A week or so ago I read a writing prompt which suggested writing a biography of a character whose life starts relatively normally but which gets more unlikely as their life progresses. I couldn't find the original prompt and so I am posting it here
Born in 1911, Robert Falchion grew up through the shadow of the Great War. He attended Juningberry High before studying electrical engineering at Manchester polytechnic, graduating in 1931. He married his high-school sweetheart, Frida, in 1932, and in the summer of that year they had their first son, Robert Jr., named for his father. Following his graduation from University, and marriage to his dear wife, Robert started work as a researcher for Jameson Electric. It was at Jameson that Robert devised ways of using to electricity to keep things both hot and cold; technology which go on to provide the basis for what we now know as refrigerators and microwaves. Following the moderate acclaim brought about by these inventions, in 1935, Robert was head-hunted by the state-owned Soviet power company, Atomovisk, and offered the opportunity to become the head of their Research and Development department. In order to better provide for his young family, Robert accepted the job offer and he, Frida and Robert Jr. moved to the small and idyllic Russian town of Obninsk, overlooked by the Atomovisk facility.
Behind the heavy iron gates and windowless walls Robert was tasked with developing methods of producing electricity from nuclear material. At this time nuclear power was a new and exciting field, and Robert was at its forefront. After just one year at the facility, Robert was able to meet all of the facilities energy needs through electricity produced by his research. A month later and the facility provided nuclear power for the entire town of Obninsk.
Two years after arriving in Russia, Robert’s accomplishments had caught the eye of the Soviet government. With war in Europe looming once again, Falchion was visited by several Soviet officials who turned his talents towards more military matters. Having devised ways of producing electricity from nuclear material, Falchion was tasked with the production of electrical and nuclear weapons for the Soviet army. For the next three years Robert produced a number of prototypes, eventually producing a working weapon, capable of firing a concentrated beam of electricity, the energy for which was produced by a nuclear fusion reaction housed within a backpack worn by the user.
Following the breakout of hostilities between Soviet Russia and Nazi Germany, Falchion’s guns, christened Falchiova by the Soviet propagandists, were first deployed in 1941 in the battle of Kiev. Immediately successful, the use of the falchiova by Soviet forces was widely believed to be responsible for turning not just the tide of the battle, but of the war itself. Following the full surrender of German forces, and the annexation of much of Europe by the Soviet Union, Robert was awarded the Order of Labour Glory, First class, the highest honour awarded to civilians by the Soviet Union. The medal was presented to Robert by Stalin himself in a ceremony held in Berlin in September of 1941. It was on this night that Robert Falchion made the acquaintance of one Igor Grouzenko, then Marshall Commissar of the Soviet forces. Owing his success in the war to Falchion's electric guns, Robert and Grouzenko struck up a friendship.
Following the war, Falchion was stationed back in the facility in Obninsk. After the success of his electrical rifles, he was given free rein to work on any and all projects he deemed fit. He began work on smaller, more powerful falchiova, as well as a more devastating device which would later become known as Falchiomba. Falchiomba were enormous shells, fired by purpose built artillery. Upon detonation the energy produced by a small fission reaction inside the warhead would harness the latent electrical charge of regular air particles. Spreading like a vast lightning storm from its epicenter, a chain reaction would spread a lethal electrical charge through the air over a diameter of up to 15 miles.
During these post-war years Robert had maintained a correspondence with Igor Grouzenko. Over time, it became clear to the men that they were both dissatisfied with Stalin’s Soviet Union. They both saw it for what it was, greedy and corrupt, and they both sought change. Talk turned to revolution, and upon hearing of Falchion’s new electrical weapons, Grouzenko pledged him the allegiance of large swathes of the Soviet army. Grouzenko was able to secretly produce Robert's Falchiomba artillery in various strategic locations around Soviet Russia, and forces loyal to Grouzenko were armed with Falchion’s improved Falchiova. On the morning of the 5th of May 1946, an envoy was sent to Stalin’s residence delivering to him the proposed terms of his surrender. Stalin refused these terms, and later that morning the first falchiomba used in combat was launched upon his Stalingrad residence. Stalin, along with his household guard, and everyone within a 15 mile diameter were electrocuted to death. Over the next week, four more falchiomba were used across Russia against forces who remained loyal to Stalin, until those that remained pledged their allegiance to Grouzenko and Falchion.
With the coup successful and the Soviet empire now in their hands, Grouzenko turned his hand towards policy changes within Stalin’s system, while Falchion continued his electro-nuclear research. For a time the New Russian Empire prospered under its joint leaders, until Grouzenko, fearful of the power of Falchion's machines, showed his true colours with an attempt on Falchion’s life. Seeking sole power for himself, Grouzenko sent 150 his best men to Falchion’s palace in the dead of night with orders to murder Falchion in his sleep, which he planned to explain as the acts of Stalinist rebels. Falchion was woken by the sound of guns, and the electrical cracks of falchiovas in the grounds of his palace. He was able to able to escape from a window to his workshop, where upon he equipped himself within his newest research project, the Falchbak. A nuclear powered mechanical body suit which stood roughly nine feet tall, the falchbak provided a man with electrically powered mechanical limbs, and an array of falchiova mounted on its shoulders. Protected within the metal casing of the falchbak, Robert Falchion fought bravely against the intruders, electrocuting to death many of the one hundred and fifty men who had entered the grounds. Seeking out Grouzenko, he walked, still clad within his falchbak, through the streets of Grouzenglad to the military base where Grouzenko was stationed. Falchion fought and killed by various means many of the two thousand or so of Grouzenko’s men who were stationed at the base, before finding Grouzenko and taking him as his prisoner.
Grouzenko, unrelenting in his traitorousness, was kept captive by Falchion for several weeks while he finalised his latest electrical apparatus, with which he planned to expose Grouzenko’s treachery. After a time, the Falchvidenya was complete. Using a technology similar to that of the falchiomba but non-destructive in nature, the falchvidenya also utilised the latent electrical charge of the particles in the air, manipulating them to display moving pictures and sounds on vast scales, two miles in the air and one mile across. Entire cities watched and listened as Grouzenko admitted his crimes. His image projected into the skies above them, Grouzenko talked of his treachery, of plotting to murder our Great and True Lord Falchion, as well as his secret heinous desires for the flesh of the innocent and of those no longer living.
Grouzenko’s confessions, as well as his execution by electric firing squad were seen by not only those of the New Falchonian Empire; but through the use of long-range falchvidenya, the confessions were projected over the capitals of the treacherous pig countries who had not yet seen fit to offer allegiance to Our One and Only True Lord Falchion.
Following this projection over their capitals, several of the least backwards nations, most notably the USA, The Anglo-Franco Alliance, China and the South American Coalition declared immediate war upon our great and powerful nation, seeing this intrusion into their skies as an act of hostility. Other countries, fearful of Falchonia’s advanced technology declared immediate allegiance to Our Just and Almighty Lord Falchion. For not having declared allegiance sooner, these spineless nations were given the punishment of the execution of just 60% of their population by electrocution by falchiomba. For those countries who had declared war upon our righteous empire, Our Great Lord Falchion, Defender of Freedom and Liberty decreed that the punishment would be 97% execution by electrocution by falchiomba. In order to enact the punishments, Our Great Lord, Supreme Commander Falchion, Whom We all Dearly Love designed his masterpiece, the Falchollosus. A terrifying weapon of destruction, The falchollosus stood 150 feet high 250 feet long. Resembling a giant and terrifying mechanical dog, this colossal metallic beast was able to rear up on its rear quarters, revealing on its chest an array of both short and long range falchiomba capable of liberating entire cities of the sinful filth that would stand against our noble and righteous cause. Defended from ground attack by electrified surfaces, the falchollosus also carried a new technology, the Falchsila, an electrical field which sheathed it within in a blue and crackling glow, through which enemy projectiles could not pass.
Our Great and True and Noble Lord, the Light of Our Lives bravely lead the charge against the hordes of sinful demons who sought to overthrow all that is good and right in the world with their wicked deeds. The falchollosus, piloted by Our One Hope, Our Single Salvation against Those That Would Harm Us, Lord Commander Falchion Whom We All Love With All Our Hearts, strode across the wicked world, from city to city, from army to army, across seas and continents, for seven years making good that which was bad, finding truth in lies and casting to fire and hell those who would sin against the free and right people of the world. Praises Be Upon His Name, the Highest of High, the Mightiest of Mighty, Love of our Lives, Rightful Ruler of all the Lands and Seas, Supreme Lord Falchion Astride His Terrifying Falchollosus, He Whom hath Brought Heaven to us on Falchearthia.
Submitted April 30, 2015 at 09:50AM by iwishihadnobones http://ift.tt/1QMB0Xx shortstories
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