It was 11 am on a Wednesday, the day before my brother’s birthday. My brother was obsessed with Coca-Cola, he actually had even written two research papers on Coco-Cola during his school days, so it was pretty serious. I thought it might be nice if I could pick up one of those “Share a Coke” pop bottles with his name on it. I wanted it as a throw in to go with the present I got him. I went to the store on a whim to try and find one. At the end of one of the cashier lanes there was a giant rack of “Share a Coke” bottles, so naturally I was looking at every single one to check to see if I could find my brother’s name. About five minutes had passed and I still hadn’t, had any luck finding a “Share a Coke with Kevin” nope there was about five Edgar’s, but no Kevin. All of a sudden the cashier at the end of aisle starts yelling at me that I am holding up the line. I turn around and not a single person is in line. It is still around 11 am on a Wednesday it’s as slow as ever with only three other people in the entire store not even in line. I decide to bite my tongue and get some distance from the crazy cashier.
I spot a mini fridge at the end of a checkout lane three lanes down. I continue my search scoffing at the obscure names listed, but no Kevin cokes. I have given up searching the regulars and I am now looking through every one of the diet cokes in the mini fridge. By this time literally every other person is in line all at once as if they planned it. By everyone else I mean the overwhelming number of three people all at the crazy cashier’s lane. Instead of checking out her customers she finds her time would be better spent spoiling my quest to find my brother’s name on a Coca-Cola bottle. She abandons her three people in line walks over to me with her hands on her hips and screams at me for letting the cold out of her refrigerator. At this point I am pissed. I say nothing. I do not report her to a manager. No, that would teach her nothing. She is the type that seems like people would complain about her a lot, yet she is somehow employed. Instead I plot my revenge.
Oh, she messed with the wrong person. It was my day off! I had all the time in the world to play games. I had a friend who used to work at this store. She always complained about when she was on the register and people would get to the front and not want what they grabbed. This would mean the cashier would have to put away at the end of the night or try and find times when it was slow. I used this to my advantage. I grabbed two grocery carts and grabbed fifty items from the store. I spent time pondering which items would be the most annoying to put back. I was grabbing ice cream that would probably melt I even pondered putting a small children’s bike in one of my carts. After I was satisfied with all my items I went to the front. It was now noon and there was two lanes open now. I made sure I got in the crazy bitch’s lane. I get to the front have her ring up my items and then it’s time to pay. I make a huge show about how I can’t find my wallet. I’m patting my sides like I’m searching. I keep apologizing and proclaim I have never done this before. I then tell her I think I left it at home and I am so embarrassed, but I can’t purchase my items and asked her to put them back for me. I then walk out of the store leaving her with a stack of fifty items to restock thinking no one out bitches me.
Now, I am not done. I walk right back in the store only five minutes after leaving buy a candy bar and check out at the lane right across from my new enemy. I pull my wallet out dramatically and make sure I make eye contact and let her know that no, I did not forget my wallet and yes, I am screwing you over. Now, she must have complained about me while I was gone for five minutes because my new cashier is cracking up at the sight of me. He is telling me that it was the best thing ever. Said I should receive a medal for that one. I explained the Coca-Cola incident because he wasn’t there at the time yet and he said she is rude all time. I made him promise he would not help her put those items back and he laughed and said he wouldn’t. I left the store for good and realized that for the first time I was THAT customer. No shame.
Submitted October 06, 2014 at 03:22AM by davidmhoward94 http://ift.tt/10CCP3z pettyrevenge
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