So this guy thinks his wife is cheating on him... [NSFW] Jokes

His name is Dan, and he comes home early from work to catch her in the act. He takes the elevator up to their apartment and puts his ear to the door. Sure enough he can hear his wife making love to another man. Furious, he unlocks the door. As he's turning the key he hears a commotion inside. The sound of his wife and the other man running around and cussing franticly. Dan storms in and shouts "where is he!? I'll kill him!" His wife is crying on the couch as he searches the house.

He finds no-one inside so he goes to the balcony. To his astonishment he sees a man hanging from the balcony. "You son of a bitch!" Dan snarls. He begins stomping on the man's fingers. The man holds on for dear life but soon gives into the pain and let's go. Miraculously he hits some bushes on his way down and survives. Still furious, Dan goes back into the apartment and pushes his refrigerator all the way to the edge of the balcony, and lets it fall on top of the man in the bushes. The man is squished and killed.

After all of this commotion, and the heartache over his wife's betrayal Dan has a heart attack and also dies.

In heaven St. Peter is waiting at the pearly gates. It's getting late so he can only let a few more people into heaven. "Next" he says in a bored tone. Dan comes up to him. "What happened to you" St. Peter asks. Dan tells him everything that led up to his death. His cheating wife, the man on the balcony, and his resulting heart attack. "Wow, sounds like a rough day. You're free to enter heaven. Enjoy your eternity."

"Next" A man comes up to St. Peter. "And what's your story?" St. Peter asks. "Oh god, you won't believe me. I was just watering the plants on my balcony when a gust of wind blew me over the edge. I fell two stories but managed to grab onto the ledge of my neighbor's balcony. Suddenly a man came out and began stomping on my fingers. I let go in agony and was saved by landing in some bushes. Then my maniac neighbor dropped a refrigerator on me." St. Peter raised his eyebrows "holy shit" he said. "Well come on in, you deserve it. Enjoy your eternity."

"Next" Another man came up "What happened to you? You're the last one I'm taking in today. You better make it good." St. Peter said. The man smirked and began "So I was in this refridgerator..."

Submitted December 25, 2016 at 04:12AM by JaytheFarmer http://ift.tt/2ieiECz Jokes