I'm asking did anyone else get this treatment but I know 100% that I cannot be alone in this. I think it's common with Narcs, how they can't accept that they're wrong or admit defeat, so they blame the defenceless for their mistakes. On the other hand, they want all the attention and praise, and will often claim their children’s successes as theirs. Some examples of things my Nstepmother would do that fall into these categories of shitty parenting:
Items she had lost, despite being completely her responsibility and 'adult' items (such as credit cards, bills, personal paperwork handled only by her and my father) were somehow lost by me or my siblings. It was up to us to find them. We spent days, literally, searching for things that belonged to her because it was somehow our fault, breaking only for sleep and food.
When my little brothers were born, it was our fault when they were hurt, sick, fed/changed incorrectly. So many times I pointed out that it is NOT the responsibility of myself (between 10-14 years old) to do the day to day caring for her children, and if they had nappy rash or were crying, it was HER responsibility, not ours. Of course, we love our brothers and were happy to help, but I sure as hell was not supposed to get up in the night to feed them before school, care for them (including feeding and changing) up until the moment I left for school then resume full time care when I got home (bathing, feeding, changing then putting to sleep.) Nor was it my fault if I were reading a book or outside and they tripped when learning to walk. You are the mother, it is up to YOU.
I’m not claiming to be some kind of genius, and we all know the moron-level of logic N’s can display sometimes, but sometimes when we had issues with things, I was able to come up with clear and successful solutions. Even for little things like how to fit furniture in a room or complete some daily tasks within time/travel constraints, I would come up with a simple solution that cut through the issue. Of course, I would often hear my Nstepmother telling friends and family stories along the lines of ‘Oh we just couldn’t figure out how to hang this picture in the lounge room, so I thought what if we blah blah blah and wouldn’t you know, it worked perfectly!’ I would chime in occasionally but of course I was told to shut up and stop trying to interrupt the adults. Meanwhile Nstepmother would continue trying to reap in praise.
One time, I wrote a poem that was given an honourable mention in a local poetry competition (including a certificate) and I caught one of my step sisters, who are full blown Narcs in their own right but at the time just had Fleas, trying to pass it off as her own a few weeks later. In a blindingly ignorant use of Nstupidity, she wrote it up and gave it to my Nstepmother for praise, who went on and on about it at that night dinner and put it on the refrigerator. When I pointed out that it was my poem, for which the certificate was on the same part of the refrigerator, I was told to shut up and stop trying to upset my step sister. Apparently I was being spiteful, for being upset over the poem I had worked hard on being stolen. Hmmm.
Just some examples (that I can still remember, damn repression of childhood awfulness) of the bizzarre was my N's tried to take power away and gaslight me and my siblings into thinking we were forgetful, neglectful morons. Any one else have similar stories?
Submitted December 15, 2014 at 12:05PM by VivatRegina http://ift.tt/1qQ8wSG raisedbynarcissists
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