"I would've thought that corporate would be pleased with my efforts, you know. A lot more than to send some jackboot accountant thug on to my case!"
"Please, Doctor," the accountant sighed as they walked, rubbing his forehead. "You know that the higher-ups have always been pleased with your work, but-"
"But nothing!" The gray-haired man angrily raised a finger, his ugly teeth beaming in a grimace. "I'm quite close to perfecting my new pork rind recipe, and it'll be nothing short of a masterpiece! It'll be the crown jewel of Interstice Snack-foods' line of pork products!"
"I understand that, sir, but it's just... your department is quite a bit over budget, you see..."
They entered the labs, and the doctor scoffed as they walked by tables of test tubes and beakers, past a line of refrigerators, and stopped before a few tanks of bubbling amber liquid.
"This work is years in development, you brain-dead bean-counter!" The doctor proclaimed. "You see, the usual pork rind is made of simple rolled pellets of pork skin. Simple enough, yes, but I've found that, by strategically adding parts of the pig offal- not just the skin- flavor contribution is through the roof: the finished product is savory beyond compare!"
"Indeed," the accountant nodded. "I can understand that much. You've gone through a whole farm's worth of pigs, cobbling together your recipe. That was expensive enough. But these new costs, you see-"
The doctor waved a hand dismissively:
"A one-time expense, just to put together a temporary workaround while I wait for you idiots to fetch me the proper number of pig test subjects!"
The doctor handed a small plastic bag to the accountant; inside were a few crispy rinds.
"Try it," he demanded. "You'll see the value, I'm sure!"
The accountant munched on a few of the rinds, his face rather pleased. He spoke through a mouthful of the stuff:
"Doctor, I must ask: what, exactly, is this 'temporary expense' you needed to make?"
The doctor shook his head, sighing dramatically, and absently flicked a switch. The tank of amber liquid before them lit up, and through the bubbles a few shapes stood out in the brine:
"Well, if I couldn't get enough offal from your farms, I had to figure out some way to make enough, didn't I?"
The accountant blinked, absently spilling a few chip crumbs from his open lips.
"Y-you... grew the offal you needed. In tanks?"
"Well, I had to grow it somewhere, didn't I? Yes!"
The accountant looked at the tank, and then down at the bag of rinds in his hands. When he looked back up at the tanks his face beamed:
"Doctor, do you know what, exactly, this means?"
"What?" The doctor growled.
The accountant bobbled the rinds in his hands, smiling:
"I think Interstice Snack-foods has their new top-seller, right here!"
Submitted December 06, 2014 at 05:38AM by QuinineGlow http://ift.tt/1AxuxpL QuinineGlow
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