I fell in it. Attonement tasting like sugar coded snakes; this bleak unknown trust hissing in my heart. Criss-crossing my fate like a red coated cross. Shallowing, My skin only touches the surface. Resilience has been denied as a weapon. I brought my soul to this sacred place to only have it destroyed, Muddled in reality's illusions. Sneaky demons kissing my core Breaking my mind I believed in it, I was protected. Until I found myself in this complex state of the psyche. My soul was too neglected. Save me? How! I can’t even save myself.
I rise to my feet, Wincing from the contact of my freezing feet With the wooden floor, And drag myself to the bathroom, Where I’d cleanse away my miseries. Temporarily. But that was the dread of awakening to Things that you were too accustomed to To appreciate. Like mouthwash That burns your tongue when you leave it in too long.
Like steam fogging up your bathroom mirrors As you indulge in the deepest depths of Falling water. like the light in your refrigerator, like the dirt underneath your fingernails
to remind you of your mistakes. The ones you refuse to learn from. The regrets you have ever embraced. Like your favorite song That keeps on playing on the radio. And you never listened to the lyrics because Your were nodding too hard to the beat And it gave you a headache. But you still listen to it. And it’s okay; you’ll learn to appreciate those things One day. And if not today, tomorrow’s just a last resort Because it never comes.
The shower was great though. I go to get dressed This uniform I greatly dread: a brown face, short, edgy hair, and loose clothing to make me seem smaller Choking my life away. But I wear it. For the sake of …. Well, I don’t know.
It’s 6:30 in the morning, The sky too dark to see. Leaving me in my Own dreaded, confused thoughts Sometimes I don’t even know what to think. All I know is that I’m living in a world Whose mood is implacable, Too powerful to know the essence of My own vibes Secluded from the soul I've given myself.. I can’t help but pray to the God I believe in to help me somehow before tomorrow comes and I can no longer see him.
Submitted January 06, 2015 at 02:28AM by _darkchild http://ift.tt/13U6DcX OCPoetry
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