Or, at least, tolerance? My 1-year old is driving me insane with it and always has. I "like" breastfeeding about 50% of the time. The other half, I find it intolerable and fantasize about throwing him down on the bed and taking my boobs into the closet, shutting the door, and sleeping for 7 weeks.
Things that suck: - he's crazy demanding and always has been. I was flabbergasted that to learn that some people feed on a schedule when he was younger because... he was always nursing. Always. Until he was 4 months old, he was on my boob at least 75% of each 24-hour period and that’s no exaggeration. 2 1/2 hour sessions were normal for him. All 3 LCs I saw said nothing wrong, he just wanted it. - He pulls off constantly to check out everything around him. A noise 3 blocks away? Let's see what it was. SINCE HE WAS 2 MONTHS OLD. It's been a long 11 months. - He's big. Real big. 98th percentile for weight. We meet 4-year olds at the park that he weighs more than. He eats a fuck ton of food and a fuck ton of milk. - Flip. Flop. Flip. Flop. How many times does he demand to change sides per "session" (really, though, what is that and who am I kidding? Each time I'm in the vicinity, he's yanking on my shirt)... MINIMUM of 20. For the last 4 months. - Whichever boob he's not flopped towards, he's diddling the other nipple. GOD DAMN IT I AM SICK OF THE NIPPLE SENSITIVITY. He is fucking sucking the life out of me and either "tickling" or scratching me to death on the other side. I seriously hate it. I cover it. He yanks my hand off. Both of my hands are bloody because, of course, he also will not let me cut his nails. Cutting them while he's sleeping, as most people apparently do, is not possible. I've tried this a few times and he wakes up immediately regardless of where he's at in the sleep cycle. It's a hellish experience to try to get him back to sleep then.
Before you say it, yes: - His latch is fine and always has been, as certified by 3 LCs. - I've tried a nursing necklace. I've tried another necklace. I've tried yet a third nursing necklace. He doesn't give a fuck. - Dark, quiet room with "no stimulation"? DOESN'T MATTER. All the same shit. Everything is stimulation to him. - Quit nursing? The boy says Nope. Nope. Nope. Deny him once, for 30 seconds, he's OFF. THE. HANDLE. - He has a dairy intolerance. I've been on a diet free of dairy (and wheat, soy, eggs, chocolate, and peanuts, just in case, for 9 months). - He drinks refrigerator milk, my milk, food, all the things... and has since he was 6 months. It's no "growth spurt" blah blah blah. God damn he is demanding. - We nightweaned him. He still wakes up an median of 5 times a night. Key word there is median. A significant portion of the month, it's 8, 9, 10, 13 times a night (yes, still). He has been medically cleared by his pediatrician, a GI specialist, and a neurologist. - I've tried denying him the flip-flopping... many times, at many points through the day. He is SO. STRONG. It literally takes all my strength to contain him.. and I'm not a weakling. It's just one form of exhaustion or another. - He'll take almond and coconut milk and drink it for fun. I've tried to give it to him instead of me but yeah, nope. That's a big fat nope from him. He drinks the other milk, then gets on the boob.
I'm just really tired of this shit. As a newborn, everyone says, "Oh, breastfeeding gets easier!"
No. It doesn't. I am really, really sick of his shit. Seriously, son, just get your fucking milk and be on your way. I'll keep holding you if you want, but you rarely want that anymore unless you're getting in position to try to rip my face off. Don't diddle me. Don't insist on fucking change sides one thousand times in four minutes. I want to keep going because it's best for him and I just do for a variety of other reasons that I don't want to type out because this post is already too long. Please help me find some kind of satisfaction and joy in the actual process of giving him this sustenance because right now, I dread it.
I know they say "breastfeeding has to work for both mother and baby" and it does work for me, half the time. The other half... it's this.
Submitted February 14, 2016 at 07:00AM by ghost1667 http://ift.tt/1O8ReVA breastfeeding
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