Tuesday, December 19, 2017

I absolutely LOVE to count things! Won't you join me? nosleep

Hi! My name is – actually, who cares what my name is! Not me! Anyway, how are you!? My name is – whoops, duh! I already said that! But, like I said, how are you!

I’m about to be settled in the middle of nowhere, peacefully and with quiet because… I have a fabulous friend who happens to be very wealthy and loves the outdoors – and especially so in the winter – because he loves everything you can’t do in big cities or even the suburbs sometimes during the winter time. He adores hiking, skiing, ice fishing, slay riding, hunting; heck, the dang guy even loves making snow angels!

So, because of his strong winter hobbies and desire to enjoy doing them with just his family, my old buddy old pal bought a giant piece of land way up north in Alaska with 6 – yes, SIX, as in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 – cabins! And they’re HUGE! I’m talking big house huge! The gosh darn guy could move his entire extended family up there to live! And that’s why he bought 6 cabins: he has 96 family members whom he regularly (during the winter, that is) brings up to this land to stay for sometimes 2 weeks straight. The dang guy is a superstar!

OK, OK, why in the heck am I telling you all of this?! Because my good old buddy gave me, and only me (I’m a bit of a loner, like to do things by myself) the keys to all 6 cabins! That’s right, I and only I can get in! Let me give you the layout of the land!

Way up north is an almost perfectly circular sump that goes way down below sea level – and it’s a big sump, in diameter and circumference, to say the least. All 6 cabins are down in this sump and they’re all just about right next to each other, separated evenly. 3 of the cabins point directly southwest and the other 3 point directly northeast. Each cabin is no more than 25 or so feet from its adjacent cabins. My friend normally fills all 6 up but right now, and for the next entire WEEK straight, all 6 are mine! I may have to name myself mayor of Cabinhood! Haha!

Anytickle, the entire sump is completely surrounded by a giant hill, almost a mountain it’s so tall. It looks like a cylindrical hole was cut out of the middle of a mountain down to its base with a slide incline going up so you are able to walk out. So to get to these cabins you have to walk all the way up to the top of this hill and then all the way back down to the center and there you have your cabin-filled circular sump. It’s absolutely ideal for getting some peace and quiet – some real shut eye – some quality alone time – some time away from time! I honestly don’t know what I’ll be doing the entire time I’m here, but there is one thing I can tell you…

The biggest reason I came here is to COUNT! That is right! My biggest hobby, my most beloved pastime, is counting. I’ll count anything and everything. I’ll count the cracks in the street, the birds in the sky, the leaves on a tree, the rolls of toilet paper in the local market. And I’ll remember what I counted and the number too! I’ve always been really good at that. My whole life I’ve counted as many things as I can number and label. I always know how many shirts, socks, and underwear are in my drawers. I always know the number of pages of any of the many books I own. When I’m out and about, so long as I’m not being bothered or pressured into directing my attention elsewhere, I’m almost definitely counting everything! And I can count super fast too – I’m talking ten items per second! You don’t believe me? You’ll see! I’ve been told it might be slightly abnormal, obsessive or what have you, but whatever, labels don’t bother me! But, I often do get lost in it! But that’s all the more reason to love doing it!!

So, like I said, I came out here to Alaska to this peaceful tranquil place belonging to my good old friend to count all day and night, everything I can – rocks, trees, flakes of falling snow if there aren’t too many (and there hardly ever are, because, like I said, I’m a wiz!).

So, let’s get back to the present. I’m currently walking down the hill into the sump and I’m actually almost at the bottom! And guess what! I can see all 6 cabins. Yessiree Bob! 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6. Did you notice how quickly I counted that? Less than half a second, with ease! I’m not sweating, no sir, I’m not! All right, just hang tight for a few minutes! I’m going to get down to the bottom and get a little situated! Be right back!

All right! I’m back and I’m currently in cabin number 1 – this one faces southwest! I’ve got my things packed away, my clothes drawn for tomorrow, and I’m currently working on a snack. Now, listen to this: when I first got in the cabin, I was able to count the trees on the west side, the trees on the north side, and the trees on the east side! There are 29 trees on the west side, 12 trees on the north side (one of which was a tad strange looking!!), and 52 trees on the east side. Now, I’m making a sandwich and and I used 2 pieces of bread (even though there are 14 left in the package), 4 slices of turkey, and 3 squirts of mayonnaise. And while doing so, I noticed there are now only 11 trees! I’ve never miscounted in my life! First time for everything! I’ll have to write that down in my journal!

OK, so, my sandwich is made and I’m ready to have a seat next to this roaring fire I started up only a few minutes ago! Let me just turn the porch light out and I’ll be ready for some peace…

Well! I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! As I was turning the porch light off, I looked out and towards where the path goes up the hill and out and, about 100ft away, I noticed an extra footprint I missed when counting my footsteps into the snow down to the hill. There were 10,241 footprints – or so I thought! Turns out there are 10,242! I love counting, although it’s making a fool of me today, isn’t it?!

You’re going to love this one! For quite some time, there was only one cabin with its lights on, but just a moment ago, and only for a fraction of a second, there were 2 cabins with their lights on! The 6th one, but only for an instant! So I suppose technically I’m still correct – only 1 cabin with its lights on! Simply incredible!

Now, I’m sitting here (and it’s pitch black outside – I LOVE the dark), eating this marvelous sandwich (yes, I make a mean turkey sandwich!), and I’m just counting things around the cabin from where I sit: 2 fireplaces, 6 bar stools, 3 rocking chairs, 4 board games stacked up, 8 steps upstairs, 90 floorboards, 15 candles, 6 magnets on the refrigerator, 1 pack of cigarettes – yikes, give me a sec, I need a breather! Also, I’m looking all the way out to the 5th cabin, through its kitchen window. Very, very fortunately, the moonlight is letting me see just ever so slightly into the 5th cabin’s kitchen. When I first sat down earlier, I was able to quickly count 34 knives on the kitchen rack, but now I count 33! I am a gosh darn fool today! What’s gotten into me!! But hold for just a moment, need to situate myself again…

All right – back, that took an instant longer than I meant! Ah, you’re curious where I went! I’ll admit it – I had to use the facilities! But I’m finished and I definitely washed my hands! In the bathroom were 7 towels, 12 rolls of toilet paper, 3 shower curtains (strange, I know!), 1 faucet and 2 faucet handles of course, 1 closet, a bath with 3 handles, 1 shower drain. A very nice bathroom it is! But now I’m back in the rocking chair on the first floor by the fire. And, get this because it might be my favorite so far: the window all the way to the back used to have 0 face smudges on the outside, but now… it has 1!

I’ll tell ya, this fire is really roaring! Super toasty! I’ve been able to count so peacefully. Like, right now, I count 4 logs in the fire, but I’ve really been concentrated on the fire itself for awhile now and I’ve counted a total of 603 sparks bursting from the flames upward! You really know a healthy fire when you can count that many sparks! I can’t wait to tell my good old buddy how great of a time I’ve had here! Tomorrow I think I’ll go hunting – I can’t wait to count how many animals I see, or how many bullets I shoot, OR! How many missed opportunities I’m the cause of – I always was a bit of a wuss when it came to shooting a shotgun!

Oh, BOY! This is the BEST one yet – so far, the entire night, there’s only been 1 long shadow cast behind me from the fire but all of the sudden, there’s 2. Can you believe th



Submitted December 20, 2017 at 08:38AM by masnaTellsHisStories http://ift.tt/2B4RQOp nosleep

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