1 I do not think we should continue, despite all rational thought telling me I need to stick things out. I cannot deal in the same levels of solitude you thrive in. Perhaps I do not deserve the I the Myers-Briggs assigns me and perhaps the lonely figure I cut doesn't feel as romantic as you appreciate it to, but I need to interact with a world beyond you. The venn intersection of our interests wanes as you insist on highlighting the few points that lie there. My goals slowly misalign from yours as I prove I'm unready for this maturity.
Or maybe it's fear of commitment. That's always been my MO.
2 We consciously pretend to be two other people over hours and hours of communication. It's probably an unhealthy coping mechanism, but I truly want to be more like the person I'm pretending to be. Part of me hopes you're trying to be the person you're masquerading as, or that you're more like him already. That would probably shut up the nagging thought in the back of my brain that I'm coping with my life poorly- effectively using a stranger to live a personality I can't accomplish.
We probably should have picked two characters not in a relationship though, since this is going to turn weirdly sexual and I'm not going to want to cut things short. While pretend is grand, I'm not physically interested in someone of your true identity, biologically assigned or otherwise.
3 It's been four years. Get out of my head.
4 I don't want to screw. I just want someone else to eat the baked goods in my refrigerator. Unbeknownst to you, you've been my connection to the living, breathing world for a year now. The situation has been misinterpreted as expected, but I do enjoy your company if only to remember that I don't live isolated in front of a computer screen.
Or I'm clingy as all hell, one of the two.
5 I'm not invincible to your less than subtle and less than appropriate flirting. I just get off on knowing my lack of charm incites someone twice my age. My fear of dying alone lessens every time you drunkenly say "sorry, that was inappropriate". And it's nice to have an adult in my life I'm not related to for those moments where my washing machine has flooded the laundry room or an outlet isn't working. I'm a millennial, I thrive on instruction, and I like having a real person to panic to over the phone instead of a youtube video.
Your relationship with your spouse (in light of their knowledge of your communication with me), is so strange though.
6 You're a reminder of the romantic life I used to lead. It was nice seeing you. Yes, your dog tags still hang on my lamp. Oh, you still have my scarf. Yes, it's funny how we always find each other in exotic places, wondering how our lives coincided since we talk little and post our whereabouts on social media less. Someone suggested we are the true soulmates, our lives forever grazing against each other. One day we may realizes this and travel as two, instead of one.
We have little in common though, it wouldn't work out.
Submitted February 12, 2017 at 01:09AM by 131311 http://ift.tt/2khXymw UnsentLetters
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