Q: Is Spooky Fridge something you buy?
A: No. Spooky Fridge is more than that. It's a symbol of justice. Spooky justice. Think cowboy ghosts.
Q: How do I obtain a Spooky Fridge?
A: Simply buy a blacklight bulb from Amazon or your local blacklight bulb supplier. Next, fuck that normal lightbulb that's in there now and bring your fridge into the future.
Q: That's all?
A: Well, not quite.
Q: You lying skank!
A: That is not a question. That is an answer to a question that was never posed, and it was the wrong answer. Also, I'm a dude.
Q: I'm sorry. Back on track, what do you mean by "not quite"?
A: Spooky Fridge is endlessly customizable. I taped a couple plastic bugs all over the inside of mine. If I had dry ice, I'd put that in there, too. Also, I'd take the electronics out of a record-your-own-greeting card and make it so the X-Files theme plays whenever you open the fridge.
Q: Oh, neat! Are there any plans to monetize this idea?
A: Not right now, no. I was thinking about maybe buying a bunch of blacklight bulbs and re-selling them with a slight price increase. But that's more about raising awareness than turning a huge profit.
Q: Oh, sure, that's how it starts.
A: How do you mean?
Q: You start by "raising awareness", then you sell out your message until some jar-headed knuckle-dragger sweeps you off your feet, you pump out a few kids, and die. You fucking women are all the same!
A: DUDE, I've explained this already: I'm a guy! Also, that shit is not cool! You're looking to get banned! You have some serious issues that you need to work out, man.
Q: I'm a woman.
A: My, this has taken a turn.
Q: Yes, indeed. You see, I was once a man (a fireman, in fact), but I became trapped in a refrigerator. For millennia I wandered the icy wastes. At last, I found an ancient lamp of some sort, perhaps left by some long-forgotten civilization. The spirit which issued from the lamp granted me my freedom, but at a price: I would wander the Earth not as a man, but as a shade, merely a fantasm.
A: So, you're a refrigerator ghost? You're the perfect spokesman! Er, spokeswoman... Spokesspook? Spookswoman?
Q: After I was freed, I discovered I was no longer bound to earthly things like walls or gender identity. My name was once Fire, then Ice, but now, it is Spookswoman.
A: Well, that's something...
Q: ...
A: ...
Q: ...Do you wanna make out?
A: You had me at "fantasm".
Submitted October 06, 2014 at 07:37AM by Doctor_Superbatman http://ift.tt/1uqYwP1 SpookyFridge
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