Wednesday, May 31, 2017

What's the best way to defrost a 1 year old frozen cake? Cooking

My 1 year anniversary is next week so my wife and I are very excited to pull the anniversary cake out of the freezer. What is the best way to defrost it? I'm worried about the time frame to defrost so that it can be ready for a dinner I'm planning for the wife. It's been sitting at the top of the freezer of our refrigerator (not a deep freezer). I don't think it was preserved correctly either but I'm going to hope for the best.



Submitted June 01, 2017 at 07:54AM by Pacattack57 http://ift.tt/2rdjkyL Cooking

Recipe advice cider

I just wrapped up a batch of cider for my wife after she went through a 1/6 keg of Angry Orchard in just 4 weeks. I've done kits before but this is my first try at "from scratch". Here's the details on what I did:

Started fermentation May 7th, OG 1.07

  • 6 cans apple juice concentrate
  • 1 64 oz. cider
  • 1 gallon distilled water
  • 1 tsp pectin
  • .5 tsp acid blend
  • .5 pack Nottingham Ale yeast

FG on May 22nd, 1.01 and added:

  • 2 campden tablets
  • 2 tsp. pottasium sorbate
  • Placed in refrigerator until May 31st.

Mixed in at kegging:

  • 1 can apple juice concentrate
  • 1 can apple cherry juice concentrate
  • 1/8 cup Splenda (she likes it sweet!)

I ended up wit a tiny bit over 2 gallons and kegged this in a corny until she runs out of Angry Orchard in the next day or two. I calculate this to cost me around $20 for the 2 gallons and need to scale up to a 5 gallon recipe if she likes it. Any suggestions on changes? Is an OG of 1.07 too high considering the slight dilution of the backsweeteners at the end? How do I calculate ABV for this batch?



Submitted June 01, 2017 at 07:20AM by dragontville http://ift.tt/2rlKd1R cider

Dear, Everyone under six foot. The top of your refrigerator is dirty. Love, Everyone over six foot. Showerthoughts

No text found

Submitted June 01, 2017 at 05:54AM by beyzi3 http://ift.tt/2sfDXc5 Showerthoughts

The Bottoms [Part 2] nosleep

Part 1

By the time I entered high school, I was completely convinced that there was something eerie with our area. While the only thing that had happened while I'd been alive was my own venturing toward that forbidden area, I was certain that the neighborhood was haunted or cursed or something. I could only convince one other teenager of this and he had already believed it the same as me.

Marcus was only a year younger than me. He lived on the other end on Dead Man's Curb about two houses down from the small house with the well. He used to tell me how he always got the creeps just walking past the place to the point that he'd go to the other side of the road and run past it. Then there was my older cousin, Scott, who was about two years older than Chris, so he was already out of high school. The three of us, lead by me... the far more morbidly curious and eager among us, decided to launch an investigation.

Marcus came up with the first idea we decided to ride on. Interviewing the oldest people in the neighborhood. Seemed simple really, but my mind was focused on The Bottoms and why me and Chris and that girl had gotten up in the middle of the night to walk down there.

We went around trying to confirm the old stories and maybe see if we could pry out any new information, especially names. The internet may have been new to us at the time but we knew we could go through old local news articles on it. Alas, nothing ever substantial came to light.

The only new information we got was from Mrs. Gable, 92 years old at the time. She told us that the murder suicide with the well happened sometime after the Watergate scandal. She also told us that the old man in the two story house didn't just die one day from old age or liver failure or something like that. According to her, he had hung himself. I didn't bother with what this new information would imply with the man's dog having ate part of his body. She was, however, sure to reaffirm that every now and then you can still hear the old man going into a fit of wild anger in the house. Of course... So, we went with Scott's idea next... we decided to break into the house.

We all snuck out the next night and Scott brought a tool box so we could break in through the back door. Really, all we needed was a crowbar. Once inside, a smell slapped our senses so hard that Marcus and I started to gag. It was a mixture of that old musty smell in any old home, mold, and something else we couldn't quite place. We turned our flashlights on and took a look around, covering our mouths and noses.

The place was an absolute wreck. We were in a dining room that was connected to a kitchen and a bathroom. The floor boards leading into the bathroom were all torn up and scattered. The refrigerator seemed out of place and the freezer door was torn off, exposing the what was once frozen food now coated in black mold. There were broken trinkets all over the floor and table looked like a dust collector.

The hallway leading to the staircase and the living room looked clear, so we headed toward the living room. While I started examining the living room, looking over the furniture and the old dial operated tube television, my cousin spotted the thing that should've made us run straight out the door.

The staircase was stained with had to be blood, it looked like it had dripped all down the staircase and dried up... how could this place be left in this condition? We stood there perplexed by it. By the time Marcus got over to us, whispering and asking what was wrong, he gasped immediately once he saw. Suddenly something made of glass from upstairs fell and hauled ass out the back door and didn't even take a second to shut it back.

The next thing we did, we didn't do for another week or so. We were still pretty shook up by what we had presumed to be the ghost of the old man destroying more of his home. We eventually determined that it had to be an animal that Marcus had spooked which in turn spooked us.

The next endeavor was far more ambitious than the last, we decided to take my parent's digital camcorder, pry open the well, and see if the bodies were still down there. This was ambitious because the well was right there in the front yard... with houses on either side. Including a good view of the well from Marcus' house.

Nevertheless, we snuck back out, Scott brought his crowbar again and I brought the camcorder which I had already sealed up in a ziplock bag and plastic shrink wrap and then tied to a long yellow rope. As paranoid as we were, we were certain no one would be up at one o'clock in the morning.

We pried up two of the boards with unsurprising ease, the wood was already falling apart. I turned the camcorder on and set it to night vision. We gently lowered it down.

A minute or so had passed by before the rope slackened. We gently brought it back up and attempted to twirl the camcorder around to try to get a 360 degree view of the bottom of the well. We slowly brought it back up, making sure not to knock against the walls or one of the untouched boards.

To our dismay... water had gotten into the camcorder anyways. However, it still worked. I sheathed my hands with rubber gloves before I touched the camcorder... who knows what's really been in that water down there.

I rewinded the video and watched as it was being lowered in. The walls of the well looked like they moss or algae growing inside. It touched the water without any sign of any corpses. It apparently had sunk a bit before we started pulling it back up... once it was spinning we got a clear view of what was down there. No bodies. Just a bunch of bugs. As it was being tugged back up, the lens jerked down momentarily.

We ran as fast as we could back to Marcus' house. The thing we saw. Right there. On film. Was a foot. A decayed human foot. Bones with rotted bits of flesh dangling from it. We had gotten what we were looking for. It wasn't just some old story to creep the kids out. It happened and we had proof.

We got to Marcus' back porch and decide to look just one more time. When I tried to turn the camcorder on... nothing. It had taken too much water damage. It was gone. We had just had it. It was on film.

I would spend the next several months trying to fix that camcorder... and to my parents immeasurable displeasure... nothing ever worked.

A couple of days went by with us being angry at ourselves for not taking more precautions. But, we were now more convinced than ever that all the stories were real. We confirmed two of them already, why would all the others be completely made up? I'm sure a more rational mind could think of some reasons. But I lusted for there to be more. I wanted to believe so badly that everything else that had occurred in our little secluded neighborhood was real. These aren't just stupid stories, it's all real. Dammit... maybe if I hadn't wished or wanted so fucking badly...

It was finally my turn to come up with next course of action, so next time... we'd head straight to The Bottoms.



Submitted June 01, 2017 at 06:03AM by tealcoloredeye http://ift.tt/2sfp5KF nosleep

How To Clean Out Your Refrigerator - Summer Chores - Best How To Video o... - howto knowyourshit

http://ift.tt/2qHlhA3

Submitted June 01, 2017 at 03:41AM by Know_Your_Shit http://ift.tt/2rcvIPh knowyourshit

Need help to plan a diet around my work schedule. keto

I did follow keto when I was in school last year and I've seen great results but I haven't reached my goal yet. Now there has been a considerable gap (almost 6 months) and I've gained 20 lbs again. Since I've started my job I hardly get time to do anything after work but go to the gym. I work 7-5 on weekdays and some Saturdays. I go to the gym 6 days a week.

So what I wanted to ask is,

1). Are there any recipes that I can whip up in less than an hour? And it has to be something I can make in large quantities and store in the refrigerator to have over 2 or 3 days.

2). Are there any keto friendly snacks that I can buy or make that I can eat when I'm hungry in the middle of work?

I'm sry if these questions have been asked before. Please tag the discussion if it has.

TL;DR: Need keto friendly recipes that I can cook in under an hour and store for later.



Submitted June 01, 2017 at 03:25AM by thisndass http://ift.tt/2soqpdE keto

How To Clean Out Your Refrigerator - Summer Chores - Best How To Video o... - howto knowyourshit

http://ift.tt/2qHlhA3

Submitted June 01, 2017 at 03:41AM by Know_Your_Shit http://ift.tt/2rcvIPh knowyourshit

What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? Jokes

The fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.



Submitted June 01, 2017 at 02:55AM by peidrosantos http://ift.tt/2soxg6B Jokes

Leaving cold raw chicken on the counter before cooking AskCulinary

Is it okay to leave raw chicken thighs at room temperature 20 minutes before cooking? They stick to the pan if I cook them straight out of the refrigerator. Also, should I keep the chicken uncovered so it warms down more quickly or should I keep it in its original packaging?



Submitted June 01, 2017 at 12:43AM by backintomybliss http://ift.tt/2qCcDTY AskCulinary

Don't install cables right through the refrigerator RimWorld

All of my winter supplies burned down because my whole electrical charge exploded into my refrigerator room. Now I know where NOT to install my cables.

By the way, 4 out of 5 of my colonists died trying to put out the fire because of the heat; as the fire would return over and over again because the room was so hot.



Submitted June 01, 2017 at 01:42AM by AdalwinAmillion http://ift.tt/2sf2nCk RimWorld

Road trip or car camping? Instead of using bagged ice or ice substitutes in your cooler, freeze water bottles and pack them around your food. Your cooler stays dry and you get fresh cold drinking water. +13 cooler tips in comments. lifehacks

Benefit:

Doing this keeps your food drier since you won't have ice melting into a pool of water, and you're not wasting space with ice packs that you can't eat or drink. If you'll be staying somewhere with a freezer during your trip, save the bottles to refill and refreeze.

Bottle Choice:

Normal plastic water bottles and milk jugs won't explode when they freeze because they are built to expand. If you use a different kind of bottle, make sure you leave some air space to allow for ice expansion. Don't use glass bottles; there's a breakage risk and they're heavy. If you're buying ice, take it out of the retail bag and repack it in Ziplock bags to reduce meltwater messes. You can also freeze your own water in Ziplock bags; lay them flat in the freezer to make ice thick sheets.

Some people worry about carcinogens or other toxins from freezing or using plastic water bottles. There's no need to worry.

Cooler Prep:

  1. Wash your cooler well before use and before storage with warm, soapy water. Vinegar or a water-bleach solution can help banish smells.

  2. Make sure you pre-chill all the food before you put it in the cooler. If your food can be frozen without affecting the quality (milk, most soups, chilis, etc.) and you won't need it right away, freeze it. You can freeze juice boxes or pouches; they are designed to not burst. Don't freeze canned beverages/foods. To save space and weight, freeze your soup/chili in a freezer bag that has been placed inside a pan; leave the pan at home and put your pan-shaped bag of food in the cooler. Note that milk, cheese, and certain other foods will change texture/mouthfeel if you freeze them; read up on the freezability of your foods if you're concerned about this. Milk will have to be completely thawed before drinking.

  3. If you have a large freezer with enough room, freeze your entire cooler for a few hours before loading it. If your freezer isn't that big, you can pre-cool your cooler putting some ice in it for 6+ hours. Dump out the meltwater and dry it out, then load it up. At the very least, bring your cooler down to room temperature with the lid open if it's been stored in a hot location.

  4. If you have access to an industrial freezer (restaurant, grocer, cafeteria), freeze everything you can in that. Industrial freezer get much colder than residential freezers. It won't make a huge difference, but it does help somewhat.

Packing:

  1. For some cool drinking water at the start of your trip, freeze some half-full bottles and then fill them up with cold water just before you put them in the cooler.

  2. One large cooler will generally keep your food colder than two smaller ones, but having a separate cooler for beverages may help your perishable food stay cold longer, since there will be fewer lid openings that let hot air in. Or have a separate cooler for dairy/meat, which are more prone to spoilage.

  3. Pack related items together inside a large ziplock bag, such as condiments or sandwich ingredients, or everything you'll need for a certain meal. That way it's easier to find everything you need quickly so the cooler is open for shorter times, and the food will stay drier. Pack what you'll need first at the top of the cooler. Throw in a few extra bags to store leftovers. Foods that come in a "resealable" package will probably not stay dry if they get submerged in meltwater once they've been opened; put them in a ziplock bag.

  4. Plastic egg carrier cases work well, but they take up a lot of space even when they're almost empty. (Two small carriers is better than one large one!) A cardboard egg carton inside a plastic bag is fine as long as you're careful not to crush it, and if space is needed you can cut off the unused cells. Hard-boiled eggs can be pre-peeled and kept in a ziplock bag. If you're making scrambled eggs, pre-mix them and put them in a tight-sealing container or wide-mouth bottle. It is possible to freeze eggs too, but with some preparation. (If you live outside of the U.S., where your eggs are unwashed, you don't need to keep your unbroken eggs in the cooler unless you're somewhere really hot.)

  5. Wash and dry raw fruits and vegetables before you leave. Vegetables can usually be cut ahead of time too. Partially prepare recipes when possible.

Keeping it Cold:

  1. If you don't use frozen water bottles but opt for ice instead: draining the meltwater may be beneficial for sanitary reasons (cross contamination risk) but keeping it helps the cooler stay cold longer. Ice chips and shaved ice melt faster than block ice. Consider repacking ice into Ziplock bags when you buy it.

  2. Keep your cooler out of the sun, and don't leave it in a hot vehicle if you can safely store it somewhere else. If it does have to stay in the sun or a vehicle, cover it with a blanket, towel, sleeping bag, or shade it with a tarp or reflective emergency blanket. (If you're camping, don't leave your cooler in your tent or outside. Hungry animals and/or people will show up.) If you cover it with a dampened towel, evaporative cooling will help too.

  3. Keep a thermometer in your cooler. Your food should stay below the "danger zone" temperature of 5°C / 41°F. Foods that are potentially hazardous if they spend two or more hours in the danger zone are: meat, fish, poultry, eggs, protein rich foods, dairy products, cut or peeled fresh produce, most cooked foods, shellfish, sauces and gravies, sprouts, and any foods that contain any of these items.

  4. For long trips, and/or if you need food to stay frozen, consider using dry ice (known as "card ice" in some places), which is carbon dioxide frozen at -109.3°F / -78.5°C. Dry ice is non-toxic but it can cause rapid frostbite, asphyxiation, and other problems; read more about safely handling and storing dry ice before you buy. Dry ice can go in your main cooler if wrapped in a towel, but a more convenient option is to have a second cooler with just dry ice and frozen water bottles (and any food you want to keep frozen); transfer water bottles to the main cooler as needed. If you plan to use dry ice, also read about quantity needed, packing, and transport tips.

  5. In sunny weather, your parked vehicle can get really hot, really fast. You can use a dry cooler for heat-sensitive items, such as phones, cameras, and other electronics. The inside of the cooler will stay at ambient temperature for many hours even if your car's interior hits 140°F / 60°C. If you have an extra dry cooler and enough space, you may wish to chill other food items that don't require refrigeration, such as bread and apples, too keep them fresher.

  6. Avoid adding warm food or beverages. It will bring the average temperature of the cooler way up.

  7. You can purchase a powered cooler that is essentially a small 12v refrigerator. Be careful not to drain your battery, however; some vehicles keep their 12v power outlets live even when the vehicle is off.



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 11:52PM by SmellsLikeUpfoo http://ift.tt/2rc3Qe7 lifehacks

I have Soylent 2.0, does it ever go bad? soylent

What is the expiration date, I have been freezing 5 at a time but I leave the while box out. Will it go bad and do I need to freeze them all? Also does it have an expiration date?

thank you.

EDIT: sorry, by freeze I just meant putting them in the refrigerator



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 11:57PM by lemons_into_lemonaid http://ift.tt/2qGU54g soylent

Free refrigerator (White plains) FreeStuffNYC

work but old bought new one fair condition.

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2pXbg65

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 10:16PM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2sncl41 FreeStuffNYC

Free refrigerator (White plains) FreeStuffNYC

work but old bought new one fair condition.

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2pXbg65

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 10:17PM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2rp5Hg7 FreeStuffNYC

Razor's Edge - Part 1 NSFW DarkTales

I woke up in the dark, breathing heavily, panicked... Everything around me was pitch black and the room felt almost damp. I threw the covers off of myself, exposing my bare legs to the chilly air. Goosebumps raised to the surface of my pale skin almost instantly. The blanket felt damp as well. "That's odd." I thought to myself. I shrugged it off to cold sweats from whatever bad dream I may have been having and reached for the lamp on my bedside table.

After a moment of searching, I found the small switch. Flipped it up, into the on position and waited. The light bathed the small room in a faint orange glow. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and waited for my sight to adjust to the light. I glanced around the room briefly, looking for anything that may have stirred me from my slumber, but nothing seemed out of place.

The little table next to my bed had the small lamp on it and my cell phone, which was now fully charged. I picked it up, and looked at it, thinking maybe someone had called, rousing me awake. "No Notifications".

"Ok," I thought, so that wasn't it. The phone said it was 3:17am. Almost two hours before when my alarm was supposed to go off. 5am.

I set my phone back on the table and swung my legs to the left, drooping them over the edge of the bed. I hesitated a moment, fear of something grabbing me from under the bed. This was an irrational fear from my childhood, that I never really grew out of. After a moment of hovering just above the six inch gap between my box spring and the floor, I slid forward, and placed my feet on the red shag carpet.

I pushed myself up into a standing position and drowsily began shuffling toward the door to my bedroom. I figured I would get a glass of water, and hopefully get back to sleep for a little while before I had to get up for work.

I reached the tall oak door leading to the hallway of my tiny one bedroom apartment, reached out and turned the knob.

(creeeeaaaak) The door whined from it's brass hinges.

The entire apartment was dark and quiet. The tiny kitchen was just at the other end of the hall, separated by the bathroom, just to my left and an archway leading to the living room off to the right. I felt for the wall with my hand, and made my way down the dark hallway toward the kitchen.

(drip... drip... drip) I heard from the bathroom.

"Damn that faucet!" I said out loud, aggravated. The sink in the bathroom had leaked on and off since I moved into this building about four months ago. I had called maintenance about it multiple times. And every time, they came out, fixed the leak, and then no more than a day later at best, it would be leaking again.

I made it past the bathroom, the dripping slowly fading out behind me. I moved past the living room entryway, and to the kitchen at the end of the hall. Reaching up to my left, I felt for the switch on the wall. When I found the switch, I flipped it on and showered the small kitchen in yellow light.

Again, nothing seemed out of place, and by this time, I wasn't sure anything had happened to stir me from my sleep. I shrugged it off and walked across the room, the linoleum cold on my bare feet. I stopped at the cupboard where I kept all of my glasses, opened it and grabbed a glass, when something moving in my peripheral vision, caught my attention.

Off to the right of where I stood, was my refrigerator, and to the right of the fridge was my back door. It was one of those sliding glass doors. It led to a small balcony overlooking the concrete parking lot behind my apartment building. I had a set of large sky blue drapes hanging over the doors, to maintain what little privacy I was allowed, given my living in a cramped apartment building in the middle of the city.

The movement I saw was one of these drapes, the one that hung over the door that opened, was waving slightly, as if there were a breeze. But that couldn't be right. I specifically remembered closing and locking the sliding glass door before I had gone to bed the night before.

Concerned, I set the glass down on the counter, and inched toward the doorway. After just a couple steps, I saw the shimmering shards of broken glass laying on the floor of my kitchen, just in front of the doorway.

"Shit," I thought to myself.

Had someone broken in? I lived on the second floor, and my balcony was a good distance up from the ground, so it didn't seem likely. But the shattering of glass would have undoubtedly woken me up.

Panicked, I turned back to the cupboards and counters. Just below my glasses cupboard, was a drawer, you know? The one with all the sharp stuff in it. I slid open the drawer carefully, trying not to make any noise, and grabbed the first thing I found. It happened to be one of those two-pronged turkey forks.

I turned, weapon in hand, and faced the dark hallway again. It all seemed so eerily quiet. I was having trouble believing that anything could be in my apartment with me. Were they in the living room? Waiting in the darkness for the perfect time to attack? Had I passed right by them in the bathroom? I felt chills imagining the horrifying possibilities.

Slowly, I worked up my nerve and edged back toward the darkness looming in the hall. I had made it almost all the way across the kitchen, and could barely make out the dark gap of the archway leading to the living room, when I heard a loud crash coming from my bedroom.

The crash was so loud, it made me almost jump out of my skin. I dropped the turkey fork in my start, which landed point-side down into my right foot.

"Oww!" I cried out in pain, as the blade pierced an inch into the meat on the outside of my foot. "Good thing it's so sharp!" I thought cynically as I squatted and quickly jerked the prong from my foot. I bit my tongue so I didn't cry out in pain again, and stood back up, holding the fork menacingly out in front of me.

My foot throbbed in agony and bled profusely from the half gaping hole. The blood poured out onto the smooth kitchen floor, making the floor slippery. I reached to the left, and grabbed the marble counter top for balance. Once I was sure of my footing, I turned back to the dark hallway.

The source of the crash was still hidden, although I knew it was in the apartment, probably still in my bedroom. I limped slowly toward the hall. After just a couple seconds, I was back in the dark hallway. I reached for the light switch, to my right, and flipped it. But nothing happened. I flipped it another time... and again. Nothing.

"Damn," I thought. I could see the faint glow of the small lamp on in my room at the opposite end of the hall. It seemed so far away from where I stood now. Slowly, I made my way down the hall, toward my room.

As I reached the archway for the living room, I flipped the switch for the light in there. Nothing. Trying not to lose my nerve under the pressure of the horrible thing that was happening, I ignored the fact that the light wouldn't work, and instead continued down the hallway, using the wall for support. My foot still gushed blood, and left a nasty trail of blood down the hall.

I reached the bathroom, and flipped the switch.

Light!

The dim bulb basked part of the hallway in an irridescent yellow glow, which further revealed the bloody trail I had left behind. I saw my reflection briefly in the full length mirror on the bathroom door. My hair was crazy, my eyes wild and I had speckles of blood all over my right arm from the turkey fork piercing my foot and then dripping blood everywhere.

I continued past, to my bedroom, the door was slightly ajar, but mostly closed. Cautiously, I peeked into the room, careful to not touch the door to avoid making any noise. From where I stood, I could only see the small table with the lamp on it. I couldn't quite see my bed, but I could see that my cell phone wasn't where I left it.

Dammit! How could I call for help now?

Slowly, I pushed the door open.

(Creeeeaaaak)

At first, I saw nothing out of the ordinary. My bed was slightly disheveled, as I had left it when I had woken up. The lamp sat on the night stand, as normal. My phone charger was on the floor by the night stand, but no phone attached to it. As I turned though, to face the back half of my room I saw that my oak dresser had been toppled over, and lay in pieces on the floor. Splintered wood and my clothes laid scattered all over the red shag carpet.

I continued to scan the room, still holding the turkey fork, though my hands now shook violently with fear. When my gaze reached the corner to the left of me, I saw the intruder. It was about eight feet tall, dark leathery skin stretched tight over what looked to be a humanoid bone structure. He had long bony fingers, and holes in the sides of his head where his ears should be. He faced the wall, and had something shiny in his hands. My cell phone.

I watched in horror as he took the phone, sniffed it briefly and then put it into his mouth. I heard the awful crunch as he took a enormous bite out of it. The lights flashed, and then failed completely as the beast tore the phone in half with it's brutally sharp teeth. He then threw the other half on the floor, and spit pieces of plastic and metal out in all directions. He continued to sniff more of the room, almost like he was searching for something.

I gasped in terror, and the beast turned his gaze to me.

His eyes lit up in excitement when he saw me. Eyes that glowed a vibrant green color. He grinned menacingly, revealing his long, sharp fangs.

"Who... a... a... are you?" I stammered.

"I am the Razor," He scoffed. "Who are you?"

"Um, I'm Amy," I answered honestly, too terrified to lie. "What do you want?"

"I want to eat," He answered.

"What are you doing here, in my house?" I asked him, as I slowly inched back toward the doorway. Maybe I could get away, out the front door before he killed me.

"Searching." He answered, sniffing the air wildly. "Something... something smells so good." He finished. Before I knew it, he sprang toward me. "It's you!" He said excitedly, "You smell so... delicious." He cried, breathing heavily into my hair in a craze. "I must have a taste."

"No," Was all I could get out, totally stunned.

The beast grabbed my right hand, the one holding the weapon, and licked the blood from my fingers.

"Mmmmm," he mumbled, as he continued to lick the blood from my arms.

"I must have you," He declared.

"Let me go!" I cried desperately, trying to break free from his grip.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that," The Razor laughed maniacally. "I'm so hungry." And he began to nibble at my arm. His teeth scratching and tearing at my skin.

"Stop!" I yelled, and thrusted the turkey fork into his side, just below his bony ribs. The blade sunk in all the way to the shaft, and I released it. The blade now hanging from his side.

The Razor continued to laugh.

"Stupid girl," He proclaimed. "I could have made this easy on you. You wouldn't have felt a thing." He wiped the drops of my blood from his mouth, and licked his fingers. "Now, you will suffer!" With this, he grabbed my arm with both hands firmly, and snapped it at the elbow, which caused the bone to protrude from the inside of the joint.

I cried out in pain and horror. I could do nothing except watch as he ripped my forearm from the rest of my arm. It detached and began to ooze blood.

The Razor put the detached forearm in his mouth, and began sucking the blood from it. It was dry in just a matter of seconds. I didn't know what to do. I just crumpled into a ball on the floor, curling my legs up to my chest, and wept, watching the blood pour from my now missing arm. He crept closer to me, and crouched down, getting right next to my face.

"You don't enjoy this?" He asked tauntingly.

"Fuck you!" I screamed through tears, and spat in his hideous face.

"Very well," The Razor laughed, and he began to shred my clothes. He tore my shirt, exposing my breasts, and began to lick and suck at them. Then he ripped my shorts open at the crotch, and stuck his long bony fingers inside of me.

I cried out in pain and disgust. He removed his fingers from between my legs, and began to lick them, clearly enjoying himself. I saw the turkey fork still sticking out of his side. If I could just get a hold of it...

He lifted me off of the floor and forced his disgusting penis inside of me, moaning animalistically. I ignored it as best as I could, and while he was distracted, I grabbed a hold of the turkey fork. I yanked it from his side, and jammed it into my own chest.

I looked up just in time to see him look at me in confusion, and then everything faded to black...



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 10:10PM by Slyde87 http://ift.tt/2sn3ejy DarkTales

Free refrigerator (White plains) FreeStuffNYC

work but old bought new one fair condition.

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2pXbg65

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 10:16PM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2sncl41 FreeStuffNYC

Free refrigerator (White plains) FreeStuffNYC

work but old bought new one fair condition.

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2pXbg65

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 10:17PM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2rp5Hg7 FreeStuffNYC

The letter "d" is in fridge but is not in refrigerator. Showerthoughts

No text found

Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:55PM by TheCharlieEcho http://ift.tt/2rF2ZUU Showerthoughts

[Meme][Poetry] Need a new refrigerator? youtubehaiku

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx0PyI4zn4Q

Submitted May 31, 2017 at 04:03PM by havingdrugs_doingsex http://ift.tt/2rjtTPf youtubehaiku

My court date is June 7th legaladvice

On Christmas night of 2016 a girl overdosed at my parents house on heroin while my parents are out of town I have lost seven friends in the last year due to heroin and I am a recovering addict myself so I mediately called the paramedics I followed the ambulance to the hospital and they saved her life the next day the police showed up without a warrant and me being scared I let the man they ended up finding drug paraphernalia and arrested me. I was put on probation for two years and sentenced to classes I have paid all my fines and started taking the classes however I ate one of my roommates add a Bulls that she kept in the refrigerator that I did not realize was an edible because she was from Colorado and recently moved in I have since moved out of that place but yet I still have to go to court on June 7 for violation of probation. My question is is there a possibility that I could go to jail for this? I thought that there was a good Samaritan law and 37 states including the state that I live in however this is apparently not the case so please if you have any advice for me I would really appreciate it.



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 01:50PM by CestLaVie1989 http://ift.tt/2scTw4g legaladvice

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Free Items !!! FreeStuffNYC

I got a bunch of free house items i am currently moving to a different state, i got a 32in and 42in samsung flatscreen TV , a computer desk , metal file cabinet , a samsung washing machine , a computer chair and a refrigerator. (All in good condition [...]

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qxVO0C

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:17AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2rDd9oV FreeStuffNYC

SMALL REFRIGERATOR FOR SCRAP !!!!!! (CENTRAL S.I.) FreeStuffNYC

Good Day!!!! please pick up this small fridge for scrap and keep the $$$$.. Text me -->> three47nine72five593..

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qEhoMg

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:17AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2rSEZxm FreeStuffNYC

SMALL REFRIGERATOR FOR SCRAP !!!!!! (CENTRAL S.I.) FreeStuffNYC

Good Day!!!! please pick up this small fridge for scrap and keep the $$$$.. Text me -->> three47nine72five593..

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qEhoMg

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:16AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2sc2Q8n FreeStuffNYC

Free Items !!! FreeStuffNYC

I got a bunch of free house items i am currently moving to a different state, i got a 32in and 42in samsung flatscreen TV , a computer desk , metal file cabinet , a samsung washing machine , a computer chair and a refrigerator. (All in good condition [...]

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qxVO0C

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:17AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2rDd9oV FreeStuffNYC

SMALL REFRIGERATOR FOR SCRAP !!!!!! (CENTRAL S.I.) FreeStuffNYC

Good Day!!!! please pick up this small fridge for scrap and keep the $$$$.. Text me -->> three47nine72five593..

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qEhoMg

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:17AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2rSEZxm FreeStuffNYC

Free Items !!! FreeStuffNYC

I got a bunch of free house items i am currently moving to a different state, i got a 32in and 42in samsung flatscreen TV , a computer desk , metal file cabinet , a samsung washing machine , a computer chair and a refrigerator. (All in good condition [...]

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qxVO0C

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:16AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2rD6F9O FreeStuffNYC

SMALL REFRIGERATOR FOR SCRAP !!!!!! (CENTRAL S.I.) FreeStuffNYC

Good Day!!!! please pick up this small fridge for scrap and keep the $$$$.. Text me -->> three47nine72five593..

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qEhoMg

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:16AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2sc2Q8n FreeStuffNYC

Free Items !!! FreeStuffNYC

I got a bunch of free house items i am currently moving to a different state, i got a 32in and 42in samsung flatscreen TV , a computer desk , metal file cabinet , a samsung washing machine , a computer chair and a refrigerator. (All in good condition [...]

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qxVO0C

via IFTTT



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 09:17AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2rDd9oV FreeStuffNYC

Refrigerators Freezer Handles that swing up- What is that style called? NoStupidQuestions

Ok. So I can't think of what this is called. Some refrigerators which have the freezer on the bottom have freezer handles that swing up a little bit. However, every single one of them that I try in the showcase feels like the hinge is a piece of complete garbage. What is that "swing freezer handle" feature called?



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 05:00AM by sgt_narkstick http://ift.tt/2ri1uch NoStupidQuestions

My roommate doesn't contrinute food, cleaning, or weed. What do I do? Advice

So my room mate "Frank" has been in a tight financial spot for a few months & hasn't been able to contribute to the refrigerator stock, but also isn't washing dishes, helping around the house anymore, & stays paying his part of the hills 1-3 weeks late. I cook at home 3 times a week, he takes leftovers to work for lunch, eats everything in the house that I buy, and when he does get some extra money he goes to the drive thru for himself instead of getting groceries. He also isn't throwing down at all for the weed fund and has no issue sparking my shit. Where do I start with him? He's historically been a decent roommate with cleaning but for the past few months his housekeeping has gone to total shit. To the point when I was cleaning two weeks ago he sat on his ass and watched movies all day and said "I'll get the dishes later". Nigga we got fruit flies get the fuck up. I understand what it's like to be extremely financially strapped, but I also understand when I was in those situations I made sure to make up for it in other ways. I'm not expecting a maid but I don't think I should be cooking and cleaning every day for another grown ass man. Idk what to do short of chin checking him.



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 06:19AM by stayblacc http://ift.tt/2qxKq51 Advice

New [anti-aging] & [antioxidant] [skincare]! SkincareAddiction

I am always looking for a new anti-aging and antioxidant skin care item and I love a job that allows me to try all different ones. Alogel is super lightweight and I have been applying it in the morning and evening to my face and neck. It has a really fresh scent that I actually look forward to! This is ancient Korean Skin Care and all these products contain herbal and natural ingredients instead of all the harsh and confusing chemicals. So many additional products to choose from. I really feel like my skin is getting back on track from the drying and trying winter. For the upcoming summer heat, I am going to pop this into the refrigerator so that it is chilled and ready to soothe my sun-kissed skin! I can actually feel the extracts doing their thing; skin is brighter and healthier in just a couple of days use. This bottle is around $30; check it out now so you are ready for the warm weather on its way! Read more at http://ift.tt/2r988Tx



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 05:03AM by JKopach http://ift.tt/2qDPzDO SkincareAddiction

End of the Lane [M4F: Romance, Role-Reversal] dirtypenpals

In September, I quit my job as a university librarian ("Are you insane, Ethan? That tenure position is going to open in just another year or two.") to answer an ad halfway across the country for an Itinerant Librarian in rural school district. ("Are you certain, Mister MacIren? Your resume is great; the position is yours if you want it, but the salary is fixed by the school board. We can't offer more.") It meant endless driving between scattered schools in my little Subaru to spend a few hours at each putting the right books into the hands of children who were already better at thumb-chatting on a phone than focusing on a paragraph of fixed text. After the first week of returning after dark, of every pair of eyes - even the school staffs' - suspicious of my new face, I thought I'd made a terrible mistake. It wasn't until that girl with the tremulous, hopeful smile stopped me to ask if I had any more Magic Treehouse books that I finally slept easy through a night.

It also meant giving up my apartment with the river view for something well beyond that fuzzy boundary of 'suburban'. When my friends posted on facebook that I'd gone granola, I posted a picture of the tiny cottage I'd bought with my meager savings. Granted, that was the picture the real estate agent had used to lure me into the 400-square-foot fixer-upper, and it didn't accurately reflect just how much attention it needed. Over the next couple of months I poured my heart into my job during the weekdays, but my sweat (and a few drops of blood) into the cottage over weekends. YouTube and library books taught me how to patch a roof, how to install double-paned windows, how to level and re-tile a floor. At least I didn't have to worry about looking the fool or howling like a baboon when I hammered my thumb - my home was two miles down an old lane that the county didn't bother keeping paved, with only forest and utility lines for company. The lane ran another half mile before rough stone walls closed in on the sides and a sign on a gate declared it private property. The one time I went exploring, I turned around and walked back to my own private stretch of the lane; I figured that was far enough away that 'being neighborly' didn't apply.

I was wrong.


I saw my neighbor a couple of times in those months - or rather I saw the old gray truck come rumbling up the road from the direction of the gate. It would always slow as it passed my cottage, and I probably gawked as I squinted to see through the reflections on the window. The one time I actually managed to glimpse a human, all I saw was a hand lifted in greeting. I'm sure they got an eyeful. Even in October it got hot up on the roof, and all I was wearing was a pair of old carpenter shorts and my hiking boots; my unruly brown hair clung in curly locks to my sweaty brow, my glasses were slipping down my nose, and my nerd-lean body was sheening. I didn't think to trade the hammer out of my hand and wave back until the truck was gone.

Later that evening when I drove into town for dinner, I asked after my neighbor. Marge, the old sweetheart at the cafe who was one of the few locals I'd managed to befriend, waved me off of it. "Don't bother." The meatloaf and green beans smelled divine after a long day of work, but I wasn't entirely sure that the white blob beside them was potatoes. "She's crazy, that one. Not in the sense that everyone's crazy around here in one way or another - I'm talking legitimate. There's stories I could tell you if I was more inclined to gossip. You should come to church if you want to meet your neighbors." As always, I thanked her for the invitation and deflected.

When I got back home that night, I nearly tripped over a brown paper package propped against my door. I stepped into the kitchen and flicked on the light before opening it up to reveal a red winter coat. My fingers traced the fur inside the hood. I never would have bought something like that for myself. For a moment I thought maybe it was meant to be a woman's jacket, but it fit me like it had been measured when I slipped it on. A folded piece of kitchen note paper - a leaf from one of those pads realtors always give with calendar refrigerator magnets - fluttered to the floor. It read in a quick, neat script: The winters get cold here. Wear this. - Your Neighbor from the End of the Lane

On Sunday, instead of hanging the raingutter on the eaves, I stayed inside to bake a couple batches of the oatmeal butterscotch cookies I usually baked around Christmastime. I piled them high on a good plate - the kind that gets returned - covered them with plastic wrap, and stuck on a note that read, Thanks! It's a perfect fit. - Ethan MacIren. Your cottage neighbor. The gate was closed. I stood a few minutes, deciding whether or not to just duck under it, before walking the mile and a half the other direction to the rail with both of our mailboxes and leaving the plate there.


Winter swooped in like a hawk diving for a squirrel on the road. One weekend I was debating wearing full jeans to go outside and rake the leaves off my walk, and the next it was gloomy and the winds blowing down from the Arctic were flirting with freezing. I woke Sunday to a white wonderland, a blue-gray early morning as magical as a greeting card. You have to understand that snow is practically a myth where I grew up, so I didn't stop for a moment before bundling up in the warmest clothes I had - including that red, fur-hooded jacket - and fighting my way out the front door and into snow up to my knees.

I felt like a kid: within a few minutes I'd left a snow-angel on what I assumed was my walk, and rolled huge lumps for a snowman that kept crumbling and falling apart when I tried to lift them. Eager as a deer I bounded off across the road and into the trees, giddy to fill my phone with pictures to prove to my family just what I'd gained by moving to the middle of nowhere.

Until you've been through a winter like that, it's difficult to explain how much the landscape changes. The road was no longer obvious, and neither were the ditches off to the side. I laughed as I stumbled face-first into the ditch and made a Looney-Tunes cutout in my shape. I wouldn't let the surprise snow-bath ruin my spirits (nor the fact that I'd nearly lost my phone for it); I went tromping off through the fields into the woods, taking photo after photo, catching thick globs of falling snow on my bare pink fingers to look for twin flakes. Wading through snow takes a lot out of you, especially when the next step could send you flailing waist-deep into a drift, or banging your toe on a hidden rock. And even with an obvious trail plowed behind me, by the time I was panting and shivering and wondering if maybe those work gloves would have been better than nothing, I wasn't sure where the cottage was, or how far away I'd tromped.

That's when I saw her. She sat astride a horse, just standing there, watching me. Her horse was barely hoof-deep - it must have been a firm path. I was a bit winded but I laughed, raised a hand, and called out, "Hi!" and began wading toward her.

She turned her horse away, tapping her heels and clucking to coax it to an amble, but she glanced back, still staring at me like I was supposed to follow. I did, clambering up onto the path I hadn't seen in the sea of white. She kept the horse at a walk, maintaining the distance between us until I crested the rise between us and saw I was on the lane, with my cottage just ahead. Only then did she click to her horse and trot away.

"Thanks!" I called after her.

Snowy mornings have a way of swallowing sound, so I had no idea if she didn't hear me, or just ignored it.


Tuesday, I left a note in her mailbox.

Thanks for the assist. Thursday night, 7:30p. Dinner at my place? I'll have a fire in the fireplace. I make a mean lasagna.
RSVP not necessary. - Your cottage neighbor.


Thanks for reading through that massive amount of text. I realize the length and subject matter are likely to turn most away, so I appreciate anyone making it this far! :)

I enjoy longer, slower RPs, but I'm not really expecting anyone to post 1500-word chapters with me on any kind of regular basis - especially not in initial responses where our characters are just getting to know each other. What I'd really love is something episodic, little glimpses into the life of Ethan and his neighbor - maybe we'd trade a dozen posts of them getting to know each other in his cottage, and then regroup OOC and think up the next little arc for them.

If you're not familiar with role-reversal, it's this in a nutshell: take any typical F4M post, and flip the genders around. I'd probably be interested in that. Ethan is more likely to be pursued than the pursuer; if he initiated the first kiss, it would be a surprise rather than the expectation. That makes him the submissive one, but not passive, not at all. And it doesn't mean he ends up tied to a bed or blindfolded either. Kink is great, but not assumed; anything beyond role-reversed vanilla, I'd like to sort out through the RP. It would be fun to reach that point organically, with the characters negotiating through their expectations.

That said, I can produce a detailed list of interests and kinks and limits on request if you're interested, but I'd almost prefer they didn't align, that there were things you (and your character) are interested that aren't on my list of favorites, to make the RP more of a stretch. Perhaps the same would be true in reverse? But I'm especially eager for characters who don't quite match up anyway: maybe they're culturally or politically opposites, or different ethnicities, or there's a substantial age-gap between them. Maybe she's wealthy. It's certainly not necessary, but I love an RP with meat in the characters and relationships and romance, and not just smut. If you have a great idea for a character that doesn't quite fit the details in the prompt, not too worry. We can change the details - just clue me in in advance so I don't make assumptions. This is very loosely based on a true story, but I want to tell our own story, not stay slave to history.

If any of that interests you, please don't hesitate to reply!



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 02:24AM by moonfacedmask http://ift.tt/2rhps7h dirtypenpals

Landlord asked us to move out before official evacuation date and still wants us to pay for next month's rent. Is this legal/did we mess up? legaladvice

Location: California, US

Hi all, I was just wondering if you all think this would hold up in small claim's court. Our landlord delivered us an official 45 day notice which ended on June 26th, 2017. However, he also asked us to move out sooner than that as he was trying to sell the home as soon as possible. We honored his request as respect to him and moved out on 5/30/17. However, now he is insinuating that we owe for rent up until June 26.

While what he did was shady, do you think we have a foot to stand on if this goes to court?

(Obviously, I know this is not official legal advice. I just want some opinions if this is worth pursuing).

Please see below.


Re: Notice to Vacate Premises dated May 12th, 2017

We (Tenant1, Tenant2, and Tenant3) have officially ended our tenancy at [address] as of 5/30/17. We acknowledge that we were to vacate the property referenced above by no later than 12:00 noon on Monday June 26th, 2017 as per the 45-day notice that we received by Landlord on 5/12/17. We complied with Landlord's request to leave the home “as soon as possible” as he stated in our phone conversation on 5/9/17. During a previous texting conversation on 5/7/17, which Landlord originally delivered a 30-day notice (which he redacted in favor of a 45-day written notice) Landlord also gave us permission to “move out sooner” than his stated final evacuation date.

Due to Landlord's request of expediting the move-out process and moving as soon as possible, we moved out as soon as we found a suitable home. We have kept Landlord up-to-date regarding our move-out plans such as informing him on 5/18/17 that we would be signing our lease for our new rental home on 5/26/17. Landlord also contacted Tenant1 on 5/28/17 asking when we would be fully moved-out as he was eager to complete our walk-through, to which Tenant stated that we would be fully moved out and ready for a walk-through within two days’ time (by 5/30/17). Landlord also lives on the property and has been able to see that we were in the process of moving, therefore, he has been kept aware of this process.

We removed all our belongings and cleaned the property to restore it to the same (or better) condition as when we originally rented the unit. To comply with our 45-day notice, which states “the final walkthrough to follow immediately after tenants Tenant1, Tenant2, and Tenant3 are moved out and have surrendered the premises” we have requested a walkthrough on 5/30/17, however, Landlord stated we “have plenty of time” for the walkthrough and that he would be open to doing it the following week and per his request we are waiting for him to let us know when he is ready for the final walk-through to happen.

Due to the condition of the home (in similar condition to when we rented the property, clean, and with no damage), we have every reason to believe that we will be receiving our full deposit in the amount of $X,XXX within 14 days (6/13/17) after we have moved out completely (5/30/17) as stated in our rental agreement dated 3/3/17.

We have left the 4 copies of the home’s keys that we have in our possession as well as the 1 copy of the storage shed’s key on the kitchen counter nearest the refrigerator on 5/30/17 and therefore the property is no longer in our possession.



Submitted May 31, 2017 at 02:48AM by sararooskie http://ift.tt/2rCk1mm legaladvice

What's your pumping routine at work? beyondthebump

Curious to know what different routines you all keep while pumping at work? Frequency of pumping sessions, storage in work refrigerator, how you keep pump parts clean on the job, transporting milk home etc.
Thanks!



Submitted May 30, 2017 at 11:15PM by koalabean567 http://ift.tt/2rkwPgp beyondthebump

Monday, May 29, 2017

Storage mead

Hello! So I have decided that I would like to start making mead! But I have a question about storage. My wife and I have little place to keep it in our house while it ages through the initial batch and racking. I could store it in the garage but it will get dust all over it as I do some wood working. I was wondering if it could be stored in a refrigerator after I initially mix it, after racking and when bottled? Or if you guys have other ideas? We don't want it just sitting on our counter as we have little counter space as it is. Thank you in advance!



Submitted May 30, 2017 at 08:52AM by adrunktherapist http://ift.tt/2res1Hq mead

Free refrigerator (White plains) FreeStuffNYC

work but old bought new one fair condition.rusty at bottom

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qmWjKQ

via IFTTT



Submitted May 30, 2017 at 08:16AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2r5ZoO6 FreeStuffNYC

Free refrigerator (White plains) FreeStuffNYC

work but old bought new one fair condition.rusty at bottom

from Craigslist http://ift.tt/2qmWjKQ

via IFTTT



Submitted May 30, 2017 at 08:17AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/2qACriK FreeStuffNYC

My refrigerator is like air conditioning for my food. Showerthoughts

No text found

Submitted May 30, 2017 at 06:29AM by Letususedeletednames http://ift.tt/2sfJhLO Showerthoughts

[Syracuse NY] Landlady is deducting our security deposits over items she says we stole. legaladvice

My girlfriend and her sister (let's call them 'C' and 'L') moved into our current apartment in May of 2014. I moved in with them in December of 2016. We have just finished moving everything from our current apartment to a new apartment and asked the landlady to look over our kitchen/rooms when she accused us of:

-Stealing her dishes/silverware that were in the apartment's shared kitchen.

-Stealing her metal shelf that was in the apartment's shared living area.

I've gone over everything in our possession and we definitely did not pack her dishes/silverware by mistake, let alone the shelf. We (mostly C&L) don't remember ever seeing any dishes of the sort she described. The metal shelf was taken by a prior tenant (let's call him 'R') when he moved out last June, but she insists it was still here when I moved in last December.

C&L have shared that apartment building with 5 tenants before I moved in, including 'R' and another girl who is also moving out with us now. We are her only remaining tenants. Our best guess for the dishes is either A.) One of the prior tenants stole the dishes/silverware, maybe even before they moved in. B.) She forgot that she moved them to her personal storage room(s) that she refuses to look through.

At this point all we want is our security deposits back, but she's going to deduct from them when we go back tomorrow to turn in our keys. She's texted us that she hasn't seen these dishes in twelve years.

Can she withhold or deduct from our deposits without our approval? Should we give her the keys if she does anyway? Do we have to take her to small claims court, or vice-versa?

I've re-read my lease, the only two sections appear relevant:

SEVEN. TENANT RESPONSIBILITIES:

...

Upon the termination or expiration of this Agreement the Tenant shall redeliver the property, amenities, furniture, appliances and any other applicable aspects of the Apartment, in as good condition as at the commencement of the Agreement or as may be put in during the Agreement. Reasonable wear and tear from use and obsolescence to the Apartment shall be accepted.

TWENTY-SIX. ADDITIONAL PROVISIONS

Security deposit will be returned after tenant has moved out and apartment has been inspected within 10 days. If there is no damage to property and is clean then the full security deposit will be returned. If cleaning is required charges will be deducted from security deposit:

Oven- $25

Refrigerator- $5

Bathtub-$15

Toilet-$10

Sinks-$5

Sheet rock, widows, floors, carpet, and door damage- replacement cost



Submitted May 30, 2017 at 05:48AM by Clockwork_Heart http://ift.tt/2sflNX9 legaladvice

Can I get a critique of my solar/electric setup plan? vandwellers

I am planning out a van conversion that I hope to start late this summer/early fall and I am fairly confused about the electricity part. If someone could critique my planned setup and give me input that would be great!

Description
My solar/electric setup will be based around a Goal Zero platform that uses three 100w Goal Zero Boulder panels and a Goal Zero Yeti 3000 Lithium generator. I would like to have a 12v fuse box running from the Yeti 3000 12v Anderson Powerpole output, which will power a 61 Liter Dometic Refridgerator, a Maxxair 5100k Fan, an Espar D2 Heater, a 12v water pump, and six led puck lights. I will use the Yeti 3000 AC and USB outlets to power other things like laptops and cameras.

Rough Sketch
Here is a sketch of my plans

Other Questions
1. How does grounding work? Do I need to ground everything that draws power?
2. What gauge wire should I use to connect the 12v appliances to the fusebox and the fuse box to the Yeti 3000?
3. How does constructing the connecting wires work? Is there a good resource for this?

Thanks for the help!

Edit: Formatting



Submitted May 30, 2017 at 02:59AM by mart_man800 http://ift.tt/2rP4fob vandwellers

Ain't A Hero - 13 HFY

Previous - Episode 12

 

Through a golden, crackled haze coated helmet visor, Bach gazes up into the fast moving clouds above. The sun nears the horizon a bit more every minute. Bach takes a long breath in through his helmet’s respirator and exhales slowly. He lays behind the concrete barrier on his back, hands resting on his stomach. A gust of wind blows through and sways the tears and char spots in his clothing. A few flakes of ashen cloth drift with the flow of air and away into the distance. Bach sees Sebastian fly overhead, scouting the area. He floats down closer to Bach and waves at him. “Hey! Bro! You alive?”

Bach gradually rolls a hand into a thumbs up and calls out through his respirator. “Yah. Wiped out. But. Alive, man. Some-fucking-how.”

Sebastian smiles proudly, returns a thumbs up to Bach, and points around to the surrounding area. “Cool, bro. I’m going to look around and check the area again. Make sure nothing else is aiming to join in the clusterfuck of our day. You. You rest.”

Bach sighs and looks side to side as his head gradually follows behind. “Not going to be a problem.”

Sebastian flies up and off over the top of a small building near Bach. Aristespha rolls out a pack of medical supplies and directs Cideeda to lay back down on her stomach next to her. “Let me to work on those injuries more and heal them properly.”

Sotalia flips open a pouch on her belt, pulls out a vial, and hands it to Dretphi. Dretphi narrows her eyes behind her helmet visor and sneers at the vial as she holds it away from her. Sotalia stands up with her hands on her hips and quirks her brow at Dretphi. “Oh, don’t be that way. It’s cherry flavored. Drink up. It’ll cut the swelling down.”

Dretphi groans with heavy hesitation, lifts her visor, pops the cork off, and slams the liquid back. Her face contorts and she mutters a number of Grath curses under her breath. Sotalia rolls her eyes and shakes head with a smirk. Aristespha takes a moment from tending Cideeda, makes eye contact with Sotalia, and points over towards Bach’s location. “Could you check on Bach and make sure there isn’t anything that needs my immediate attention?”

Sotalia glances over towards the concrete barrier near Bach. “Of course. It’ll give me a chance to survey the damage.”

Cideeda winces with an excited, toothy grin as she maneuvers her arms out of the top of her body suit with the help of Aristespha. “Keep an eye out for any big parts from that robot. I want its head!”

Dretphi pops the locks underneath her helmet and pulls it off, letting her platinum to dirty blonde hair air out in the breeze. “I call the armaments on the arms. If salvageable.”

Sotalia nods with a confirming gesture of the hand and walks confidently over towards Bach. She moves carefully through the courtyard, casually eyeing bits of robot in new and interesting locations. She stops in front of the barrier and notices a number of golden stabilized magical energy shards on the ground. With a quick check side to side, she kneels down, picks up a few handfuls, and places them in her pocket. Her head stops upon Bach’s plasma pistol. The plasma pistol remains with its magical modifications on the ground. Sotalia reaches out, picks it up, and gawks at it. After a few moments, she blinks back to her senses, snatches up the two power magazines into another pocket, and stands back up. She rounds the corner of the barrier and finds Bach laying down, looking up into the sky. His eyes shift under the visor and meet her face, as she raises an eyebrow. She places her hands to her hips and smiles out of the corner of her mouth. “Cloud watching?”

Bach’s eyes search around. But, he resigns himself with a droop of his eyelids and speaks through the respirator. “Kinda.”

Sotalia shakes her head, gestures with a free hand for Bach to get up, and begins to turn around. “Come on. Let’s get back to everyone else. Aristespha needs to give you at least a once over.”

Bach sheepishly mumbles as his eyes wander around. “You go ahead. I’ll be right over. I’m going to need a few minutes.”

Sotalia halts and tilts her head to the side as her curiosity overrides. She slowly pivots back around and lowers her intrigued gaze at Bach. He watches her step to his side and sit down right next to him. Sotalia gently places Bach’s plasma pistol off to the side and focuses her attention at Bach. She reaches out to Bach’s helmet, flips the visor up and detaches the respirator off to the side. She then cranes her head over and hovers her face right above his, with a devilish grin. “Let me guess. You tapped yourself out and your limbs are worthlessly weak right now.”

A long sigh of embarrassment comes from Bach and he stops averting his eyes from Sotalia’s. “Yes.”

Sotalia lifts her head back and covers a giggle with her hand. “Wow! Throwing all that caution to the wind in a time of crisis. You ARE certainly Sebastian’s brother.”

She mockingly holds her arms out in a shooting pose and imitates Bach’s voice badly. “Eat plasma shit! Motherfucking government surplus! Really? A bold leap from cover AND a one liner? We should put you on the Next Adventurers of Nexus if you keep that up.”

Bach rolls his head away with a grumble as he feels his pride search for an escape route from him. Sotalia pats Bach on shoulder and he turns his head back to face her. She looks upon him kindly. “All that aside. You did good getting the heat off Cideeda and Dretphi. So... Thank you. But, next time you piss off a battle bot, head for cover afterwards will you?”

Bach weakly nods and then focuses his eyes on Sotalia’s. “Um...”

Sotalia notices Bach’s strange stare and puzzles at this odd attention. “Yes?”

Bach twists his mouth with a bit of uncertainty in his expression. “You know your eyes are gold on black at the moment, right?”

Sotalia momentarily frowns and groans with heavy annoyance as she looks away. “I do now. But, I’m not surprised.”

She waves a dismissive hand around and drones on technical. “It’s a Magically Reactive Biological Trait that is common with those of Emin linage. Thankfully, it only happens when I dump a lot of magic out.”

A pouch snap clicks off as Sotalia pulls the top flap open. She feels around inside and withdraws a vial with a label that she reads. She sets it to the side. Bach feels Sotalia’s hand under his neck as she works his helmet off. She removes the helmet of the side and carefully lifts Bach’s head up. “Let’s get this down you, it’ll help get the magical flow going and electrolyte balance right.”

Bach barely manages a shrug and opens his mouth. Sotalia retrieves the vial, pops the cork off, and pours the contents into his mouth. Bach almost closes one eye in a wince and strains a swallow down. Sotalia immediately reads Bach’s reaction, curls a lip, and sniffs the vial. “I thought I did okay with flavoring with this batch. I followed the instructions exactly as Aristespha wrote them. It even smells right.”

Bach glances over at Sotalia. “What flavor is it suppose to be?”

Sotalia’s eyes drop down to Bach and she dons a very unamused expression. “Cherry.”

Bach’s eyes drift away from Sotalia’s developing glare and he twists his mouth. “How do you define... Cherry?”

Sotalia lowers Bach’s head back down and crosses her arms with a pout on her face. “Dump all this magic into these potions and you are telling me the flavoring is off?”

Bach squints into his mind briefly and perks a brow of curiosity at Sotalia. “Speaking of dumping magic... You managed to freeze the air down and pipe liquid nitrogen at that robot. Correct?”

Sotalia sits up straighter with pride and beams at Bach. “Yes. That is correct. It’s a composite spell I weaved a while back. Unfortunately, it takes a while and a lot of energy. But, I believe you can’t argue with the results.”

Bach nods with a bit more strength. “I certainly can’t. Completely devastated that bot. Pretty sure Dretphi could have punched it to pieces with how brittle it was.”

Bach returns his sights to the passing clouds overhead, and curls a lip with disappointment bubbling to his face. “Damn, I really thought D-Ball would take it out. But, I’m still not there yet.”

Sotalia shakes her head, snorts, and aims Bach’s head at her. “Bach. Take it from someone who always wanted to be THE one that saves the day... But learned otherwise. It’s not important to land the final shot. It’s important to make that final shot even possible.”

Bach maintains eye contact with Sotalia. After a few seconds, she reaches out, puts her hand on top his long hair, and ruffles it, with a warm smile. Her eyes catch something along his collar line. She runs a finger underneath his shirt collar and lifts it away. “Looks like you got some burns there. I’m going to go check to see how far along Aristespha is in patching up Cideeda’s ass. I’ll get some burn cream for you at least.”

Sotalia gets her feet underneath herself and pushes up. Midway through her transit to stand, her legs wobble. Her arms spread out and she braces herself against the concrete barrier. She glances around, shifts her weight against the barrier, and gently eases herself back on to the ground. Bach turns his head with a smug smile at her. “There’s no rush. Sit down. Watch the clouds for awhile.”

Grumbling to herself, she fetches a vial from her belt. With quick motion, she tosses back the liquid down her throat, contorts her face, and coughs. “Oh gods! Wow! I owe Dretphi an apology. This tastes awful!”

Bach stares unamused at Sotalia. She glances over Bach and swallows her pride. “And, sorry to you, too. I had no idea.”

Sotalia scoots over and places her back up against the concrete barrier and looks up into the sky. Bach returns his eyes back to the sky also. “Next time we train, could you do that spell again? I’d actually like to examine one that up close.”

Sotalia dons a wicked smile and provocatively eyes Bach. “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.”

Bach closes his eyes hard and opens with an awkward uncertainty. He lifts his head up to meet Sotalia’s face, but she quickly turns her face away to a passing cloud. Bach lowers his head back down and meekly responds. “Sure.”

Sotalia simply nods, hiding her sheer amusement from Bach.

 

Through the waving sheets of rain, the Pancake Shed sign faintly illuminates the lone highway intersection. At this time just after midnight, the traffic lights simply blink red and swing along with the storm. Lights inside the Pancake Shed restaurant shine in stark contrast to the night and cast a glow upon the parking lot surrounding the building. An older Grath woman with gray-streaked black hair scrapes the grill top effortlessly and guides the refuse into a hole off the side. A middle-aged human woman plays with her curly hazel hair as her eyes trace various figures on a clipboard. “Well, Triti, I think this is it until Havok’s bar closes at three. This storm is something else.”

Triti nods as she finishes cleaning off the last bit from the grill top. “Big storm. Happens rarely.”

The human woman taps menu buttons on her aetherphone and a radar weather map cycles through an animation. She shakes head and gazes out the window store front. Flashes of light erupt in the distance and spider across the sky. Her eyes drift back to the clipboard full of sales figures and supply notes. “The storm probably picked up something when it passed over that damn weird zone. Oh well. It’ll be a nice break after dealing with those adventurers with the camera crew.”

A long growling groan fills the air near Triti and she stabs the scraper tool corner first into a wooden knife block... but not in any slot for a knife. She steps to the side to a sink, turns on the water, and washes her hands. She faintly mutters a variety of curses under her breath. The human woman spins around and narrows her eyes Triti. “Hey! I thought we agreed. If you are going to say something bad about a customer...”

The woman picks up her clipboard and slides next to Triti with a devious glint in her eye. “Say it so I can hear it.”

Triti cracks the start of a smile from the corner of her mouth and speaks her mind a little above a whisper. “They were not natural.”

The other woman laughs and lifts the clipboard up a bit higher to hide sight of her mouth. “Oh, they HAD to be magically enhanced. With the way she was flaunting them? I’ve paraded around dresses I got on sale less shamelessly than her.”

A pair of headlights shine down the highway and through the rain. A yellow light blinks out of the front corner of the shadowy, rain-breaking mass. It turns into the lot, pulls into a spot close to the entry, and releases a fading whine as the powerplant spins down. The rear driver’s side door cracks open, a gloved finger pokes out, and a thin sheet of magical energy expands outwards. In a few seconds, a floating rain barrier stretches over the humvee with a path to the front door.

The human woman giggles and snickers. “I almost wish that Rekeeka worked today. She would have flipped seeing how that Fvalian girl was dressed up.”

An electronic door chime rings out from a box above the entrance doors. Both human woman and Triti shift their attention to towards the entry. Aristespha, Bach, Cideeda, Dretphi, and Sotalia stand in the small entryway as the door closes with another chime. Aristespha takes her gloves off and tucks them away in a pocket. She attempts to in vain to straighten up her attire and then just accepts the state of her clothing. Bach rubs the bandage around the base of his neck and pulls a worn t-shirt away. He brushes some dirt off his pants, but stops when flakes of charred cloth break off along with dirt. Dretphi stretches her arms and back out in small motions with a wince. She pulls on her long sleeve shirt and looks underneath with a slight frown. Sotalia slouches forward as she covers a yawn with her hand. She blinks repeatedly and drowsily scans around the area, fighting off the urge for another yawn. In shorts and a tank top, Cideeda holds on to Pancake Shed card as she tucks a pillow underneath her shoulder. The human woman and Triti exchange glances with sparks of recognition. The woman walks to the front register, places her clipboard down, and gazes at the group. “I say this not just out of Pancake Shed policy, but you all can take whatever seats you want. I’ll be right with you.”

The group moves towards the largest table. Bach slowly eases himself into a seat, and cringes when his back settles against the chair. Dretphi slowly works her way to the seat and briefly grits her teeth as a few movements irritate her. Aristeshpa slides out the chair and sits down. Sotalia lazily drags out the chair and slumps down, placing arms on the tabletop and resting her head down upon them. Cideeda turns her chair around ninety degrees, places her pillow on the chair, and carefully lowers herself. She leans her side on the chair back and throws an arm over the top, her tail waving slowly. The woman arrives with menus in hand and looks the group over. “Welcome to Pancake Shed, I’m Clara. I’ll be your server this fine early morning. Is some coffee in order or anything else to start with?”

Sotalia lifts her head up and yawns. “Coffee. Please.”

A unanimous agreement chains around the table to everyone else in the group. Clara nods with knowing smile. “I’ll bring a few pots just for you all with all the fixings.”

Cideeda hoists up her Pancake Shed card near Clara. Clara plucks it out of Cideeda’s hand, perks a brow, and smiles. “Shed Stack for you. Anything else before I get the coffee?”

Dretphi raises her hand up and gets Clara’s attention. “May I ask your cook a question?”

Clara shrugs and waves at Triti. “Hey, Triti, the lady has a question for you.”

Triti slowly turns her head to Dretphi. Dretphi bows slightly and speaks a long elaborate sentence her native language. Triti thinks and her eyes search her mind. With a single nod and a grin she responds back. A smile sneaks onto Dretphi’s face and she gives another slight bow. Aristespha glances over at Dretphi with curiosity. “What did she say?”

Dretphi smiles in full now. “It is not a stone top. It should still get honorably close.”

Clara steps away from the table and walks straight to the coffee machines. The group rests at the table in silence. Everyone individually drifts in their own minds about the events of the day and mindlessly drift eyes upon the menus. Clara and Triti chat briefly and the two look over a few times. Clara returns to the table with two pots of coffee, mugs, and extras. She spreads them out to everyone at the table. Clara examines the group, sighs, and address them. “Okay. It’s none of my business, but I got to know what you all did today. If nothing else, the coffee is on the house. You all seem to need it more than it needs to sit in the brewing tank.”

Sotalia draws a slow grin as she perks up. “Eat plasma shit. Motherfucking government surplus.”

Bach sinks into his chair and groans as the laughter erupts from the rest of the table, even a quiet ethereal chuckle from the sword at Aristespha side. “I’m never going to live that down. Am I?”

Clara takes orders in between hearing the different perspectives of the latest mission with Triti listening nearby.

 

“A near maelstrom stage storm passed over the town of Amaranth Valley from the borderlands. Local authorities report that no casualties or injuries. The mayor of Amaranth Valley went on to praise the efforts public services and the Greater Azure Alliance specialists that have been serving in the area lately to assist in the local guild office efforts to manage nearby ruins. Authorities still warn citizens to be on alert for flooding and to avoid travel in flooded or flood prone areas for the next few days until the water table settles-”

Cideeda lays belly down on a pile of pillows upon half the couch. Her ears flick a few times and sighs. “Okay. I can’t stand hearing the same news stories over again. Could someone next to the remote change it? I think the Research Channel is doing a marathon of Tech of the Ruins.”

Dretphi eyes the remote on the coffee table from her seat on the couch. She stares at the remote and sighs. Her tank top and shorts cover barely any of the various bruises and welts across her body. She grimaces and readies herself to lean forward. Just as she starts to get up, Bach pulls himself out of his chair, plucks the remote off the coffee table, and aims it at the television. “What channel is it again?”

Dretphi settles back down into the couch and exhales in relief. Cideeda rolls her eyes around the top of her head and thinks. “Four dash two nine? I know it’s around there.”

Bach presses a few buttons on the remote and rubs his back with his free hand. After a drifting between a few channels, the Research Channel title pops on the screen. Bach reaches over the coffee table and hands the remote to Cideeda. “I’ll let you handle this. Anyone need anything while I’m up? Wanted to grab a drink anyway.”

Dretphi retrieves a cold pack from behind her back, unwraps one from around her shoulder, and strains to pull one off her leg. She holds the bundle of cold packs in the air and looks at Bach. Cideeda slips a hand behind her shirt, unstraps a pack, and hoists it up in the air, too. Bach grabs all the packs in his hands and glances over at Sotalia. “You need anything, Sotalia? ... Sotalia?”

Sotalia snores loudly, startles briefly, and then rolls over in the couch chair. Her subconscious mind directs her hands to pull the blanket back securely over herself. Bach quirks a brow and looks between Cideeda and Dretphi. “Wow. She is out for the count.”

Cideeda crosses her arms on the pillows and underneath her head with an eye roll. “She’ll be fine around dinner. This only happens when she really goes all out and drains her reserves.”

Dretphi chuckles quietly, shakes her head, and flashes a smile at Bach. “She was given an opportunity. She wanted to show off.”

Bach shrugs and pivots around to walk towards the kitchen. He opens the refrigerator, tosses the warm cold packs in, and digs around for fresh ones. He quickly puts a hand on his lower back when he leans forward a bit too far and slowly straightens back up with a cringe. “Not that I don’t appreciate the wonders of magical medicine, but damn I wish there was something for the aches.”

Dretphi nods slowly and lifts her feet up on the coffee table. Cideeda tucks the remote between two pillows under her and carefully stretches her arms out. “You and me both. But, sparing use of the powerful pain management magic is the best practice. I knew a guy who got addicted to healing potions.”

Bach hands Dretphi two cold packs and slowly leans over to place a third on her leg. “Really?! That’s a pretty expensive addiction. I bet that didn’t win him any friends.”

Cideeda shakes her head wide-eyed as she remembers. “Well, he was fine... Until he started stealing from party members.”

Bach secures the wrap around Dretphi’s leg and hands the last fresh cold pack to an awaiting Cideeda. “What happened to him? I don’t think any good can happen if you are doing crazy shit like that.”

Cideeda secures the new cold pack under her shirt and wraps her arms around the piles of pillows. “Ah, he eventually got help. Had to go through some pain tolerance reconditioning for the withdrawal hyper-sensitivity. From what I heard, it’s usually a one time thing for most people. Most don’t go for a second time.”

Bach blinks a few times and eases back into his chair. He stares at the television screen.

“On this episode of Tech of the Ruins, we take an in depth look at security robots, drones, androids, and cyborgs. How were they created and what were they used fo-”

The channel on the television changes mid sentence and flips to another show. Cideeda slowly brings her arm back and returns the remote between the pillows, while the twitch in her eye fades. “We’ll try that marathon later.”

The front door opens and Aristespha strolls in gripping a large sack in each hand. She presses a foot on the door and closes it. She quickly walks into the dining area, hoists the two sacks on the tabletop, and takes her hat off. “Took three times and a manager to the get the order right, but we have the finest greasy burgers this town can offer.”

Cideeda cranes her head around to Aristespha with a toothy grin. “Any new dents on the humvee?”

Aristespha places her hands on her sides, sways her hips, and bites her lip as her eyes wander. “No. But. I may have cut off one of Next Adventurers of Nexus vans. I may have also used choice language and gestures, too.”

The ethereal voice of Sebastian echoes, as his visage materializes. “To which I fully approved of. You did signal anyway.”

Aristespha removes various bags, cartons, and containers from the two large sacks. She spins around, steps over to Bach, and hooks a finger around the collar of his shirt. She examines around his neck and nods. “Looks like most of the burn has healed. Back and chest feeling any better?”

Bach shrugs and waves a finger behind him. “Much better. Still sore when I move certain ways.”

Aristespha releases Bach’s shirt with a smile. “It should be safe for you take a few aspirin. We’ll have to wait and see to see if there’s a muscle group that needs more attention.”

She directs her attention at Dretphi and sighs. “Looks another dose of the anti-contusion and anti-swelling mix for you.”

Dretphi curls a lip and sneers as she grumbles away from Aristespha. Aristespha crosses her arms and shakes her head. “Now. Now. My potions have the proper amounts of flavoring. You’ll feel and look a lot better. I promise. You can also mix it with your drink.”

Aristespha gracefully steps around to Cideeda, slowly flips the back of her shirt up, and then lifts the waistband of her shorts up. She quickly assesses and returns the garments to their original positions. “Probably another day and the swelling should go down. Still touchy on the upper back?”

Cideeda slowly nods and sighs. “Yes, doctor. Trying to keep it elevated. It seems to help a bit.”

Aristespha nods and eyes Sotalia with a wry smirk. “Has she moved from that spot since this morning?”

Bach, Cideeda, and Dretphi shake their heads. Aristespha moves over to the dining table, picks up a carton, and returns to a spot next to Sotalia. She cracks open the box and gently fans the scent of food towards Sotalia. A second after the smell enters her nose, she sniffles loudly and stirs in the chair. She sits up and squirms around as sleep releases her to consciousness. Her hands drift to her face and she rubs the sleep out. Her eyes flutter open and she lethargically gazes at everyone. “Hey.”

Aristespha covers her mouth with her free hand and stifles a giggle. Cideeda presses her jaw down pass her crossed arms into the pillow. Dretphi tightens her lips as her eyes search the other reactions. Bach and Sebastian exchange looks, and Sebastian ethereally snorts while Bach laughs. Sotalia awakens fully and glares for clues. “What?! Are my scleras still black?”

Sotalia fishes her phone out of her robe pocket, presses a camera app open, and stares at the screen. “What is so funny- OH GODS DAMMIT!”

She narrows her eyes at the screen as she sees herself. One eye has a black sclera. The other has a white sclera. She puts her phone away and crosses arms with a pout. “Always! Can’t fade to shades of gray. Or change back in sync. Nope! Has to be one before the other.”

 

Bach stares at the pile of cartons in front of Sotalia and wanders his gaze at the pile in front of Dretphi. The two piles share a similar height upon the dining table top. The objectively curious part of Bach’s mind raises a good question and seeks the vocal centers to relay this thought to the outside world. Common sense and self-preservation cross tackle curiosity and remind it that some questions are best left alone. Aristespha retrieves her aetherphone from her pants pocket and places it upon the table with a sly grin. “Since everyone is here, I wanted to share this interesting voice mail I got from Captain Hackle of the Greater Azure Alliance Specialist Squad.”

Everyone exchanges looks at the table as Aristespha taps the play button on the phone’s menu.

“Hello. This Captain Hackle of the Greater Azure Alliance. I apologize if this is not the correct means of contacting your group, but it was the only means granted to me by the local guild office. First, I would like to congratulate you on a... Successful operation in handling the rogue security robot. We are currently securing the site and surrounding areas as indicated by the guild’s request for containment assistance. This brings me to the reason for this call. While we have collected most of the security robot, we are missing some components. Namely, the head and both arm mounted weapon systems.”

Cideeda and Dretphi glance at each other and then to the wall behind them. A security robot head lays on its side with a plasma projectile cannon and minigun propped upon it. Dretphi pulls smug smile. Cideeda returns with a wide, toothy grin and whispers loudly. “They may be looking for a while.”

“As per local, state, and other such laws, you are not under any obligation to assist any further than the initial requirement of your contract with the guild. However, I would recommend that you consider providing assistance as a professional courtesy that I would happily repay when the time comes.”

Another irritated voice rises up from the background noise of the recording.

“Wait a minute... Are the same assholes from that cyborg den?! ... What the fuck did they do to this thing?! Plasma burns, part of it is... Disintegrated?! Holy shit! They froze this thing and blew it up! Motherfucker. And thought the dick who put that barrier around that base entry was troublesome enough. Where are they finding these people?!”

Captain Hackle grumbles over the sounds of a microphone readjusting.

“As I’ve been... Informed... by Specialist Theyal... You are the same group that rescued the... Unfortunately titled adventurers. Again, I would strongly recommend at least a meeting between my group and yours at your earliest convenience. I strongly believe that we may be able to assist each other in future endeavors. Please contact me at the number and aethermail I have attached to this voice mail. Thank you and have a nice day.”

The phone silences and returns to another menu prompt. Sotalia muffles a burp and barely contains her sheer prideful amusement. “Wow. We’re making friends in all kinds of places.”

Bach warily eyes Aristespha’s phone and tilts his head away. “Uh, I think friend is a strong word. Maybe, associate? I suggest if we do meet them, we do it somewhere public?”

Aristespha shakes her head and rolls her eyes as she brushes back her long hair. “It’ll be fine. They’re a very decorated, but very offbeat group. They’re just adventurers under the military umbrella for all purposes. I’m curious if they have some information we don’t have.”

Sebastian hovers over Aristespha’s shoulder and gazes at her phone as she flips through messages. “Dear, speaking of information, any word from your friend Nash over at the Grand Library?”

Aristespha lifts up the phone stares the screen and quirks an eye brow. “Nothing new since last night when he responded to my initial message. But, he’s probably just waking up. I’ll send him an aethermail to call me.”

Sebastian scratches the back of his head and puzzles at Aristespha. “Why not just call him?”

Aristespha taps the last few characters of the message and sends it out. She places the phone back on the tabletop. “Won’t work. Being a head of a department his official phone gets constantly rung by everyone. So, it’s usually on silent. He has a personal phone he only lets family know of. For everyone else, the best route is an aethermail.”

The phone plays a new chime and vibrates on the table. She grins deviously as she answers and places the phone up to her ear. “Let me guess, passed out in front of the console after watching videos waiting for something to process?”

A long silence follows before the speaker on the phone sounds out a response. Aristespha maintains her grin and takes the phone away from her ear, pressing a button on screen. “Well, wake up, you’re on speakerphone.”

Nash’s voice resonates out Aristespha’s aetherphone. “Damn, woman. Wake me up and already put me out in front of an audience. Slave driver. So, who’s all there?”

Aristespha rotates a point to everyone at the table and each says their name. Nash yawns loudly and grumbles to a more aware state. “Okay! Suppose you all want my expert analysis of the bits and pieces you send over? I mean, I got some really good soup and hot sauce recipes I’m willing to share, too.”

Aristespha eye rolls and sighs. “Your culinary wisdom will have to wait. What have you found out?”

Nash dramatically sighs back over the speakerphone. “Fine. Some day, though. Well, when it comes to the tidbits you sent. All I can figure after looking it over... It’s GOT to be some mapping data. The formatting and patterns just scream it. Unfortunately, I don’t got much more past that. Have to figure out the exact time period, which government had their hand in it, and all the other factors. Then, there’s this whole thing with all these extra vectors and dimensions it’s tracking.”

Cideeda leans forward and directs her voice to the phone with a bit of curiosity in her expression. “Could it be just part of the data set or maybe an index?”

Nash responds with an equally intrigued tone. “You know I thought that too, but the formatting isn’t right. It’s strictly header then data, repeating. So... What is it indexing? But, anyway. I’ll see what I can do. I think we might have a system that might be a close match, given we get the rest of the system dumps?”

Aristespha nods, placing her head on her intertwined fingers. “I think we can do that. Send me the transfer account and link?”

Sounds of keys clack in the background while Nash hems. “Yep, I’ll get that to you right about now. I keep a few anonymous accounts for such reasons. I’ll see if I can sneak you all some Finder’s Reward from the department acquisitions account. Might take a while...”

Aristespha lowers her head closer to the phone and speaks in a lower tone. “What did you DO this time?”

A long pause hovers in the air around the phone, before a long drawn out groan echoes through from Nash. “You know. I make strides in nurturing inter-department cooperation and worked with the materials science guys to buy a mass document incinerator since they were a bit short at the end of the budget year.”

Aristespha maintains her tone and questions again. “What was it REALLY?”

Nash takes a long breath and exhales equally long before slipping a response at the very end. “... a military surplus flamethrower...”

Cideeda snorts and breaks out laughing. Dretphi’s eyes open fully as she stares at the phone. Bach and Sebastian nod at each other with a mixture of amazement and respect to such a feat. Sotalia glares at Aristespha and mouths, “Who the fuck is this guy?!”

Aristespha sits back and simply shakes her head with a chuckle. “Did the deans ever stop being mad at you for smuggling those kegs of beer through the department purchasing system for the graduation party?”

Nash laughs and chuckles for a few seconds. “Mad? Well, officially they do not condone such misuse. Unofficially, they’ve been using that same trick with that same local brewery. That place has the craziest beer names now on their roster. It’s made them pretty popular.”

Aristespha bites her lip with a sly smile as her eyes look up into her memory. “That was a really good party, though.”

An office chair squeaks over the speaker and Nash gives a few last chuckles. “I know. Well, I won’t pester you all any further. I’m going to hunt down a few graduate assistants and press-gang them into actually doing some work. I’ll message you with the progress and call you if I get any breakthroughs. Don’t know how long it’s going to be. I’ll hopefully know more later.”

Aristespha nods. “That will work. You take care.”

Nash’s voice comes over the speaker phone one last time. “Will do. You all do the same.”

The phone switches back to the menu screen and Aristespha tucks the phone away in a pant pocket. “So, that’s Nash for you.”

Sebastian crosses his arms and shrugs. “Seems like an interesting fellow.”

 

Bach lifts the remote at the television and flips through a few more channels. “There nothing on. I forgot how bad mid-week, mid-day television is.”

Cideeda squirms into her pile of pillows behind her back and underneath her as she sits on the couch. “I know. But, until the holoplayer is done uploading everything into to that account Nash sent us, I don’t want to bother it. Connection speed is slow enough as it as, I don’t want to have to restart it.”

Dretphi stretches her neck side to side and glances over to Cideeda. “Should we try the marathon again?”

Cideeda lowers her ears and groans with a frown. “Not yet. I looked up the schedule and the whole bots and cyborgs thing is a few episodes. Out of all the things to make a multi-part series.”

Sotalia walks in through the hallway, no longer wearing a her house robe but a simple shirt and short combination. She gazes over at the group, the sclera in both her eyes now a typical white. “I’ve had enough robot and cyborgs to last me a while.”

She glances over to her side and scrutinizes the robot head near the dining table. “I can guess the plans for the two big guns, but why did you take the head of that bot?”

Cideeda slowly puts her arms behind her head and pulls a toothy grin. “Mostly as a trophy. And, judging by how quick it was to target us, I bet there’s some choice parts in there.”

Sotalia shakes her head with a smile and slowly plods over to the sliding glass window. She looks out onto the backyard with the afternoon sun overhead. She squints her eyes, puts her hands on her hips, sways, and pulls her mouth to a corner. “Huh. Sebastian is rushing back here awfully quick.”

Sebastian phases through the sliding glass window and flies through the room, down the hallway. He jets straight to Aristespha’s room. “Dear, I need you to get the sword and follow me! There’s something I think we all need to get a better look at. I can’t get close enough to get a clear look.”

A minute later with some awkward glances between Bach, Cideeda, Dretphi, and Sotalia. Sebastian glides out of the hallway in the living room and gestures everyone to follow him. “Follow me. I really hope I’m wrong about this.”

Aristespha moves out from the hallway, holding the sword in scabbard. The group falls in behind Sebastian and they trudge across the large backyard. Eventually, they find themselves at the corner of the property lot. Sebastian points over to the lot diagonal and gestures over at the house. “You know that house I mentioned that had someone going through it?”

Aristespha crosses arms and squints her eyes to the distant house. “Yes? The one I said someone was probably getting ready to rent out?”

Sebastian groans reluctantly and snaps a point to one of the vehicles near the house. “Well, looks like they’re moving in.”

Cideeda steps forward, puts a hand above her eyes, and focuses on the distant target. Her eye twitches and she grits her teeth. “No. No way. How?!”

Dretphi quirks an eye brow at Cideeda and directs her attention in the same direction. She spots a tall, unfortunately familiar figure carrying adventuring equipment from a vehicle. She growls to herself and places her face well into the palm of her hand. “Of all things...”

Sotalia moves her hands in exacting motions and chants a quick incantation. She holds her hands in front with finger tips touching and stares through. Mere moments later she grimaces and grabs her horns swearing a few different languages. She steps angrily away and grumbles to herself. Bach eyes Sebastian and slowly sighs with a wary frown. “I can’t exactly make it out, but I think the mass of people with recording equipment gives it away.”

Sebastian nods as his ethereal form pinches the bridge of his nose. “Yes. It was exactly what I thought. Well, at least we know where they’re at. Great. Well, let’s head back before anyone notices us. Dear?”

Sebastian hovers to side of Aristespha and drifts cautiously in front of her. “Hey. Dear? Let’s go back to the house. And...”

Aristespha’s facial skin tone reddens from its normally pale color and her grip shakes around the sword. Her head tilts to one shoulder with a crack and then tilts to other with another similar crack. She grits her teeth, hisses as air draws through, and screams out. “FUCK!”

Next to the house in the middle of the crews and adventurers, Samantha snaps her head to the direction of the angry voice with a smug smile. She waves with her free hand at the group in the distance and she holds her aetherphone close to her head. “Good news, Howie! Looks like the locals have just found about their new neighbors.”

A dark, ominous laugh bellows forth from the speaker of the phone, growing in volume with each passing second. Eventually, it rests and Howards voice speaks. “Good. Very good.”



Submitted May 30, 2017 at 01:14AM by Lakstoties http://ift.tt/2s7BpfY HFY