Edad is elderly and has a hair-trigger temper. He's always been very violent. The last time he went somewhere with me he assaulted me in a blind rage since we were running a few minutes late (college orientation, it wasn't mandatory or important.) He probably has a big case of FLEAS, but he's just physically and emotionally abusive and not socially manipulative/cunning so I am hesitant to say he is a narcissist.
He's tried to hurt me multiple times as a teen and young adult (physical assault) and judging by my behavior as a child and various comments by therapists (child and adult) there was more than likely a lot of violence and abuse going on at home before I can actually remember. Anything mundane can set him off. Few minutes late to the store. It's raining. Someone used the wrong tone with him. One time he pulled a knife on a guy because he stole his lunch from the work refrigerator.
My brother and I have "solved" this issue by just letting him be, and we back off. He just sits at home and sometimes gardens, doing repairs on his house. He always has acted like a small child and he doesn't listen to anybody. In his old age he refuses to listen to doctors because "they're stupid or [insert "wrong" race here] so they're dumb" and I'm pretty sure that's going to kill him, but there's nothing my brother and I can do at this point.
My brother lets him watch his sons (10 and 6) for a few hours after school, and Edad is a much better grandfather than he was as a father. We're both stumped by it. I still wouldn't let him watch my kids unsupervised and I live quite far away so it's a non-issue. I'm currently in my second trimester and either LC or NC with my Nfamily.
I've had a very rough pregnancy and I'm high-risk with two prior losses. Our lease is up about three months after the baby is due and one of my in-laws has offered to let us take over the mortgage on this one house he bought in town. Now, I'm not sure it's a good deal because I lived there with my husband and roommates previously and there's some damage. It was used to house the young boys in the family instead of having them take out loans for room and board at the college. Lots of drinking went on. The house wasn't kept well. I know that there is mold and damage under the flooring. The roof needs redone, so does the driveway. There's only two bedrooms, etc.
However, if he can give us a great deal on it.... it might actually be worth it since the housing in this town is quite expensive and I can always add on or make repairs. We also can't afford renting anymore since the cost is something like $900-1000 per month for a 2 bedroom apartment.
Repairing houses and flipping them is Edad's hobby and he's very good at it. You can see where I'm going. I'd like him to go look around the house and make a judgement call... but if he gets angry, I'm scared he'll hurt me and I'll lose the baby. I also can't hire anyone with better knowledge than my husband and I to scope the place out for me due to the cost.
I'm also very sick (severe morning sickness/HG) with a metabolic disorder. Doing laundry or even feeding myself is sometimes impossible. I'm set to get some pills for the nausea and hopefully it helps, if not I think I'll have to be hospitalized. My husband is working full-time, and normally he helps out but I can't do anything at home and he's getting frustrated. Usually, in such a situation the baby's grandmother helps out and cooks or does whatever. My son or daughter's grandmothers are either drug addicts or they have cluster B personality disorders. I know that if my mother tried to cook for me, she would try to poison us like she did to me in childhood (I have strict dietary restrictions.) Hence the LC/NC situation.
My husband has very kind aunts that could possibly help out, but I won't know if everything is okay with the baby until around 20 weeks, so I don't want to make an announcement. I also don't want to worry them with my health and they speak broken english so it's rough communicating some things with them.
My peers always have had their parents to fall back on, and I can't even have my family around... period. It's so frustrating sometimes. My old friends from school have had their parents bail them out of jail, hire lawyers to get them out of constant legal trouble, and bought them a house to live in when they got pregnant from a one night stand. All I ever asked my parents was "please don't hurt me."
Submitted September 22, 2014 at 03:05AM by _eighty2 http://ift.tt/XHYnJU raisedbynarcissists
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