How do I [23F] tell my stepfather [58M] that he's being really inconsiderate about his flu days before Christmas? relationships

My step-father is downstairs as we speak, coughing and dry heaving all over everything.

He doesn't take care of himself. Bad habits, staying up to all hours of the night. He's a fucking disaster. He also hates me, for... not being perfectly agreeable to him all the time. Most of the time we do not get along.

I was finishing decorating cookies for my mother last night and it was edging close to 2:30 AM. He comes upstairs from our basement, where he is apparently staying because "he is very sick again."

He got shingles recently, so he had recently just went through the initial viral reaction that accompanies that.

I understand that that sucks. Like, really sucks. Shingles hurts and is no party. And when that went down, my family really encouraged him to relax and take care of himself.

It's not like he has a ton of stress on his plate anyway - the guy hasn't worked in close to 10 years out of sheer laziness.

So now, it appears he's sick. I'm afraid it's the nasty flu that's going around.

At 2 AM he's roaming around, going through bags of GROCERIES that I just fucking bought. I ask him what he needs, make him a cup of tea.

I notice he is open-mouth coughing all over everything.

I get him a garbage can, a box of tissues and hand-sanitizer. I ask him to please either cough into his elbow or the tissue and to sanitize regularly.

He just teases me for being a "silly nursing student."

We have a lot of people coming over in TWO DAYS. My mother is older than him at 65 and has a lot of work to prepare in that time, and her age makes her way more susceptible to getting this bug.

He's been downstairs all morning. Coughing all over the kitchen, the family room, the refrigerator, the remotes, door handles, food, the bathroom. He's sat on every surface in the house. In stead of asking for help (which I've offered 5+ times) he insists on doing everything himself.

I've been following him around trying to disinfect stuff but it's useless essentially. And even though it's obvious that I'm very bothered by this behavior, he literally turned around to say something to me and coughed open-mouthed like two feet in my direction.

I know theres a chance you'll get sick naturally from a family member being around the house. But my mother and myself always pretty much quarantine ourselves if we have a real illness.

How do I tell him he's being an inconsiderate asshole? I mean, I want to say it more nicely than that, but I'm prepared for the reaction that I don't understand his pain.

He's always on my case for being "selfish" (un-fucking-founded accusations btw) and I want to make it clear that behavior like this is the exact opposite of what he preaches.

Please, help. I'm going nuts just retreating to my room all day.

TL;DR: My step-dad seems to have a flu-like illness, openly refuses to use safe practices for handling stuff around the house and coughs all over everything. How do I tell him this is not acceptable in a respectful way?

Submitted December 24, 2014 at 01:56AM by complaing http://ift.tt/1CxcWSS relationships