Buy Refrigerator: September 2016

Friday, September 30, 2016

Amazon Underground should be an underground pipe delivery system to your garage/refrigerator CrazyIdeas

No text found

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 11:07AM by komocode http://ift.tt/2dhappf CrazyIdeas

Suspending Craftsman Model 113 table saw from garage? HomeImprovement

Hello, folks.

Attached are a handful of pictures of my garage prior to drywall install. I'm running short on space after some projects, and would like to give my wife her garage back. I have an old (1960s old) Craftsman Model 113 table saw, weighing somewhere in the neighborhood of 200lbs.

Is there any compelling reason I can't suspend the saw in a corner of the garage? It would be the leftmost corner, just interior of the beam.

My plan is to put in two pulleys attached to eye bolts. One will go into the side of the large central beam in the garage, the other will go into a 2x8 anchored across three studs. I've got two 840-lb strength 3/8" steel cable loops around the body of the saw, and was hoping to lift it up, place it on a refrigerator we have in a corner, and tie the cable to a cleat on the wall.

Any reason this won't work as described? http://ift.tt/2deDnoV

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 09:50AM by NoTheOtherSean http://ift.tt/2dD4EUF HomeImprovement

How much bag bloat is too much? sousvide

So, I've got a pork shoulder going at almost 12 hours of the 24, and it's going to be smoked afterwards.

It's about 6 pounds, and I put a rub on it, and then tossed it in the bag. I double-sealed both ends, and kept it in the refrigerator overnight while my brisket finished this morning.

Anyhow, I'm getting some bag bloat (I can try and grab a picture in a bit) and I figured it should be okay since it's set to 165, but I'm a bit concerned. It's submerged, but I just worry about it. It won't be the end of the world if its ruined when I pull it out tomorrow at noon, but it's definitely be a bummer.

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 08:39AM by aaronwhite1786 http://ift.tt/2dykfky sousvide

5 months into my lease, 6 fumigation attempts for cockroaches and the problem is no better. Can I withhold rent? What are my options? legaladvice

5 months ago I moved into a new apartment in Los Angeles. A couple days after move-in I noticed there were cockroaches hiding everywhere (didn't notice them at first as I visited in the daytime and they were nowhere to be found). But, this is SoCal, cockroaches aren't uncommon. I notified management and they came out and sprayed two days later. Flash forward to now. If I were independently wealthy, or had good credit, I'd have already moved. I scrub twice a week and keep a very clean apartment. I've come out of my bedroom at 2 am, flipped on the lights and seen some nightmare quality scenes of cockroaches scattering. Just last week I discovered nests in the legs on my furniture. (I know, how couldn't I know they were there... I didnt.) They are in my dishwasher and refrigerator. This isn't just a few roaches in the kitchen. This is waking up with them in my bed. Call management, spray, etc. I can't seem to get through to the landlord that the spray isn't killing them and that the infestation is far worse than they know. As of the end of September I contacted the health department and they inspected today, much to the dislike of my landlord and building management. My landlord, we'll call her "Judith" said I am becoming a problem tenant, offered me my deposit back and told me to move. EASIER SAID THAN DONE. I have typed a letter up to withhold rent and having trouble with the idea of paying rent in good conscience.

I realize the standard response is just "MOVE!" but it's really not so simple for me.

Can I legally withhold rent? What can I do here?

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 06:00AM by MyNameIsScott http://ift.tt/2cHgmgk legaladvice

Is your refrigerator running? [Vine] videos

http://ift.tt/2dxW5qm

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 04:53AM by _mousey http://ift.tt/2defqkR videos

Walk in refrigerators compared with 2 freezers smallbusiness

Hi,

My wife is considering a walk in freezer for her bakery to replace two large freezers for more space. I think this would add 30 - 40% more freezer storage.

I am wondering if this is a good idea?

One of the freezers broke down the other week and she was able to shuffle just about everything into the second freezer.

What sort of backup mechanisms do walkin freezers have?

Is the power useage of a walkin going to be sigificantly higher?

Will we have to submit a plan to Washington state before having it installed?

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 02:48AM by ILikeCutePuppies http://ift.tt/2du3pCi smallbusiness

Home warranty question, post-closing (Calif) RealEstate

Hi. Closed escrow ~2 months ago. Part of the contract was a home warranty. Note that the "upgraded" checkbox is checked.

Our icemaker stopped working, and I went to set up a service appointment to discover that I am on the Standard Plan, and refrigerators are not covered on that plan.

Finally, it's super annoying to have to deal with this, because replacing the whole icemaker is like $75 in parts and I can do it myself so it seems like it's not even worth it... but then again, what if the whole fridge goes next month?

Anyway, Fidelity offers many plans, and I'm a bit peeved that I got put on the "standard" plan when my contract clearly said "upgraded" (although what that means specifically, I don't know).

Questions:

What does "upgraded" typically mean here?
Who messed up? Escrow, LA, BA, me?
Who corrects the issue? How?
Who pays the difference?
Anything else I should know?

Thanks!

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 01:56AM by ent3ndu http://ift.tt/2dxAWMU RealEstate

[FOR SALE] $200 Refrigerator LAlist

I'm moving tomorrow and need to sell my refrigerator. It is a Frigidaire I purchased 1 year ago for $500.00 and it seriously looks brand new. Everything works perfectly and the condition is pristine. Price is negotiable. Available for pick up anytime today- literally within 20 minutes of you reaching out. Let's make it happen!

Here is my craigslist ad with pictures: http://ift.tt/2cGSZ6i

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 01:24AM by ralff_ http://ift.tt/2cHsUiO LAlist

Help Diagnosing Refrigerator Problem refrigeration

We are a small ice cream company in MT. We purchased a commercial fridge from an online distributor that was DOA. To make a long story short, the producer of the fridge (Avantco) didn't want to pay the extra money to have a repair man come out from over an hour away. After I threatened with small claims courts, the distributor eventually refunded me in full, but voided the warranty. I got to keep the fridge, and was able to get the new temp control unit and secondary temperature probe from the repairman who was originally supposed to make the service call.

I installed both the new temp control unit and the secondary temperature probe, and still no dice -- despite being set at 33F, the fridge never seems to get colder than 42F. I can always hear a low-level hum, but only hear the compressor kick in periodically, though it doesn't seem to be doing much good.

What's next? I am mechanically inclined but do not have a lot of experience with refrigeration. The service manual is basically useless. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Submitted October 01, 2016 at 12:58AM by Tragabigzanda http://ift.tt/2ddrrnC refrigeration

Theory Crafting: Should Minecraft have an Icebox Block? Minecraft

I was starting to craft this comment on a different post, but it got to be a pretty cool idea that I felt I should share with other people so they could bounce off my ideas and contribute new ones to make something pretty cool. Basically someone said that a refrigerator block would be useless because food doesn't decay. They're right of course - it doesn't. But what if it did?

Where other people see refrigeration as useless, I see an idea. Maybe it would be a cool addition to the harder difficulty modes to make food decay, and thus require you to create something like an icebox if you want to keep more than simple produce. Maybe something like after 2 minecraft weeks, things like Melon/Carrots/etc. "go bad" and no longer provide you any benefit - something similar to the poison potato now, except inevitable. Things that give you more benefit (cooked chicken, steak, pork) would go bad even faster perhaps after only one or two minecraft days, just like in real life. Really hard to get things things like golden apples/cake would never go bad because of preservatives. If you want to extend the shelf life of your food, you have to put it into an icebox.

Here are some reasons why it is a cool idea:

People like realism in survival mods. I have lots of friends who will add Hunger and Thirst mods to Skyrim and other games because they make them more difficult. Minecraft already has hunger as a mechanic, but right now it's not very realistic and you don't really have to worry about it much after day 6 or so once you have a sizable farm. Adding a food spoiling mechanic would require people to actually pay attention to their farming rather than it being just a once-a-week clean up kind of ordeal when you run out of bread.
It encourages exploration, because if people want their food to last longer, they need to go find a Taiga biome/Tundra/Extreme Hills where they can collect some snow and ice, much like how they need to look for coal or lava if they want to power their furnaces without using up all of their wood.
It brings usefulness and mechanics to otherwise rarely used items. Aside from building an igloo or using it as decoration on certain builds, most people don't use ice or snow for much. There are a couple cool traps that use it too (slippery floor traps where mobs are pushed by snow golems) but their usefulness is very limited. If this was instituted, suddenly snow becomes a useful resource.
Snow biomes have been historically unloved by the minecraft community. They are boring and annoying, because aside from getting some spruce wood there's really no reason to ever be in one other than aesthetics. Now, suddenly, everyone is going to want a Taiga biome so they can keep their food cold.
Ice boxes, rather than fridges, stay fairly true to minecraft's theme, especially if you make them aesthetically similar to some of the older style ones, which are literally just boxes with ice and food inside.
It would also bring usefulness to the food items people don't care about. When was the last time you ate a carrot? It's probably been awhile since after awhile all people ever eat is steak. But if you need ice/snow to keep them from spoiling, suddenly those other foods have a use. Haven't found an snowy biome yet? You'll probably be eating a lot more bread and veggies.

So here's a tl;dr of what I've got so far; feel free to add ideas onto this and maybe we'll end up with something really cool:

Food on harder difficulties (Hard / Hardcore / Maybe normal as well) will spoil after a certain time.
Different foods will have different spoiling rates based on their usefulness / similar spoiling rate in real life
Carrots/Potatoes/Beetroot/Melon will spoil after 1 - 2 minecraft weeks
Meats/Fish will spoil after 1 - 3 minecraft days, perhaps randomly, or based on their stamina refill.
Golden Carrots/Golden Apples/Cake don't spoil.
There will be a new block called an Icebox.
It will be crafted with 8 iron ingots around a block of snow.
It will have a 9 block square of inventory space, much like a dispenser would.
It will have a block of inventory space for fuel, which will be of the form of different types of snow or ice, much like a furnace.
I'm thinking something like one snowball would give you 1/32 of a minecraft day of refrigeration, a snow block would give you 1/8, and an ice block would give you 1/2 day, but those might be too big or too small (hard to know until it's playtested).

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 10:19PM by oth_radar http://ift.tt/2cR3t1B Minecraft

"Refrigerator Blindness" Published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, researchers complain about their kids yelling when unable to find something in a fridge. funny

http://ift.tt/2d15aHz

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 09:38PM by Shotdownace http://ift.tt/2cQZqT2 funny

Wrong Number Jokes

Naughty Kid:"Hello! do you have a refrigerator?" Man: "Yes I have.Who are you?" Kid: "Is it running?" Man: "Yes". Kid: "Get hold of it...... otherwise it might run away". The man slams down the phone ! ! ! After few minutes the phone bell rings again? Naughty Kid:"Do you have a refrigerator?" Man (angrily):"NO,I don't have". Kid:"Didn't I tell you to hold it".

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 07:58PM by ProgrammingLife http://ift.tt/2dwTBbA Jokes

Win a New Refrigerator and a Fridge Fresh unit!! {US} (10/02/2016) giveaways

http://wshe.es/cvq454qv

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 07:10PM by lefty2211 http://ift.tt/2dB5Jwg giveaways

[M/s] The Awakening of Me and my Mom – Part 2^2 incest

[M/s] The Awakening of Me and my Mom – Part 2

Note, reposted to comply with the 12+ hour rule

Part 1

Part Two

I was still on Ohio time. Even so, I was zonked out when the alarm went off. 5 fucking 30 in the am. Seriously? What the fuck woman! You drank yourself silly last night. But she was up and in the shower. I dozed until I heard clanging in the kitchen. She came and woke me up. Told me to start getting ready. So roused myself, threw my sweat pants on and shuffled out to the kitchen in a zombie haze.

I stood in the kitchen. She had her hair in a towel and was wearing a short robe. I couldn't see her ass but I saw the back of her thighs as she put some bread in the toaster and got her stuff ready.

"Do you eat breakfast," she asked?

I mumbled. Normally on the farm I was up at 4:30 and working chores. I'd be done by about 6am, run back for eggs, bacon and/or sausage and toast and then get to the buss by 6:30am to make it to school in town by 7:15am. I had a routine. When I was done I got home by 4:30pm, did chores until dinner time at 6pm, then did homework while we watched TV. We only got 4 channels so we watched what was on. When Carson came on I went to bed. Then I did it all over again.

But that morning, no, I wanted water and coffee. I was in a haze still. Her kitchen was like a throwback. Her refrigerator looked like it came from the 50s, her stove was gas (which was good, I hate electric stoves). Her kitchen table was bright red with metal legs, pressed against the wall, and she had 3 chairs, the vinyl backs the same red as the table, chrome legs on them all. Maybe it was the 60s. It sure as hell wasn't the ultra modern Buck Rogers stuff of the 80s.

I just shook my head, drank some water and then some coffee. She smiled at that, I was drinking coffee. She seemed impressed I drank it black.

"I'm going to get dressed," she said. "You should too. While I'm at work I want you to explore the city."

We got dressed, I was ready before she was so sat there. She came out, gave me the keys to the place, a MUNI bus pass and a MUNI map. She wrote a star on the map for where the flat was. And she gave me a business card with her pager #, the flat # and the flat address. And she gave me $20.

So, that's what I did. I wandered the city. I meandered and explored and used the bus pass as my free ticket to anyplace in the city. And I found PORN. Oh My God Porn! Yes, strip joints, porn places, with those booths you shove quarters into to watch a snippet of porn. And I found my calling. Well, not really calling, but oh my god the monkey sure as hell was punished that day. I spanked that bastard like he spilled all the fucking milk. In fact, I forgot to eat lunch, and spent way too much time meandering. It was just before 7:30pm by the time I made it back to the flat and I thought I'd be in trouble.

But she wasn't there. I grabbed a beer out of the fridge, which was anemic at best, beer, a yogurt or two, and more beer, then vodka. I went back and drank it while I watched TV. She was home not long after that. She fell onto me with hugs apologizing for working so late and asked me if I ate. Then she practically stripped right in front of me as she talked.

She sat down on the couch, I stood and turned the TV off. She pulled off her heels, then reached up her skirt and pulled off her panty hose. While I was standing there watching. Even though I jerked off like 3 times that day (could have been more, I don't recall, but I know I had no money left) inside those sticky floored sweet-rancid smelling porn booths I still got a semi while she did that. She reached up her blouse, undid her bra and pulled it off. Then she leaned back and just sighed heavily.

We talked about dinner plans. I told her I could cook that grandma had taught me. But she was in the mood for Italian. So we went out. Nice dinner, she drank her fill of wine, and then we went back to the flat. She got into her 49ers Jersey and then collapsed onto the couch to watch TV. The vodka came out and she cuddled against me. This became the nightly routine. TV cuddles as she got drunk and passed out on the couch.

Sometimes she’d get up and go into her room, sometimes she’d fall asleep on the couch only to wake up in the middle of the night and go to bed.

For my first weekend there she rented a mini-van. We explored all up and down the coast and ended up at SeaWorld. I don't know why she wanted to walk around. She was wearing a skirt, hose and heels with a button blouse like she did to work. It wasn't as tight but was still flattering to her shape.

After a day exploring, trip to Sea World, we stopped for dinner, seafood and the Red Lobster all you can eat shrimp special. Then, we began the drive back in the waning sunlight and I dozed off. I was in one of those half asleep stages where I can't tell if I was day dreaming or real dreaming, but at any rate, the image of my mom in one of those porno movies played through my head. I woke up with a raging erection. It was shoving out right there, pushing my pants to the limit. I looked to my mom and she smiled at me and asked me if I needed to take care of that.

I was embarrassed. I said something under my breath, and tried to cover it up. She insisted that I stop being ashamed. That it's natural and normal and I had nothing to be worried about. That she wasn't judging me for anything no matter what I chose to do or not do.

"It'll be messy," I said, trying to excuse it away.

We were not on the freeway, but the highway. She pulled off the road, stopped, and turned sideways in her seat. She put both her feet onto my lap and instructed me to take off her shoes and panty hose. So did. I unbuckled her heels and then slid them off her feet. Then I reached up under her skirt, got my fingers under her panty hose, and pulled with my left hand. I had to put both hands up, she didn't move her feet, so they pressed against my erection.

I slowly peeled off her pantyhose, with that and her feet pressing against my erection that was almost it. They came off, she turned, put the car back in gear and went back onto the highway. I pulled out my dick, wrapped it in the part of the pantyhose that was covering her crotch, and began jerking it slowly.

She drove, I slowly stroked, getting into it. Since I jerked it so much I tended to last. I had a rhythm to get into. Her panty house made it different, nicer in a way, more intense, and I stroked it slowly enjoying it.

"Wow," she said. "You are lasting a bit there."

"This is my hobby," I mumbled.

She laughed. "Maybe this will help," she said. She then pulled her blouse out of her skirt, pulled it up, pulled a boob out of the bottom of her bra, and began to squeeze her giant boob, stroking her thumb and forefinger over her nipple.

And I ejaculated. I ejaculated hard and grunted like some kind of primeval caveman while I did. My body had spasms as I stared at her caressing her nipple and my dick pumped my cum out.

She laughed and put her boob back in. "I bet that's better," she said. I nodded, wiped all the cum into her pantyhose, and then put my dick back in my pants.

I did feel better. A lot better. We talked. Then the talk got serious. I had a "job" I was supposed to do.

On Monday, high school. Man, that sucked.

And my first week with my mom ended.

End Part Two

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 06:30PM by mygapanalysis http://ift.tt/2dq2fM0 incest

Is your refrigerator running? Because you better go catch it... funny

https://youtu.be/ulzQOFoRi7c

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 12:56PM by ChrisJamesRobb http://ift.tt/2cQ6AXz funny

M4F- My you've... Grown. dirtypenpals

The year was a rough one for me. Classes dragged , parties were lame, and no one wanted to put out. I came home to try my luck in my old stomping ground. As soon as I entered the front door, I knew something felt amiss. I said hi to mom and dad just long enough for them to tell me they were leaving for the week on vacation, but that you were in the back yard getting some sun. I stash my case of beer in the refrigerator. and make my way to the back door. I walk silently into the yard, wanting to surprise you. I haven't seen you in almost a year. I was not expecting who I found! You'd grown up... And I mean REALLY grown up. I'm stunned and I can only stare in disbelief, and more than just a little bit of.... Lust.

Pick it up from there! Also, let me know what you'll look like for this. This comes from an idea that was started and never finished, so let's have some fun. Light up my inbox with those bright orange envelopes!

PS... I'm always excepting responses as long as this is up! Happy typing!

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 01:01PM by ninja_visser http://ift.tt/2diskuo dirtypenpals

What's an obsolete word you like use. Like icebox instead of refrigerator, or my fav.. water closet instead of toilet? AskReddit

No text found

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 02:05PM by pm_me_stuff22 http://ift.tt/2drKFDJ AskReddit

How to fix a well that's run dry nosleep

A couple days ago, my well ran dry. It's been a fairly dry up here in upstate New York, but I didn't realize just how dry it had been I guess. We had rain showers here and there, but the ground definitely wasn't as wet as it had been in previous years.

At first, I was in denial about it having run dry. I swore up and down the pump must have failed, so I've spent the better part of two days trying to figure out what's gone wrong.

Unfortunately, a lot of my plumbing, and more importantly my well, is only accessible from inside a fairly cramped, dark, smelly, wet crawlspace. I think that’s where my problem came from. I've been leaving the trap door open since I've been up and down so much, but im starting to think that was a big mistake.

The weird stuff started last night. There was some noise coming from the crawl space. I don’t want to call it a whisper, but it was kind of like that. Ok not day what else to call it. It wasn't any language that I could figure, it was just kind of... Raspy noises like you might hear from a blocked air vent, but don't have forced air heat. It seemed to move around, too, coming from various sides of the trap door at any given point.

I couldn’t see anything, so I just chalked it up to air in the pipes. This morning, when I went back down in, there weren't any tracks, and there was nothing to be seen with my flashlight. So I kept working.

My neighbors about an eighth of a mile down the lane have been nice enough to let me come use their bathroom, and the old lady of the couple invited me to dinner tonight, so I called it quitting time fairly early to go get cleaned up. Again, I left the crawl space open, and this time the well head too, since I wasn’t done down there.

After dinner, when I came back, I noticed the breaker panel in the mud room had been tampered with…. The wires for the well, water heater, and everything else in the crawl space had been torn out rather violently… the wires seemed partly cut, with pigtails still connected to the breaker… but no cutters did this. The jackets to the wires were shredded.

Now, this might be alarming to most people, but I've been living in the woods for a while now, and I've seen animals do dumb stuff like this before. I flipped the breakers off, so that the pieces of wire left wouldn’t short out and cause any fires, and came upstairs to get ready for bed.

That was about at 9 o'clock. Since then, the whispering has resumed. Worse, what ever is down there has ripped out a few more circuits, leaving my first floor pitch black. The lights upstairs are flickering, and the whispering is getting louder. My cat went to investigate around 11, when we heard some footsteps… he hasn’t come back.

Guys its 2:30am, and I'm trapped up here. I've got about four hours until sunrise, all my tools are downstairs in the dark. I don’t know what to do, the whispering is getting louder, and the lights are flickering more frequently. I think it's laughing at me. A few minutes ago, there was a loud crash downstairs, it must have knocked over the refrigerator. I've got no way out, and no where to hide. Im too afraid to sleep, and I've got nothing to defend myself with. My phone's at 12 percent.

Shit, the lights up here just went out..

Wish me luck.

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 12:02PM by cantsleepitsinhere http://ift.tt/2drJKTI nosleep

Is your refrigerator running? Because you better go catch it... funny

https://youtu.be/ulzQOFoRi7c

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 12:56PM by ChrisJamesRobb http://ift.tt/2cQ6AXz funny

M4F- My you've... Grown. dirtypenpals

PS... I'm always excepting responses as long as this is up! Happy typing!

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 01:01PM by ninja_visser http://ift.tt/2diskuo dirtypenpals

What's an obsolete word you like use. Like icebox instead of refrigerator, or my fav.. water closet instead of toilet? AskReddit

No text found

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 02:05PM by pm_me_stuff22 http://ift.tt/2drKFDJ AskReddit

Thursday, September 29, 2016

TIL The Keret House, the world's skinniest residence. Located in Warsaw, Poland the house ranges from 2.5 to 4 feet in width and has 2 floors, a 2 beverage refrigerator, a toilet and a shower. The first residence of the house was the Israeli fiction writer, Etgar Keret. todayilearned

http://ift.tt/1UCJtAw

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 11:18AM by MM2236 http://ift.tt/2cFv87j todayilearned

Theres a "d" in fridge but not in refrigerator Showerthoughts

No text found

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 08:24AM by croooki http://ift.tt/2dE7LYL Showerthoughts

I haven't had a decent meal in ~2 weeks and would really appreciate some help. RandomActsOfPizza

My money from the past 2 weeks have been eaten up by bills and rent. I will happily send you a picture of my empty ass refrigerator. I will finally get paid on Tuesday and will 100% return the favor to whoever needs it. Honestly so desperate for food and can't even afford to go out and buy a packet of ramen. I live in New Zealand and have Dominos pizza as my option.

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 08:02AM by Lookatme89 http://ift.tt/2cPtFtC RandomActsOfPizza

Recovering from Depression, need light foods for college dorm nutrition

I have been recovering from a period of depression where I lost a lot of weight and have been slowly gaining it back.

I have recently moved away from home to attend school. However, as I live on campus and a single meal is nearly $8 CDN, I would like to buy some things that'll give me enough energy for classes in the case that I can't get a meal or things that'll get me through the evening if I don't have time to go buy something.

I have a mini-refrigerator and access to a sink and microwave.

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 06:07AM by rekwag http://ift.tt/2df6Fmq nutrition

Taylor Swift & the Guy from Duck Dynasty Part II The Prequel creepypasta

"We were both young when I first saw you," sang the bearded loon. "Tay-tay, what'd'ya say, just you and I run off, and ditch this whole thing?" inquired the buffoon.

"By golly, you sure are as dim-witted as you appear," Taylor Swift had just about had enough of Duck Dynasty guy's risky contemplation. "Don't you know that we signed our lives away? These Arabs may look physically monkey-ish, but they have the wits to know that we Americans are so quick to betrayal, therefore I ask of you to swap the beard for a brain, and ask yourself whether they're keeping an especially close eye on us." The new recruit made her point clear. Duck Dynasty guy stood biting his lip.

"Y'know, Tay-tay, you've got a really nice frame of mind about this whole thing. What'd'ya say we go round the back, and you blow me?"

Taylor Swift had no objection, and proceeded to perform fellatio on the bearded man forty years her senior.

Taylor: "Alright, now we've got an appointment to keep. Remember mission briefing, we are to maintain that we have come to this land to broaden children's horizons, and provide anecdotal evidence in how American customs can sweep their nation for the better."

Duck Dynasty guy: "Yeah, yeah. I remember rolling my eyes at the whole thing. I thought we'd be shootin' shit. How are we expected to convert these sand people to the ways of a them good ol' folks back home? It ain't right if ya ask me. Sure as shit, a duck would adapt to lava quicker than persuading these people to wear jeans!"

Taylor: "I see what you're saying, but don't worry yourself with the stupidity of the concept, for it's merely a front. The school principal of where we are arranged to give our lecture is the infamous Gaddafi Al Bana.

Duck Dynasty guy: "Oh, yeah. The banana guy. The mastermind behind the Romanian refrigerator incident. I'll admit, I couldn't understand a word of the briefing. They gotta learn to talk real slow if they wanna get through to me. Hey, Tay-tay, how bout another go round the back, eh?

The two went to the school right on schedule. There they'd play it cool, and go through with their hidden agenda, under the guise of merely giving a lecture. As Duck Dynasty guy slipped away to the men's room, he passed through the cafeteria, and dropped a toxic capsule into a teapot prescribed for the principal. It was only a matter of time before they could leave the school successful of their first mission. One thing stood in their way, however, a student named Greg Gorbos.

The Duck Dynasty guy returned to the class distraught over the confounded look on Taylor Swift's mug.

"The hell's the matter?" He blurted.

Taylor Swift handed him a hand-drawn picture of them having brutal sex, him bum fucking her. He furrowed his brow, and demanded to meet its creator. Then, amidst a crowd of bronze faces, gleamed a pale one; he stepped forward.

Greg Gorbos: "It... It was me sir. I drew you fucking Taylor Swift in the bum. It's... It's a real shame you don't like it, sir. I... I worked really hard on it. You could see outstretched strands of semen and everything, sir."

His mouth agape, the Duck Dynasty guy stood speechless. Taylor Swift shared his disgust. A feeling of paranoia then struck the two, for the question had arisen: Had this Greg Gorbos boy been the witness to them fooling around? Although just a delusion, the sheer possibility of Greg Gorbos seeing them previously fool around, brought about the question of what else he may have witnessed. Could he have seen the undercover operatives briefing the mission at hand? They looked at each other nervously, having not the slightest idea of what this child knew. Suddenly, the class teacher intervened.

Teacher: "Greg Gorbos... See me after class."

The End

(The ending of this story marks the beginning of part one, this story was a prequel.)

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 06:14AM by IIBustyCrustaceanII http://ift.tt/2dIBrag creepypasta

Contractor cut neutral causing huge power surge into my home. What should I be concerned about. electricians

On 9/14 a sub-contractor for At&t Uverse was laying Fiber Optic cable in my neighborhood. When they got to my property, while digging, they broke the neutral which caused a power surge into my house. I was just outside the door at the time, but looking in the windows, it looked & sounded like fireworks going off in my living room. Flashes & pops. It was pretty scary.

I’ve lost my refrigerator, oven, computer, & several other items.
My husband spoke with the sub-contractor for the Power Co. that did the repair and they confirmed the neutral was cut., which would have caused a surge. 5 houses were affected, but there’s a transformer between us and the other 4 houses. So we got the surge & they only lost power.

I think I should have called the fire dept, but didn’t. There was an electrical burning smell in my living room, but I believe that was isolated to a power strip. All companies involved are pointing fingers at the other, none taking responsibility. Nope on homeowners too.

With this scenario, what should I be concerned about? My refrigerator lived for 4 days before it started rattling & clunked. Bearing in mind, I have to pay for all this out of pocket until someone accepts the blame- do I need to have my home wiring tested. My home was built in 1980 with the original wiring. Is there any danger something happened behind the walls?

Should I have someone check out my heatpump? It seems to be working ok at the moment. Next question, If I had been inside holding the refrigerator door, would I have been electrocuted? I appreciate any pointers in things I should know to do or watch out for. I'm in NC. Thanks

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 04:14AM by rmd4922 http://ift.tt/2dIq3uT electricians

[Housing] I need help figuring out my high electricity bill personalfinance

I've felt like my electric bill has been high for the last few months, so I decided to run an experiment while I was on vacation.

On average we use 42 kwh to 65 kwh.

While on vacation I unplugged and turned off everything I could even the HVAC. The only things running were a refrigerator, a stand-up freezer, our security system with four small cameras, cable modem, wireless router and a radon system.

When I got back I checked my usage ( smart meter) and it was 22 kwh each day. That seems excessive to me.

What is my next step?

Thanks!

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 04:22AM by DiademBedfordshire http://ift.tt/2deU6I6 personalfinance

Free refrigerator (65 Simsbury Road Stamford Connecticut) FreeStuffNYC

working refrigerator we spray painted the front to make it look more presentable in the garage. We got a larger one off of Craigslist so figured we would return the favor. it is located in front of 65 Simsbury Road Stamford Connecticut at the very en [...]

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2cOWeam

via IFTTT

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 02:57AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2cOXiuS FreeStuffNYC

TIL the time machine from Back to the Future was originally a refrigerator, then later changed to a DeLorean todayilearned

http://ift.tt/GWNCDI

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 02:45AM by searchaskew http://ift.tt/2dq9EXV todayilearned

Free refrigerator (65 Simsbury Road Stamford Connecticut) FreeStuffNYC

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2cOWeam

via IFTTT

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 02:57AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2cOXiuS FreeStuffNYC

[Request] Looking for a way to clean mildew/mold on refrigerator gaskets lifehacks

Hello. I recently purchased a house, and it has a refrigerator in the garage that has acquired a little mildew/mold. I am looking for the best way to get rid of it. It is mainly on the gaskets. Thanks!

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 01:07AM by New_DudeToo http://ift.tt/2cZo55d lifehacks

[Request] Looking for a way to clean mildew/mold on refrigerator gaskets - lifehacks knowyourshit

http://ift.tt/2dDcyK9

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 01:37AM by Know_Your_Shit http://ift.tt/2doe0Cm knowyourshit

TIL the DeLorean in Back to the Future was originally a refrigerator, with a scrapped nuclear blast scene used 25 years later in Indiana Jones todayilearned

http://ift.tt/GWNCDI

Submitted September 30, 2016 at 12:26AM by searchaskew http://ift.tt/2d9elaX todayilearned

Is your refrigerator running? Jokes

Because I'd rather vote for it than these candidates.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 10:26PM by slaterous http://ift.tt/2dd6Mk4 Jokes

Landlord and ex-city official renting an illegal apartment to me. Sent surrender letter, now what? (Cambridge, Massachusetts) legal

So my boyfriend and I moved into a basement apartment on June 1 that we found through a realty company. Since the day our lease started, we have been experiencing water leakage problems. It was determined that it was due to a broken pipe underground. After many other problems with the apartment, mold, mice, cracked ceiling seams, broken refrigerator, etc in the last few months, we decided to have a city housing inspector come in and take a look. We were tired of sleeping on the living room floor for 3 weeks while the mold problem was being remedied aka being 'treated' and painted over. Our issue is that the source of the moisture (two different sources) were still not fixed.

When we were complaining about the mold, he said that it wasn't the 'bad type of mold' basically saying he thought we were overreacting, he said in his 20 years he's never had this much contact with a tenant... He has called us millennials for expecting prompter replies to our requests for repairs.

There is chronic moisture in the apartment despite the having purchased a dehumidifier, which is kept on at all times. During the mold problem, we did not sleep in the bedroom for health reasons. We had to purchase an airbed to sleep on the living room floor for three weeks while the problem existed. The 8-drawer dresser had to be thrown away since the mold had permeated through the back into the drawer area were clothes were stored. Because of the water and mold problems, I had to have my clothes laundered twice. We have not been able to fully unpack because of potential water damage. Because of the initial water flooding and mold issues, we have not been able to use this unit to the as a proper two room unit that we signed a lease for.

The inspector said that in the city's database, it lists the house has having a finished basement, but with a living space of 0. He then connected us to a zoning specialist who informed us that the apartment actually does not have a Certificate of Occupancy, so it shouldn't have been rented to us in the first place. The original inspector said that in addition to multiple code violations, the unit would likely not qualify for a Certificate of Occupancy in the first place because it doesn't meet the requirements of being a habitable living space. (Most importantly, more than 1/2 of the floor-to-ceiling ratio is below the adjoining ground. aka below grade).

We figured it would be easier to have a civil conversation about our issues before taking legal action, so in the beginning of Sept, we asked to mutually terminate the lease, and the landlord said no, we are held accountable to the end and that he believed he had taken reasonable measure to address our issues. He said he would have the realtor list the apt for rent though and we would be held responsible until a new tenant was found.

It took a week for the realtor to even list the apartment on their website, and more than two weeks to even advertise it. The realtor was nasty to me on the phone saying that the process will follow his process. Everyone I tried to pass along to expedite the situation bowed out because they refused to pay a full month's realtor fee when they really weren't working with one.

After looking up more about tenant's rights, we found out that it is actually illegal to rent a unit without a certificate of occupancy:

Chapter 148 of the General Laws is hereby amended by inserting after section 34D the following new section: Section 34E. (a) Any owner, occupant, lessee or other person having control or supervision of any building or structure, or representing that he has control or supervision of any building or structure, who, knowingly, recklessly or negligently, causes or allows said building to be illegally occupied, shall be punished by a fine of not more than $15,000 or by imprisonment in a house of correction for not more than 2 ½ years, or both. For the purposes of this section, “illegally occupied” shall mean: — (1) Occupation of any dwelling unit created by formal or informal division or partition within a building or structure without issuance of a proper building permit and certificate of occupancy issued in accordance with the provisions of the State Building Code.

Finally, 4 months after the initial water problem, when the inspector sent the citation over, we also sent a letter of surrender of the unit. Walked out the door that very day and saw that the whole front yard was finally being dug up to repair the pipe after 4 months. Our landlord said "you have a lease, see you in court" in addition to some other condescending words.

My landlord has a law background, he has been the mayor of our city twice, it's hard for me to believe that he doesn't know better than to rent out a space that violates sanitary housing codes AND does not have a Certificate of Occupancy for it. AND he continues to try to do so to someone else after we have had it all documented. I wonder if he thinks he can get away with it, have people look the other way, or even cover up how he has handled the situation. What are our rights?

We are moving out today (end of the month). He has not responded to our letter. We already paid our last month's rent upfront, so I imagine we will have to fight for that back... or any other costs.

Additionally, is the realty company also accountable for renting us this unrentable unit? Are we entitled to a refund of the realty fees? It pains me that we coughed up a full month of rent to sign for a place that was a living hell for 4 months.

TLDR: I have a lease for an illegal apartment. Our landlord has threatened to take us to court. What should we do?

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 11:06PM by sleunger http://ift.tt/2duCjjR legal

A Medium-Length Rant on the Behavior/Attitude of Wealthy Foreigners Traveling Through or Living in Developing Countries travel

Before I begin this rant, a couple definitions and disclaimers:

For the sake of this discussion, a wealthy foreigner is anyone from a first world country who has the means to live/travel for an extended period of time in a poorer country without working. If you're spending US$1k/month in a country where the average wage is US$200-300/month, within this context you are wealthy - even if you earned that money flipping Whoppers at home.

I love living in a developing country and there's no question that at least part of the appeal is a lower cost of living.

Traveling to poor countries is great.

I mean, who doesn't love trading in a single Ben Franklin for a giant wad of quetzales or dong that will last you for a week?

From cheap eats to sub-dollar beers to crazy nights out that cost you less than lunch at Applebee's...it's totally freakin' sweet to take a few weeks of your 1st world salary to the developing world and totally ball out like you're a rock star.

Or to take that same money and rattle off 3 months of hostel beds and buckets of awful Thai whiskey without the terrible nuisance that is a job.

I love it and I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

With a few caveats.

Recognize How Lucky You are to Have this Option

It truly boggles the mind how many travelers/expats you meet in developing countries who are oblivious to the reality of being born a local within such an economy.

Don't be a douchebag and make ridiculous claims such as:

They're happier with less money.

They're happy in spite of this fact, not because of it.

For God's sake, don't behave as though favorable exchange rates and low prices exist solely for you to enjoy a kickass holiday on the cheap.

And don't perpetuate the farce that "they may earn less but things cost less so it evens out." It doesn't even out - that's why windows have no glass and people spend years to pay off their oven or refrigerator.

It's hard to get ahead on $3-$4/hour anywhere in the world. Getting by is not getting ahead and on that wage they'll never afford the minimal level of lifestyle that those from the first world would deem acceptable.

You need not feel guilty about the unfairness of the world - but don't be a dick and act as if you somehow deserve this better life "just because."

I hear it all the time here from the gringos in Mexico (I am one, too, just to clarify) - Oh, so and so earns $70/week! He's doing pretty good and shouldn't complain.

If you're living in the same country off $500/week then you know damn well that $70/week isn't "pretty good"...just because it's better than someone who's unemployed doesn't mean that it's not still a pretty tough life.

You don't need to pay them above market wage just because - but cut the crap about how good someone has it when they earn in a day what you earn in an hour.

It's fine to take advantage of the economic disparity but it's not OK to try and convince yourself that you're not fortunate to have that opportunity.

Haggle within Reason

There's a big difference between "being ripped off because you're a foreigner" and "paying slightly more than the price a local would pay."

If you go into a restaurant and they try to charge you more than the menu states, argue until you're red in the face.

If you are asked at the market for 12 cents for an unmarked banana instead of 8, pay 12 and be happy that you earn 20x what that banana seller does.

There's gray area here but it's pretty obvious when you're taking advantage or being a cheap asshole. Don't take advantage of people. Don't be a cheap asshole.

Don't stick it to someone struggling to get by over 25 cents to prove a point. You already won long before the negotiation began.

Stop Whinging when Something of Quality Costs Real Money

You see this one all the time...some artisan has the AUDACITY to ask 40 bucks for a high quality weaving they spent 20 hours making.

If you don't want to buy the good, fine...but don't complain that someone else values their time as you do.

Same goes for upgrading to better quality food or taking a bike tour with high-grade equipment or hiring the services of an English speaking local for something that the non-English speaking locals charge less for.

Not everything in the developing world will be dirt cheap so don't throw a temper tantrum or freak out when you're asked to pay 1/2 what you would normally pay for something instead of 1/10.

I'm not saying to throw your money around willy-nilly or to allow yourself to get screwed over by "in-the-know" locals - but with more and more people traveling to/living in places like Central America and Southeast Asia, it's important to bear in mind that these places are cheap because life is fucking hard there - not because the world owes you a vacation.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 11:19PM by Oax_Mike http://ift.tt/2cOr8je travel

LG Refrigerator - lmx25964ss - Freezer doesn't seem to be freezing Appliances

I just bought a house which has not been occupied since June (FYI, I bought it two weeks ago). I've only put one thing in the freezer, some pizza rolls, and they were just cold when I pulled them out of the freezer section. It was as if they had been in the fridge the whole time. I am wondering if anyone can provide me with some troubleshooting tips to figure out why the freezer doesn't seem to be freezing. I have the freezer temperature set at -6 degrees!

How much does it cost to have a technician come out and troubleshoot this stuff? I'd prefer to not buy a new fridge right now because I am semi house poor!

Edit: FYI, the ice maker doesn't seem to work either.

Thanks

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 09:54PM by TheLoneProspector http://ift.tt/2cEADhp Appliances

Refrigerator Suggestions? Minneapolis

Anyone have good/bad experiences with getting a new refrigerator and having the old one taken away? Looking more toward scratch and dent/refurbished than brand new.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 06:21PM by lexdexhe http://ift.tt/2cNF4d7 Minneapolis

M4F- This was not what I was expecting when I came home from school. dirtypenpals

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 11:36AM by ninja_visser http://ift.tt/2cDgZ5I dirtypenpals

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

TIFU by leaving a kombucha in my fridge for months.. tifu

This is actually my wife's fuck up that happened less than an hour ago.

Let me start by saying Chia seeds are one of the "foods" I despise most in this cruel world.

Earlier today we were looking through our fridge trying to find something to cook for dinner. While rummaging through the side drawers, She noticed a Kombucha (with Chia seeds) that her mom had brought her when she visited us months ago. She has pulled it out the last few weeks, telling me she doesn't want this specific drink, and asked if I would drink it. Apparently my wife likes chia seed drinks, and also Kombucha drinks,but not Kombucha with Chia seeds?!?... Well I fucking hate Chia seeds. Why would I want a drink where you have to chew these little shitty seeds while you are trying to swallow a liquid? It's the worst idea ever.

Anyway, she pulled out the drink and looked at the experation date (06/06/16) and we could both obviously tell it has been expired for over 3 months. I told her to throw it away, that anything fermented in a glass bottle under that kind of pressure would explode. She laughed and set it on our counter... Not before putting the bottle to my ear to let me here a serious hissing sound. Again I told her to throw it away. Thinking she would get rid of it, I grabbed a beer and went into the living room. She came in after a bit to watch tv with me and we were relaxing when I thought I heard a gun shot. I bolted off the couch to see a volcano of Kombucha pouring out of the bottle on my counter, And FUCKING STRAWBERRY CHIA SEEDS all over our ceiling, table, floor, microwave, oven, INSIDE AND OUT of our cupboards, refrigerator, behind decorations, and basically everywhere that is not the moon.

After spending the last (?) minutes cleaning the demon seeds up, I am finally able to have another beer on my couch.

Maybe I should rename this: TIFU by not ordering my wife to keep fermented Chia seeds out of my fucking house.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 08:49AM by HerrHamil http://ift.tt/2dBbDd4 tifu

[SP] The Werewolf shortstories

It’s always difficult to explain one’s self in writing. It is especially hard to begin such an explanation, but there isn’t exactly anyone else with whom I can talk. I’ve never really had anyone to talk to on the farm. I never even wanted to be a farmer although it’s not like I really have a choice. My parents used to be good company, I have an issue you see with sleep walking. The first night my affliction was discovered I ended up bruised battered and bloody at the bottom of the stairs of my house, so after that my parents took to the habit of tying me into bed with a thick rope we used to lead the cattle. I must not have appreciated the company of my parents very much because I remember spending most of my time with them reading old books they had stored around the house. I’d be happy to accept that I was a distant person, but neither my mother nor my father ever tried to disturb my reading. Actually I take it back, my mother did do one thing for me though, she would tell me what adventures I would try to go on at night. She would talk about how I would try to grab my rain coat so I could adventure around the town, or how I would try to turn my sheets into wings so I could fly away making her rip up my sheets so she could keep my company. The explanations were southing to me in my youth. But my parents were all too happy to leave me. One day I woke up and my chords were untied, I was in the woods, my face runny and I had bruises around my neck and chest. Mother and Father didn’t come home. Perhaps I tend their farm in the hopes that they do come back, maybe so they can tell me why they left or how the ropes came undone. But after years of tending and tilling they haven’t made any attempts to contact me. This is unfortunate because I don’t particularly like the farm. Plants die under my watch, and more recently animals have been attacked by a beast skulking about the woods. About every month at night the beast finds its way into my barn, jumps into one of the cow’s stalls, kills it and eats its guts out. I find a mangled corpse in the morning with no track or trail to follow to my cow’s assailant. I tried steaking out to get to the root of the problem. I got a gun from the shop in town and sat out on my porch every night from eight at night to three in the morning waiting to capture my pest. I did this for about a week and never caught anything. Staying awake in it of itself was a challenge, especially by the end of the week when I had a near debilitating head ache. To add insult to injury, when I went to get some water for my head the sun had come up by the time I got back and another animal was found dead. I then decided enough was enough and I went to get help from the town sheriff Bill. He wasn’t really supposed to help with mundane issues such as mine, so I decided to invite him over for dinner to propose a steak out in shifts to keep me from drifting off. The night he came I decided to cook some shreds of beef I had shoved into my refrigerator. I am not a particularly skilled chef, but I thought the sheriff was a little too dramatic with his meal. He took one bite winced for a split second and looked glumly at his plate for about a minute before announcing that the beef was underdone. I helped myself to his portion, being ravenous at the time, and found no problem with it. He made a little small talk before we got down to the brass tax, how long have I lived on the farm, how long has the house been here, questions like that. I told him what he needed to know but he still looked sick from what little of the meal he ate. So I cut to the chase and asked him to stake out with me that night as it was about the time of the week where the creature attacks the farm. The sheriff pretended to be a little apprehensive at first, but I saw he had brought his shotgun so I figured he was just angling for something I couldn’t pick up on. He sat out on the porch and I offered to bring out some beers. I came back and we sipped and sat for about an hour before I began to suspect I had undercooked dinner. My stomach began to feel as though it were a glass sphere punched with a set of brass knuckles, I curled forward bellowing in pain, stumbling to get inside and lie down. I was blacking out, I didn’t know what kind of bug had gotten into me, but whatever it was made me regret eating anything at all. Before I faded out I saw faintly the sheriff bursting back through the door, the bright white moon at his back with a look of shock at my illness, then everything went black. I woke up in the woods as I had normally done since my parents left, but this time I was in much greater pain. I must have stumbled into a briar or tree branch since there was a deep evil looking wound at my side which painted my abdomen, the ground, and my hands, a reddish brown. I shambled back to my house. Another cow had been attacked just the same as the others that had been slaughtered under my watch, only this cow had less meat on it, perhaps as the beast’s way of taunting me for being unable to capture it. The sheriff was gone. He didn’t leave a note explaining what happened but he did leave 3 beers in the pack along with his shot gun by the fridge which had been replenished somehow from last night. I kept trying to hunt down whatever was killing my cows of course, but after the sheriff left it seemed as though there was no life near my house, like to was an island in the middle of a vast empty sea. I don’t know what the sheriff told the town the night he was here, but every now and again a stay child or hiker will stumble upon my farm. But much to my dismay none of them stop and talk to me, they give me a short panicked stare and scurry back off towards town. It gets awful lonely you know, living with yourself. I can’t even really say I live with myself honestly, because my own mind doesn’t even seem to be about me half the time, leaving more questions about the world around me than it does answers. Sometimes when I lie awake at night, unable to sleep because I remember the tight chords that used to bind me to my bed and keep me from wandering off. I miss my parents even though they were distant. But really all I want is for anyone to be there with me, hold me close and tie me tight so in the morning they can tell me what happened when I can’t remember what I did.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 09:08AM by CursiveofDragon http://ift.tt/2dsPW2V shortstories

24 F4M Scarlett Johansson, your neighbour, has a rape fantasy dirtypenpals

In this roleplay, Scarlett Johansson is not a celebrity, she's a hard working, beautiful women who lives three doors down from you in the same apartment building. She is known around the town as stunningly good looking and every guy has hit on her, but she rarely has a boyfriend. You and her have been texting a lot lately despite having said but a few words to each other at a party once. The texts have gotten a little flirty lately which you have managed to not mess up by getting too sexual. After every text conversation, you masturbate in your room thinking about her. One day, you hear the familiar ding of your phone, you received a text, it's from Scarlett, it's a long one, it reads:

Come to my apartment in five minutes and rape me. It's a fantasy of mine. Just knock on the door, I'll answer it (and just so you know this isn't someone texting this to you using my phone as a joke, I'll pull my ear lobe three times when I open the door), you'll then start to feel me up and I'll bat you away, just feel me up and beg me to let you fuck me, be really needy and act like I owe you pussy. When I signal you (I'll itch below my eye with my middle finger) throw me onto my couch, tear my clothes off (LITERALLY tear them) and rape me. First, make me suck your dick, then rape my ass, then cum on my face. I'll break character and start to enjoy it once you're done with my ass and I'll gleefully gobble your cum and keep sucking after you've finished. If anything is unclear, reply to this text. DO NOT BREAK CHARACTER. Once you've cum, pull up your pants and leave. You can smack me around too if you want just no closed fists or blood. My safety word is refrigerator. Hopefully, you'll want to do this :)

Obviously, you're going to do what you're told. What a dream this is. You can properly demolish Scarlett and afterwards she'll gobble up your cum like a good girl. You knock on her apartment door. She opens it, wearing what she's wearing here. "Hey" she says "Wanna come in?" she pulls her ear lobe softly three times and smiles at you "So, what's up?" she asks.

Jump straight in, don't introduce yourself. This roleplay is first person.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 08:31AM by AGirlCalledEmma http://ift.tt/2dB9NsF dirtypenpals

TIFU by leaving a kombucha in my fridge for months.. tifu

This is actually my wife's fuck up that happened less than an hour ago.

Let me start by saying Chia seeds are one of the "foods" I despise most in this cruel world.

After spending the last (?) minutes cleaning the demon seeds up, I am finally able to have another beer on my couch.

Maybe I should rename this: TIFU by not ordering my wife to keep fermented Chia seeds out of my fucking house.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 08:49AM by HerrHamil http://ift.tt/2dBbDd4 tifu

28" Bisque GE Refrigerator - Free (Springfield Gdn, Queens) FreeStuffNYC

28" Bisque Refrigerator for free. Must purchase 30" Stove for $200.00 or best offer.

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2dlI6q9

via IFTTT

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 06:12AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2dlMOUP FreeStuffNYC

need help with new waterline, pretty sure it needs to be pex. no basement. HomeImprovement

i live in new york, the attic can easily reach freezing temperatures for days at a time. i understand that pex doesnt burst. so i want to go from under my sick which already has a collar on the cold water pipe with a 3/8 male on it, up the wall across the attic about 10 feet down the wall and out to the back of my refrigerator which also has a 3/8 male fitting on it. i have 50' of 3/8 pex but am unable to find a fitting to screw onto the 3/8 male on the collar and crimp the pex to it. i have realized this fitting does not exist, so i do not know what to do now.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 05:29AM by mikeymo0 http://ift.tt/2dmpbrs HomeImprovement

$100 to anyone in Portland that helps me figure out adding power to my van. vandwellers

So, I use to be up on how solar power works, volts, amps and watts and all that. But iv been working so much lately I dont have the time to do the research and look up what I need to know. So Ill offer $100 to any one that can help me figure out a power solution for my van. Im going to plug in this freezer and a mac book air on rare occasion. Thats about it. I just want to meet up with someone and have them show mw what to buy, where to buy it and how to hook it up. Ill give away a free photo shoot to anyone who helps me hoot it up. You can see my work at @optimistphoto on IG. Thanks again y'all.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 02:40AM by Tired_Thumb http://ift.tt/2dE5iR5 vandwellers

[M/s] The Awakening of Me and my Mom – Part 2 incest

[M/s] The Awakening of Me and my Mom – Part 2

Part 1

Part Two

I was still on Ohio time. Even so, I was zonked out when the alarm went off. 5 fucking 30 in the am. Seriously? WTF woman! You drank yourself silly last night. But she was up and in the shower. I dozed until I heard clanging in the kitchen. She came and woke me up. Told me to start getting ready. So roused myself, threw my sweat pants on and shuffled out to the kitchen in a zombie haze.

I stood in the kitchen, her hair in a towel, her wearing a short robe. I couldn't see her ass but I saw the back of her thighs as she put some bread in the toaster and got her stuff ready.

"Do you eat breakfast," she asked?

I just shook my head, drank some water and then some coffee. She smiled at that, I was drinking coffee.

"I'm going to get dressed," she said. "You should too. While I'm at work I want you to explore the city."

So, that's what I did. I wandered the city. I meandered and explored and used the bus pass as my free ticket to anyplace in the city. And I found PORN. Yes, strip joints, porn places, with those booths you shove quarters into to watch a snippet of porn. Places where you put in money and a slide goes up and women are naked behind glass. And I found my calling. Well, not really calling, but I jerked off quite a bit in the city that day. In fact, I forgot to eat lunch, and spent way too much time meandering. It was just before 7:30pm by the time I made it back to the flat and I thought I'd be in trouble.

But she wasn't there. I snuck a beer out of the fridge and drank it while I watched TV. She was home not long after that. Fell onto me with hugs apologizing for working so late. Asked me if I ate. Then almost stripped right in front of me as she talked.

She sat down on the couch, I stood and turned the TV off. She pulled off her heels, then reached up her skirt and pulled off her panty hose. While I was standing there watching. Even though I jerked off like 3 times that day inside those sticky floored sweet-rancid smelling porn booths I still got a semi while she did that. She reached up her blouse, undid her bra and pulled it off. Then she leaned back and just sighed heavily.

We talked about dinner plans. I told her I could cook that grandma taught me. But she was in the mood for Italian. So we went out. Nice dinner, wine, back to the flat. She into her 49ers Jersey and then on the couch to watch TV. The booze came out and she cuddled against me. This became the nightly routine. TV cuddles as she got drunk and passed out on the couch. Sometimes she’d get up and go into her room, sometimes she’d fall asleep on the couch only to wake up in the middle of the night and go to bed.

After a day exploring, trip to Sea World, stop for dinner, then the drive back I dozed off. While I was sleeping I had a dream of my mom in one of those porno movies I saw. I woke up with a raging erection. It was shoving out right there, pushing my pants to the limit. I looked to my mom and she smiled at me and asked me if I needed to take care of that.

"It'll be messy," I said, trying to excuse it away.

"Wow," she said. "You are lasting a bit there."

"This is my hobby," I mumbled.

And I ejaculated. I ejaculated hard and grunted like some kind of primeval caveman while I did. My body had spasms as I stared at her caressing her nipple and my dick pumped my cum out.

She laughed and put her boob back in. "I bet that's better," she said. I nodded, wiped all the cum into her pantyhose, and then put my dick back in my pants.

I did feel better. A lot better. We talked. Then the talk got serious. I had a "job" I was supposed to do.

On Monday, high school. Man, that sucked.

And my first week with my mom ended.

End Part Two

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 12:55AM by mygapanalysis http://ift.tt/2cCLk9h incest

My brother got some bad advice on steeping and it is infuriating DIY_eJuice

So I recently got into DIY juice and made some Unicorn Milk with some modifications, and after two weeks, it was incredible compared to store bought.

So I was bored last weekend and decided to make some for my brother and myself, and a guy at the vape shop told him to steep it in the refrigerator.

I have tried to find any relevant information on backing up having cold steeped juice, but I can't find a single bit of reliable information, most of it claiming what I had originally thought, where it is going to take forever to steep.

Since the fat guy that told him to do it works for a vape shop, he's taking his word over mine but he's pissing me off defending this advice.

Is there anything I can show him to get him to get the juice I made out of the refrigerator and just in a cabinet drawer? It's getting under my skin a bit.

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 12:08AM by SGTSHOOTnMISS http://ift.tt/2cLBpN9 DIY_eJuice

So Hell has a bit of a processing back-up... Jokes

and the demons are having to process the dead one by one, to confirm that they've been damned. One day, a managerial demon found three stories that required confirmation.

Story 1: I suspected that my wife was cheating on me, so when I told her I left for work, I hid in our bedroom closet with the heftiest hammer I could find. A few hours later, I heard a man enter my bedroom, so I jumped out of the closet, hammer poised to strike. When I was out, the man was gone. I looked all over the apartment for him, and eventually I found him on the balcony, hanging by his fingertips. I smash his fingertips with my hammer, but the bastard won't fall, so in a rush of adrenaline, I grab the refrigerator and toss it on top of him, dying shortly thereafter due to the strain.

The demon checks and confirms the death, and moves on to the next.

Story 2: So I'm running a con on this chick, acting like I'm her "cable guy," getting ready to steal her identity. I walk in her bedroom to check for documents, when this maniac jumps out of the closet with a hammer! So I run out and hide on his balcony, hanging by my fingers. I think I'm in the clear, when suddenly my fingers are being smashed. I manage to hold on, but only barely, until I feel a refrigerator crush me.

And so the story was processed and confirmed, and he moved on to the third.

Story 3: So I was hiding in a refrigerator...

Submitted September 29, 2016 at 12:48AM by CosmicQuasar http://ift.tt/2dlzVGC Jokes

I became a bad player, and I'm not sure what happened (minor content warning) DnD

(Stop reading if the name Helm Greycastle means anything to you)

I'm crazy about this game. I absolutely cherish all things role-playing, acting, improvising, losing oneself in the fantasy of it all. I DM two campaigns and play in a third. I just had a "bad player" moment in the one I'm a player in, and I'm not quite sure how to feel about it.

I had joined this campaign about 9 months in, so the DM threw a bunch of stuff into my character's backstory to fit him into his setting, and that included an unrequited love for an elven bard who tragically would die 4-5 sessions in. I wasn't wild about the Woman in Refrigerator trope, but I did my best to play along. I'm a soldier, after all. We deal with loss and move on.

A couple of months later, our party all ended up in individual dream scenarios, where we each tasted our own ideal futures -- for a turn -- before they were ruined. Mine, of course, was to be happily married to the elf, with a little kid playing in the yard, when suddenly a bunch of elf-hating humans break down the door, grab me, and threaten to rape the elf. We could wisdom save out of them, but as we struggled in the dreams, so our characters swung wildly in their real world.

Aaaaand that's where I became a bad player. I said "so be it, I submit to this fate." I think the whole scene just really grossed me out, and I basically decided to call the DM's bluff on the whole rape threat. The love interest was his idea that I went along with, I endured the Refrigerator stuff and was pretty glad that it was over, but bringing her back as a potential rape victim just kind of killed it all for me.

The session kind of came to a halt there -- the DM wasn't willing to accept my reaction, and the rest of the players were having fun with the dream flailing = real swinging mechanic, so I became the stick in the mud who didn't want to play along. Eventually a non-tranced party member started grappling my character, which led to a bunch of strength contests that kept us in a holding pattern until my character snapped out of it.

The DM was bluffing about the rape threat, obviously. And I made some dumb excuse about being upset about the high Wisdom DC (my character's +0) because I didn't want a very open discussion on how rapey a campaign should get.

My character still keeps a lock of Fridge lady's hair. Next session I fully plan on burning the lock to bury her forever. Hell -- that even works in RP -- a soldier as elite as I cannot let himself be so easily broken by the shadows of the past.

I know these posts usually are met with a bunch of "talk to your DMs," but I'm content to have my character burn the lock and move on. Just wanted to get it off of my chest, organize my thoughts, and maybe start a discussion on these sorts of delicate conflicts.

TL;DR: DM pushed a Fridge Woman NPC on my character, keeps parading her corpse around for awkward feels, latest one got rapey, I really didn't want to play along but feel kind of bad about it.

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 11:28PM by PM_ME_GHOST_PROOF http://ift.tt/2cLseMw DnD

Plan to pay down debt personalfinance

I'll give you guys my expenses and my pay and see if you all can help me formulate a plan

$1500 bi weekly pay

Payments/expenses $121 bi weekly for car payment $120 bi weekly for insurance $160 - 200 for phone on the first At least $50 biweekly for CC,s Roughly $150 for food biweekly Around $120 for gas biweekly $200 for rent bi weekly $1472 total monthly expenses

Debts owed Loan 1 - $8590.72 @ 4.25% Loan 2 - $3172.50 @ 17.75% CC 1 - $1713.27 of 2500 limit CC 2 - $600.00 @ 0% for the first 6 months, opened like 10 days ago to buy a replacement refrigerator of 300 limit CC 3 - $520.50 @ 10.49% of 800 limit Total debt owed $14586.54

Credit score hovers between 700 and 715 Anything helps

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 10:01PM by northerntier11 http://ift.tt/2cW0sL8 personalfinance

[Virginia, USA] How much time does a landlord have to make repairs? legaladvice

Under the Virginia Landlord tenant act, § 55-248.13, it's stated that the landlord must

"Make all repairs and do whatever is necessary to put and keep the premises in a fit and habitable condition;"
"Maintain in good and safe working order and condition all electrical, plumbing, sanitary, heating, ventilating, air-conditioning and other facilities and appliances, including elevators, supplied or required to be supplied by him"

If a major appliance goes out (such as refrigerator, washer/dryer, stove), how long after notification does the landlord have to repair or replace the item?

I'm asking for a friend. She and her roommate came home from work on Monday to find that their fridge had completely stopped working. They notified the landlord immediately and were told "having a fridge is a luxury, we'll get it fixed when we can, plenty of people don't have them". The last time they tried to reach their landlord for an emergency, the landlord didn't even acknowledge their attempts to contact for three days. Their washer/dryer has been unusable for over a month.

So now it's Wednesday, almost 48 hours since they've notified their landlord about the fridge. The technician they called said that the motor is running, but the chiller is completely shot, and is unfixable and the entire fridge needs to be replaced. They've been told by their landlord "it might get replaced on Saturday" because again, a fridge is a luxury item. In the meantime, all the food inside was ruined, and they don't have a way to keep food cold (thank goodness neither of them has any medications that need to be kept chilled).

I don't know if fridges are considered a "necessary" appliance in the legal world. I personally would consider it as necessary. I'm fairly certain that washers/dryers are not considered necessary. But the time frame on these repairs seems almost negligent. The landlord is not offering any kind of reimbursement or reduction of rent, even though use of these appliances is included as part of their rent.

TL;DR: If a major appliance goes out (specifically refrigerator), how much time after notification does the landlord reasonably have to repair or replace the item?

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 10:22PM by trashlikeyourmom http://ift.tt/2d9Ugls legaladvice

[Question] Paleo for a touring musician Paleo

Hey gang, I'm a traveling musician trying to switch back to Paleo. I'm usually on the road 8 months a year, different city every night. I'm finding great difficulty in making it fit within my work schedule. I've done Paleo in the past (before I traveled so much) and I really enjoyed it and I felt great. After two years of McDonald's and Taco Bell I just can't do it anymore. I'm pretty sure I know what to eat and I have plenty of recipes for home use but I'm struggling to apply it to the road. My day usually starts around 9 am in a cheap motel (sometimes a microwave, usually a sink and a refrigerator), then an 8-10 hour drive, load in, sound check, maybe time for a quick meal, then show, merch, load out and drive to the next Super 8. All that usually ends around 4 am. We try to schedule grocery store runs once or twice a week. We aren't rolling in money (big dreams) so restaurants are usually as cheap as we can find, often dollar menus. Canned fish, lunch meat, nuts (expensive in some parts), gas station produce and McDonald's salads seem to be my only choices. I have a cooler, but with 9 people in the van the piles of coolers gets crazy. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 08:32PM by VonSausage http://ift.tt/2drkOB6 Paleo

Is your refrigerator running? videos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YmYuR7Tg9I

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 05:19PM by johnibizu http://ift.tt/2cC4dcf videos

Win a New Refrigerator and a Fridge Fresh unit!! {US} (10/02/2016) giveaways

http://wshe.es/cvq454qv

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 01:17PM by lefty2211 http://ift.tt/2d3rcLP giveaways

Ophelia's Search for Love creepypasta

Here is a Creepypasta that I wrote. Give it a vote up and show your support! Thanks! ☺

“’Ophelia’s Search for Love’ This is not a chain letter; this is a warning. If you want to avoid a terrible and gruesome death tonight, you will forward this email to no more and no less than 25 people. If you neglect to do so, Ophelia, who is an evil entity, will come to you while you sleep tonight, and slowly kill you in such a gruesome way…”

Bruce shook his head and deleted the annoying chain letter. He pondered why people even bother sending out those emails. They were such a nuisance. Bruce then shut off his laptop and placed it on the desk in his bedroom and began getting ready for bed. He had a long day tomorrow at work, so he needed to make sure he got a good night's rest. Bruce worked as a manager at a local marketing firm and had five interviews set. He never liked interviewing people, mainly because he wasn't one to place anyone in an uncomfortable position. It was 9:45PM when Bruce finished putting on his facial moisturizer and getting into bed.

2:49AM, Bruce jumped out of bed after hearing a loud clashing sound. He heard it again, and realized it was coming from his kitchen. Bruce grabbed a baseball bat from his closet and slowly walked out of his bedroom attempting to scan all areas of his one bedroom apartment. He lived alone and did not have any pets, so he was certain there was a burglar in his apartment. As Bruce walked pass his bathroom, he saw a glowing light coming from his kitchen. He paused and continued scanning the area, but could not see any figures in the darkness. Bruce then spoke up, “Who’s there? Show yourself!” He got no response. So, Bruce cautiously made his way into his living room and switched on the light. The front door remained locked, as well as his living room window. Bruce then made his way into his kitchen and saw that his refrigerator and oven were both open. All of his cooking trays that he had in his oven were scattered on the floor. Confused, Bruce walked around his apartment again to investigate, but didn't find anyone. So, he walked back into his kitchen, shut his refrigerator, and placed his cooking trays back into his oven before heading back to bed.

3:16AM, Bruce was awoken by the sound of water running in his bathroom. Bruce quickly sat up in his bed and grabbed his baseball bat that he had left by his nightstand. Bruce aimlessly asked aloud, “Hello?” Yet again, he received no response. So, he got out of bed and made his way to his bathroom. After he turned on his bathroom light he saw that a thick crimson colored liquid was coming out of the sink faucet. He quickly shut off his faucet and looked up at his reflection in the mirror. Just then he heard a woman's voice echo from his bedroom, “Love me…” Bruce rushed into his bedroom, turned on the light… and saw no one. At this point Bruce had become frustrated and a bit unnerved at the same time. Since he was up, he decided to use the bathroom before going back to bed. As Bruce entered his bathroom, he saw writing on his mirror from the same thick crimson liquid that had poured out of his faucet, “Bruce, will you love me?” Panicked, Bruce grabbed a towel to wipe away the writing off the mirror. Just before he could wipe off the writing from the mirror, all the lights went out.

3:22AM, Bruce woke up to the sound of water running in his bathroom. He quickly jumped out of his bed and rushed into his bathroom. He immediately turned on the light and found that the sink faucet was running, so he turned it off. Bruce then glanced up at his reflection and stared in utter frustration. Perhaps he forgot to turn off the water after his nightly routine. Just then, to his amazement, that same writing slowly appeared on the mirror in front of him, “Bruce, will you love me?” Bruce stepped back in a state of fear and confusion and yelled, “Who’s there?!” No response. Just as he reached to grab a towel from his towel rack, the lights went out.

3:28AM, Bruce woke up to the sound of a woman loudly screaming as if in immense pain. He attempted to sit up in bed, but was unable to move a muscle and unable to speak. The screaming lasted for approximately one minute before silence took over. Bruce remained paralyzed and mute… The same woman's voice lightly echoed throughout his room, “Love me…” Bruce suddenly shot up from bed and flew up against the wall. Unable to defend himself from an unseen attacker, he was repeatedly thrashed around his room as if he were a ragdoll. Beginning from his breastbone, a slice began downward towards his pelvic bone. Bruce clenched his teeth and tightly shut his eyes in agonizing pain as his flesh was torn apart. Just then a woman with long black hair and fair skin appeared before him while he was pinned up against his wall bearing his organs. She lightly spoke in an eerily tone, “Bruce, will you love me?” The woman then extended her right hand towards Bruce and pulled his heart out of his chest while staring deep into his eyes.

6:30AM, Bruce woke up to the sound of his alarm clock blaring. Bruce sighed deeply as he thought, “What a nightmare.” As Bruce stared at the clock, he realized he needed to get out of bed and begin his day. He had five people to interview for one job opening. Bruce really hated interviewing people, but that was part of his job. So, after he threw some water on his face, Bruce made his way into his kitchen where he began preparing his morning coffee. After Bruce had placed in some ground coffee into his coffee maker, he headed back into his bedroom to start getting ready for work. Right as Bruce entered his bedroom a sickening sight appeared before him. On his bed was his corpse… which was sliced open from his breastbone to his pelvic bone… His heart was missing… Bruce was in sheer disbelief by what he saw. Suddenly Bruce heard that same haunting voice again, “Bruce, will you love me?”

Author: Sandra Martinez

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 11:48AM by SyCreations http://ift.tt/2djdRAl creepypasta

Win a New Refrigerator and a Fridge Fresh unit!! {US} (10/02/2016) giveaways

http://wshe.es/cvq454qv

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 01:17PM by lefty2211 http://ift.tt/2d3rcLP giveaways

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Why yes, my refrigerator IS running. gifs

http://ift.tt/2cBuUhh

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 09:38AM by joemoedee http://ift.tt/2djeTZo gifs

Norcold RV Refrigerators, Parts, and Free Troubleshooting! GoRVing

http://ift.tt/2dqANyL

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 06:02AM by G_tuit13 http://ift.tt/2d2a3So GoRVing

Roasted chicken, tomato and cheese crepes recipes

Ingredients:

For the dough:

10 g of unsalted butter
80 g pastry flour
1 pinch of salt
a little thyme or rosemary
2 eggs L
120 ml of milk
butter or oil to grease

For the filling:

chopped leftover roasted chicken
2 slightly ripe tomatoes
grated cheese
oregano
black pepper
extra virgin olive oil
salt

Instructions:

Melt the butter and let cool slightly. Or have flour in medium bowl, add a pinch of salt, thyme and rosemary and mix with a whisk. Form a gap and add the lightly beaten eggs, milk and butter. Mix well until a smooth dough liquid.
Cover with plastic wrap and let stand about 20 minutes in the refrigerator. Grease a nonstick skillet or griddle good with butter or oil and heat. Add scoops of dough, turning the pan to spread it well and leave thin crêpes, or thickness like. Cook a couple of minutes on each side over medium heat. Remove to a plate and repeat with the remaining dough.
To form the crêpes, spread on half of each unit a few thin slices of tomato, roast chicken meat shredded and grated Emmental cheese. Add salt, pepper and oregano and a little extra virgin olive oil. Close half and heat a little so that the cheese melts slightly.

Full recipe here: http://ift.tt/2d4WwNf

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 05:25AM by ReciKia http://ift.tt/2dqAQuo recipes

Norcold RV Refrigerators, Parts, and Free Troubleshooting! GoRVing

http://ift.tt/2dqANyL

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 06:02AM by G_tuit13 http://ift.tt/2d2a3So GoRVing

GRILLED CITRUS SALMON WITH ASPARAGUS recipes

Servings: 2 2 salmon fillets ¼ cup olive oil Salt, to taste Pepper, to taste 3 lemons (1 juiced, 2 sliced) 2 cloves garlic, minced 3 sprigs rosemary (1 for marinade, 2 for grilling) 1 sprig thyme 1 pound asparagus Garnish: Parsley

PREPARATION 1. In a resealable bag or dish, add salmon, olive oil, salt, pepper, juice of one lemon, minced garlic, one thyme sprig, and one rosemary sprig. 2. Seal, mix marinade around, being careful not to bruise the fish, and allow to marinate in the refrigerator for at least one hour. 3. Preheat only half of the grill to medium-high heat for indirect grilling. 4. Slice the two remaining lemons horizontally, so that you get six slices of lemon from each one, excluding the top and bottom. 5. Bend each piece of asparagus until the woody end snaps off and discard it. 6. Oil the grill with olive oil and place lemon slices over indirect heat (the side of the grill where the burners are not on). 7. Lay salmon on top of the lemon slices and top with a sprig of rosemary on each fillet. 8. Close the cover and grill for 20 minutes. 9. Place the asparagus spears on the grill and brush with olive oil. Grill for 5 additional minutes. 10. Enjoy!

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 03:54AM by andrewonmiitomo http://ift.tt/2digFxn recipes

"Excuse me Sir, is your refrigerator running?" x-post r/WTF funny

http://ift.tt/2d33P85

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 03:20AM by axr862 http://ift.tt/2dicySg funny

Wanted free refrigerator for family in need (Brentwood li) FreeStuffNYC

Hi, I am posting in hopes someone might have an old fridge that works, doesn't have to be nice just works well enough to keep food fresh. Family with six young children , the mom is very hard working however has not had a fridge for a while and strug [...]

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2dxBq63

via IFTTT

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 03:17AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2cTMpFJ FreeStuffNYC

"Excuse me Sir, is your refrigerator running?" x-post r/WTF funny

http://ift.tt/2d33P85

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 03:20AM by axr862 http://ift.tt/2dicySg funny

Deadline:September 30th If anyone is looking for an apartment near East End 77011 inner 610 loop, inbox me for further details. It's a duplex style(Only 2nd floor available for rent) 2 bedrooms, 1 bathroom and a living room/kitchen with a refrigerator and electric stove. Electric/water bills paid houston

http://ift.tt/2d7zwej

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 03:02AM by quicklookout http://ift.tt/2cJcIRm houston

Le ghost of failure past shittynosleep

I opened a new tab and clicked absentmindedly while thinking of where next to take my nosleep , it was about cults and shit, it was just starting to get good. I stood up from my desk and walked over to my personal refrigerator, and removed a code red mountain dew, when it hit me, the overwhelming sense of melancholic nonfulfillment, I turned to locate the source, and before me, atop my bed, was a ghost.

The ghost bore resemblance to David Bowie with his mullet, "You're an idiot op, wtf r u doing man?" The ghost Bowie wailed plaintively , "Stfu scrub, ghosts ain't real, who are you?" I retorted. "I'm your personal ghost of failure past, you dun fucked up again, and you know what you did!" Bowie stated matter of fact, "Hogwash, fight me, cowardly spirit!" I bellowed , and dealt him a spinning back kick to the stomach, and bowed to show respect for my felled opponent. He flew through the wall , whilst calling "You'll regret that in the FUTURE!" .

As he said that last bit about the future, an unstoppable wave of aging and disability overtook me, and I was shown images of how feeble I would become, "Ugh, this code red is cursed, I turned to place the cursed drink back into the refrigerator, but when I turned, before me was another ghastly being, not two feet away. I jumped back , brandishing the drink like a sword, the visage was... Robocop! "Le robocop, what are you doing out of the fictional universe?! I asked, incredulous at this newest specter.

"It is my prime directive to inform you that you're fucking up if you continue your current course, I am your ghost of future failure." He informed me in his robotic monotonous droning, "bollocks, robocop, you can't be so vague, how am I to heed your advice?!" I complained, "You know, you know!" He said, "GRRRRRRAAAH!" I let loose a manly bellow, and punted him with a golf swing like motion using the drink as my club, robocop flew up without a sound.

"Finally!" I put the cursed drink back, and turned to my computer , "Well well well, you've certainly put on the pounds." My voice spoke to me, MY voice, from the computer. I ran up to the computer, and in a small window was me, "But, you're the same weight as me!!!" I screamed at myself, "Shut your face and think you faggot, I am the ghost of failure NOW! What are you missing, don't you remember what happened last time you left a story you were writing on Reddit?! " Computer me said, I remembered.... "No...no....no...n.... nonononono!!!" I cried out "Yesyesyesyesyesyesyes...." Computer me spoke back as his window faded into oblivion.

I shakely navigated my mouse up to to tab bar, and clicked on my Reddit nosleep story tag.... And the page automatically refreshed as soon as I opened the tab, destroying my story... 25 paragraphs, no backup.... I turned off the computer, and crawled into the corner.

All that you love, will be carried away.

Submitted September 28, 2016 at 01:21AM by Death8778 http://ift.tt/2dAChpc shittynosleep

Whirlpool refrigerator not cooking but freezer works appliancerepair

Whirlpool model wrt138fzdb00

The top freezer part works fine and is cold how it's supposed to be but the problem is the bottom fridge part won't cool after a while. We opened the top part of the freezer and cleaned out a bunch of ice one day and it was working sort of fine but then a few days later it stopped cooling the bottom fridge part again. Any help would be appreciated.

Submitted September 27, 2016 at 11:53PM by Vally1 http://ift.tt/2d4eEqI appliancerepair

FREE REFRIGERATOR and STOVE FreeStuffNYC

Old, but in decent condition. They do need a thorough cleaning. You are responsible for picking up. Please note, you may have to remove the door from the fridge and stove to get it through the apartment door, SO BRING TOOLS!

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2d0Uiv2

via IFTTT

Submitted September 27, 2016 at 10:17PM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2cAFHZd FreeStuffNYC

Free Taste! Jokes

A man set up a small booth in the mall to advertise. He had a refrigerator and a table with food in the booth. A woman passes by the booth. the man calls out to her: "free taste maam! Would you like to try some?" The woman eats some of the food. Woman: Ew! This tastes like its spoiled! Man: It is! The food here was not refrigerated that's why its spoiled. To prevent further spoiling of food, we could use my product: this brand new refrigerator!

P.s. this is an old joke from my country and i had a difficult time translating it.

Submitted September 27, 2016 at 09:22PM by pacoduii http://ift.tt/2dwKdVP Jokes

"Hey, is your refrigerator running?" funny

http://ift.tt/2doUWBn

Submitted September 27, 2016 at 08:20PM by SrGhSrGh http://ift.tt/2d6Hi8g funny

Free Taste! Jokes

P.s. this is an old joke from my country and i had a difficult time translating it.

Submitted September 27, 2016 at 09:22PM by pacoduii http://ift.tt/2dwKdVP Jokes

Tired of Wimpy "Standard" Refrigerator Magnets, I Made Two Using Powerful Neodymium Magnets Instead somethingimade

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6QwZOuCbFw

Submitted September 27, 2016 at 06:31PM by forgerforager http://ift.tt/2cI6scs somethingimade

There are 12 stairs nosleep

Part one

I had some questions as to why I did the big jump from day 2 to day 116 in my first post. My days were the same daily. I only wrote a few day entries, and I would mostly write prayers, and letters to my babies and husband. I wanted to tell my story from the time I was captured, to when I escaped; to me they are what are most important. The following is from after my escape, I wrote in a personal diary per the instruction of my therapist.

Day 121

The moon light has been shinning through my small window for quite some time now. I hear nothing but my slow and steady breath. Usually I can hear faint thudding, tonight I hear nothing so I know he is either asleep of gone. I get up from my bed (or lack thereof) and head to the first step. Up goes my right foot, I plant it softly on the step, it makes no sound. The second step, the third, fourth, fifth, sixth step. It is when I touch the seventh step, it starts to creak. I freeze. I wait for what must have been 10 to 15 minutes making sure the door doesn’t burst open again. I start walking up. Eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh…

I pray for courage, I pay for the fight in me to take over so I can enable my flight. I stare at the doorknob as if it’s going to turn on its own. The twelfth step. I touch the door knob and it was cold. I turned it and it turned effortlessly, with a deep breath I opened it, not sure of what awaited me on the other side. It was a closet. The smell of moth balls overwhelmed my senses and I took the first step outside of my prison. Carpet never felt so good. I stood there embracing the feel of the soft cloud on my calloused feet. There were jackets hanging in the closet, making it hard to move without causing the hangers to move and make noise. I felt my way to the closet door. Another doorknob. This one was harder to turn. It felt as it was meant to be locked but the actual latch teetered between being locked and not. With a turn of the handled it was open.

The door opened to a dark hallway, with two directions to go; left or right. I went right. I walked on darkness for what seemed like forever. At last I came to another room; the kitchen. I could tell it was used even though the appliances looked brand new. There were dishes in the sink and the smell of cooked meat loaf lingered in the air. I was trapped in the basement of another home? Not uncommon, but I was still shocked. This whole time I was thinking I was in a cellar or basement of an abandoned home and not the same place where this creature lived. There was a small nightlight to the left of the counter, illuminating a door to the outside. I sprinted toward the door, touched the handle and stopped dead in my tracks. What if the house had an alarm? What if it was engaged and would go off as soon as I opened the door? I had to be careful.

I turned around to go find another way out, an open window or proof that there is no alarm. I made it to the living room. The furniture was new; it still had that new smell to it. I started looking around. He had pictures hanging on the walls and on the mantle. “Must be his other victims.” I thought sarcastically. A car drove by on the street outside making the living room glow with light, I caught glimpse of one the pictures. He had a family? It was a candid snap shot of him and a young child kneeling down looking at some sea shells on the beach. The shot was taken over head so I couldn’t see either of their faces. I looked at the other pictures. I knew these people. I knew them, but couldn't place them in my jumbled mind. Looking around the living room I realized this was very similar to my house. The furniture was different, the carpet was new but this house was very similar.

Assuming this house had the same layout, I made my way to the master bedroom. The door was open. I tiptoed in and there he was sleeping peacefully, my captor, my abuser, my husband Levi. Next to him was another woman. Her long brown hair flowed over what used to be my pillow. Her hand on the chest of the man I loved so much. Laying on the night stand was the infamous ski mask he would wear when he would come to me. I stood there for what seemed forever. I was frozen. So many thoughts flooded my brain. Why? Why did he do this to me? Where were my children? I made my way to what I remember being their room. It was empty. There were only 4 boxes marked “Mommy’s things.” There was only one other room that was suitable to house two boys, and that was the office on the other side of the house. I made my way down the hall. I then heard the alarm clock on his phone start going off. I paused. Knowing Levi, he would hit the snooze button three or four times, but then again, I didn’t really know him at all, did I? I still made my way to the office trying to be as quiet as I could be. I opened the door to the office, my heart stopped. There were my babies, sleeping. I made my way in.

Then I heard Levi in the kitchen starting the coffee as he did every morning when I was free. I then heard it; the sound of cereal being poured into a glass bowl. I peeked around the corner and he was bent over grabbing an apple from the refrigerator. I dashed towards the closet that I was hidden within. I hid on the opposite side of the cellar door behind a large winter coat, still leaving me a visible view of the door. Levi then opened the door, with that damned cereal bowl in hand, and the glass of water in the other. He placed them gently on the ground, reached into his back pocket of his sweats, and grabbed the ski mask. He then made his way in the closet closing the door behind him turning on the small light that was in there. I stopped breathing. He then opened the cellar door, paused and started to stroke himself, readying himself for his daily pleasure of entering me without my consent. My eyes filled with tears. He made his way down the stairs.

I counted 12 stairs. When I heard the thud of his foot hit the last step, I snapped. I quickly closed the door to the cellar, pulling coats off their hangers, boxes from the top self, grabbing whatever was in there to pile up against the door. I exited the closet door to where the alarm pad used to be. It was still there. I hit the panic button which sends a silent alert to the security company to alert the police. I ran to the living room, opened the front door and made my way out to the shed out back where I hid till the police came. Once I knew they were there, I came out. My son’s were in wrapped in blankets sitting the front porch with her. I started to approach them when a police man stopped me.

“Who are you?” He asked

“My name is Allyson Rhodeson and I have been held captive in the basement of this house for 122 days. My captor is still trapped in the cellar.” I told him. He looked at me like I was crazy and told me to wait while he ran my name. Sure enough, I was reported missing. I gave him instructions on how to find the cellar. An EMT showed up and I was immediately placed in there and tended to.

I saw my husband leave the house in cuffs. He had no expression on his face. He locked eyes with me, and smiled. That smile was evil. It took me some time to recover. My boys were placed in care of my parents while I received treatment for my wounds; both physically and mentally. I still have no answer why he did this to me, his wife, and the mother of his children. According to his mother, he confessed to keeping me captive. The reason being is unknown. He admitted to wanting to kill me, but he couldn’t do it, his guilty conscience took over and for the past month before I escaped, he purposely left the door unlocked, in hopes I would escape so he wouldn’t be driven to finally kill me. The house has since been sold to someone else. I don’t know what happened to the cellar. All I do know is the steps that led down there, were demolished.

Submitted September 27, 2016 at 06:30PM by rheadark http://ift.tt/2dgMoiG nosleep