I'm 28 years old and I feel like I'm in my 70s. Nothing brings me joy anymore. Everyday feels the same. It almost feel as if I am drowning. It's hard to get out of bed or give a shit really. I have felt this way since I was 16. People always said it would get better. Well I don't believe it anymore. My 20s have have almost past me and I have nothing to show for it. There is no light at the end of this tunnel. There is no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow. All I feel is apathy anymore. I tried everything, from volunteering at a homeless shelter and a free health care clinic. I eat super healthy and work out 6 days a week. And I still feel so weak and tired. I even tried to find comfort in alcohol. Nothing makes me feel better. I tried taking medication and I tried talking to my friends and family. I also talked to doctor about it and they all said just give it time and it will get better. How long must I wait. Everyday feels like a chore. I'm sick of jumping through hoops. I don't really even know why I am writing this. I just finished packing all my things into boxes. I cleaned out my refrigerator and vacuumed and mopped my house. I changed the oil in my car and filled it up full of gas. I withdrew most of the money from my bank accounts and put the money in an envelope on my kitchen table. It should be enough to cover my death and more. I have written notes for my mother and all of my friends telling them how very sorry I am, telling them what I love about them and thanking them for all they have done for me. They are the only reason I lasted this long. I bought a .308 Winchester. I cleaned it four or five times now. Its the first gun I have ever owned and its the first time in a long time where I feel free. It's finally over. I wish you all the best.
Submitted March 30, 2016 at 09:13AM by Redline103 http://ift.tt/25vsQKn SuicideWatch
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