Sunday, January 31, 2016

[M4F] “Shouldn’t you be leaving to pick up the foreign exchange student?” dirtypenpals

“Come on honey, just a quickie?” You whispered into his ear, pushing your perky breasts up against his long-sleeved business shirt. Your fingers snaked up his torso’s front, trailing from his waist to the buttons which you were beginning to undo. “He’s been on a 12 hour flight, he can wait another half hour for me to arrive.”

Your husband took hold of your wrists momentarily. In that second, you thought that perhaps you’d get laid for the first time in god knows how long, only for him to push your hands away. “Babe I’d love to, but today’s staff meeting was just absolutely stressful and I really just want to relax for a couple hours. Maybe before we go to bed? And besides, we shouldn’t be keeping him waiting.”

You sighed, then snapped, “Fine. Before bed tonight. I’ll be back in an hour and a half, see you then.” Fetching your keys from the familiar ceramic bowl, you slammed the front door on your way out, but you knew he wouldn’t notice with his head burrowed inside the refrigerator holding all his beer bottles.

How did it go so wrong? You wondered, suddenly exhausted, your eyes almost on the verge of tears as you flipped on the headlights. We promised each other we wouldn’t be ‘that married couple’, and yet… here we are. Everyone always said the flame of carnal desire burned out eventually in a marriage, but for it to happen at 32? We should’ve been devouring each other until 35, at the very least, ideally until our forties.

Miraculously you didn’t crash your vehicle on the drive there. Idly, you picked up the poster roll with the name ‘Christian Koeller’ painted over it and rested it on your shoulder, dragging your feet toward waiting section for the incoming arrivals. This foreign exchange student was your husband’s idea. Because of his work at a prestigious university and his desire to achieve a permanent spot in its staff, he figured that if he participated in this housing program, which the dean heavily approved of, it would increase his chances of locking down a professor job for the next decade. So over the past half year he eventually broke down your resistance, culminating in this very moment.

There was a tap on your shoulder followed by a German accent. “Mrs. Esmerelda?” You turned around, almost dropping your jaw at the young man standing before you.

Tall, clearly athletic, lean, wavy dirty blonde hair, a dazzling smile, blue eyes, a defined jaw, just the perfect amount of stubble. Like someone took a Prince Charming out of the fairy tales, roughed him up a little bit and dropped him right on the linoleum right in front of you. “Uh yeah, that’s me.” You stammered, examining me from head to toe before staring at the sign in your trembling hands. “And you must be uh Christian Koeller?”

“Yes, that’s right. I heard I’d be living with a married couple, with no kids, but I didn’t imagine you to be so young. And still so pretty.” I smiled, scratching my hair slightly. “Is your husband with you?”

“Oh.” You frowned, realizing he was probably passed out in front of the television this very moment. “No, he’s had a long day, but my car’s outside, so let’s take you back to my home, okay?”

The two of us chatted on the drive home, about each other’s backgrounds, your marriage, my education until we arrived at your doorstep. You showed me the guest bedroom, leaving me to get settled as you retreated to your own bedroom, already knowing you were going to be disappointed. And sure enough you were, your husband being fast asleep. But then again, you would’ve been foolish to actually expect otherwise.

An aggravating two weeks followed, predictably sexless, but you hadn’t predicted the immense sexual tension. Perhaps you were imagining it. But you didn’t dare confide in your husband, or did you not want to? After all, you couldn’t remember the last time since a handsome young 20-something glanced at your curves so appreciatively? Once, while you were changing I passed by your door and you panicked, shutting it immediately upon noticing my presence. But something warm, lustful flickered inside of you, and the next time you were changing, your door was flung wide open. This time, when I passed by, you didn’t hide or shrink away, but continued boldly. However you didn’t throw a lustful stare in return. After all, you were faithful to your husband no? But the attention was enjoyable nevertheless.

You spent more time on your appearance, buying new lingerie, skimpier outfits that revealed more skin. After all, the west coast was warm even in the fall. “You’re looking great today, when’d you go shopping?” I complimented one afternoon after returning from class. “Gosh, you look better than most of my classmates.” You blushed at that, brushing your hair back, biting your lip. But the temptation was rising. As I was growing more comfortable living in your house, I’d walk out of the bathroom in only my boxers after my showers. The outline of my cock through my undergarments, without a doubt larger than your husbands almost made your mouth water. You’d sneak glances whenever possible, barely avoiding detection, imaging how it felt to hold it in your-

Wait a second. I can’t be thinking like that. You panicked, shutting those thoughts off. And yet…

And then the final straw was a girl’s pleasured moans emanating through the wall separating our bedrooms. Most likely I’d brought back another student in the dead of the night. Your husband, who wore earplugs regularly to bed, couldn’t hear the sound but your loins moistened at the gasps and squeaking mattress. Within moments, your fingers had crept down to that region, teasing you further until reason and logic fell apart to a sexual hunger.

You needed a cock. And at this point, you weren’t even sure it had to be your husband’s anymore.


My seventh prompt. Kinks and DPP Profile.



Submitted February 01, 2016 at 12:15PM by Ernest_Gangbangway http://ift.tt/1VB3Zhq dirtypenpals

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Submitted February 01, 2016 at 10:39AM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/1Q5JGEH FreeStuffNYC

Broken Pipes (Part 4) nosleep

(More names changed due to privacy)

Opening my eyes, my mind was in a daze as I woke up but a second later, I was alert and jumped up from the chair as I remembered the events of last night. Looking for John in his chair, it was empty. However, I smelled bacon and walking into the kitchen, he was there making breakfast.

"Hey, I've got bacon and eggs ready if you want a plate and a fresh pot of coffee."

"Actually, do you have orange juice? I think if I drink another cup of coffee, I'm going to puke."

Heading to the refrigerator, I sat down and grabbed a plate of food. Coming back over, he poured me a glass and sat down to eat. It was quiet for several minutes as we ate, but it wasn't like I was scared of asking, at least not now. It was strange how everything seemed to change in the daytime, where there was no more fear. I wonder why people in nature don't like the darkness?

However, as I finished my OJ, I needed to know what had happened after I fell asleep.

"Did the guy come back last night?"

"No, he didn't show up. About 6:00 in the morning when it was light enough, I went to where he was standing but I couldn't find anything. It's about 8:00 right now and the cops will be coming back with their dogs in an hour or so. We can also show them the raccoon's and see if they want to take the bodies to try to figure out what happened to them."

Nodding slowly, he left the room for a second and came back before putting down money in front of me. Counting it, I was surprised to find $1000 in there.

"I thought you said $500?"

"$1000 because of what happened last night. You didn't need to stay but you did. I thank you for that. There are only a few people who I know who would stand by my side."

Giving a small smile, I finished up my food and we waited for the cops to come back. When they did, there were now seven of them with two large German Shepard's. We showed them the bodies of the raccoon's, which they took and put into a police van to have the animal control examine.

They went into the forest and searched for a little while but came back and said they were mystified. The three cops who had came last night said that the ravine was larger than they had thought due to how dark it was. They weren't sure of how someone was able to jump it.

They also examined the pipes and took them to run tests to see if there were any fingerprints on them, which had me silently hoping there would be. They were about to leave when John stopped them and showed the scarf.

"I called the other day and I asked about the disappearances on this property. I was told a girl disappeared back in the 40s. What was her name?"

Looking at the name, the cop who looked to be in charge had a strange look in his eyes.

"Ava James. It was a big case back then with dozens of people looking for the girl, but they never found her."

Breathing softly, I couldn't help but talk, a bit relieved despite the sadness of the situation.

"So, this scarf didn't belong to her..."

"No, I think it did. The girl's middle name was Millicent..."

Looking away, I ran a hand through my hair. John passed the scarf to them.

"I found the scarf where I've been putting my pipes in. I guess it's a crime scene now."

"I'm sorry, John, but we're going to have to come back out and tape the area off and dig. She may have been buried there and we'll need to see if the skeleton's there. Do you have a place you can go to?"

"Yeah, I can go to the motel for a few days..."

As they finished up, the officer called the sheriff, explaining the situation. John packed up a few things and the cops told me that they would talk to me if they had anymore questions. As John and I headed outside, I looked at him.

"John, I'm sorry..."

"I thought this was going to be nothing, but it isn't. I've got a possible body on my property and the guy who lived here before me also disappeared. Is his body on my property somewhere?"

I didn't know what to say, but he told me he would talk to me tomorrow. As I left and came back home, I fell asleep, still tired from what had happened. However, around 3:00, my phone rang. Picking it up, I didn't realize who it was until I heard a stern voice.

"You didn't call me..."

My girlfriend.

"Crap! I forgot! Look, give me two hours and I'll be over to pick you up. We're going out, remember? Night on the town?"

"Are we? You haven't talked to me, you're constantly working. What's the matter?"

"Look, we'll talk tonight, I promise."

As we both said our goodbyes, I jumped a hot shower and got dressed in a nice collared shirt and jacket before leaving. When I stopped at her place, she came outside in a beautiful dress. Getting out of the car, I opened the door for her, smiling.

"Damn, now I know what I've been missing."

Giving me a smile back, we kissed for a second before she got in and we headed off. Talking about her last few days for the ride, we finally came into the city and went to the restaurant where I managed to put my incident out of my mind for a few hours as we laughed and talked while we ate and drank.

Around dessert, she was eating slowly, looking at me.

"So, what happened? Why didn't you call?"

"It's... too strange to even say. Let's just say my mortgage is taken care of for the next two months and we can have some more fun."

As I took a bite out of my cake, I looked at her, feeling a bit foolish with my question.

"Let me ask you: do you believe in... weird stuff?"

Laughing, she gave me a wink.

"I thought that was why you started dating me."

Smiling, I pushed the food around with my fork.

"I mean, like in ghosts or UFOs or Bigfoot."

"Why, do you?"

"Heck, no! That's for little kids. Why would an adult believe in stuff like that?"

"My grandmother did. She told me when she was a little girl, she always saw the rocking chair in her room rock back and forth by itself. The woman who used to live in the house died in that room and my grandmother believed it was her spirit."

"A rocking chair ghost...?"

"I don't know. Have I ever seen anything like that? No, but I don' think we know of absolutely everything in this world. Maybe there's stuff out there that nobody knows of."

Thinking on the answer, we finished up dessert and paid the bill before heading home. I spent some time at her place until around midnight before coming back to mine when I came in. Sitting on my bed, I was wondering about the girl who disappeared and what I had seen when my phone rang.

Looking at it, it was John's number. Picking it up, I was surprised by him calling so late.

"John, it's Jake. What's up?"

"Can you take off work tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"Can you?"

"Sure, but why? What do you need?"

"I spent the day talking to people around town that I know of and I'm going to see a guy tomorrow and I'd like you to come. I'll pay you $500 just to be with me on this. I wanted some answers and I think this guy might have some."

"Who is he?"

"I'll explain in the morning. I'll come over to your place and pick you up around 7:00. It's a two hour drive where we're going."

"Alright..."

"Good, I'll see you tomorrow."

Hanging up, I fell back on my pillow, wondering what that was all about. It was like he was getting stranger by the minute. However, I wondered if he was wrong.



Submitted February 01, 2016 at 07:51AM by Arkham2015 http://ift.tt/1VAu8gr nosleep

Meal Prep #1 of the week- Butternut squash with mushroom soup, and broccoli salad. MealPrepSunday

2 Large butternut squash 2 red apples 1 red onion 1 yellow onion 2 1/4 cups of vegetable broth 1/3 cup apple juice I clove fresh garlic 1 oz. Sliced mushrooms

Over medium heat, cook onions, squash, apples, garlic, juice and broth for 25 min. or until soft. Puree that shit in the blender while you sauté the mushrooms in a drizzling of olive oil, and season to your liking. (I used salt, pepper and a small amount of brown sugar, and the natural flavor of these different veggies combined is plenty sweet and complex) Add mushrooms to puree mix

5 medium heads of Broccoli 2 red onions 1 cup of crushed or chopped almonds 1 cup (Golden) raisins Poppyseed salad dressing

Steam broccoli in a large pot. Add onions once broccoli is bright green, and cook over medium heat for about 5 minutes (I prefer the onions remain slightly crunchy). Drain. Back in the pot, add almonds and rasins. Stir and put into refrigerator. I usually add the dressing as I eat it, so it doesn't just collect in the bottom of my storage container



Submitted February 01, 2016 at 04:41AM by SaddleDaddy http://ift.tt/1RUpmfB MealPrepSunday

Food safety question food

We woke up this morning and the refrigerator was not keeping food cool. The thermometer read 83. We arent sure if it was closed all the way last night or if it just broke so we closed it now and are seeing if it is cold again in a few hours. The freezer is fine. My question is food, and what I need to toss. We are tossing eggs, milk, soft cheese, and the like. But what about short ribs and chicken thighs I had in there? Some trader joe's mirepoix, hard cheeses. Is anything aside from the beer and unopened wine salvageable?



Submitted February 01, 2016 at 12:03AM by changeout http://ift.tt/1PNWF3K food

Norman makes a sandwich. lifeofnorman

Norman entered his apartment a few minutes after noon on a Saturday. He set his keys in a bowl by the door, hung his coat on a hook, and walked into the kitchen. The sound of his footsteps changed as they met with linoleum.

Norman took a plate out of the cabinet and placed it on the counter. Then he opened his bread box, and took out the loaf of bread. He untwisted the wire bread tie, took two slices of bread out the bag, put them on the plate, and then tied the bag back up and put it back in the bread box.

Norman walked to the refrigerator, and opened the door. He felt cold air escaping. Norman retrieved a jar of mayonnaise, a package of ham, and an individually wrapped slice of American cheese. Norman closed the refrigerator door and returned to his plate on the counter, where the two slices of bread awaited their sandwich innards.

Norman took two slices of ham out of the package and placed them on the bread. Then he delicately opened the American cheese slice wrapping, taking care to not tear the cheese. He put the unwrapped cheese on the ham, opened the cabinet below the sink, and threw the wrapping in the trash.

Norman picked up the jar of mayonnaise and checked the expiration date. He had just bought the mayonnaise and knew it wasn't expired, but he looked anyway: Jun 2016. Below the expiration date were additional instructions: "Keep cool, don't freeze."

He opened the drawer, picked up a butter knife, opened the mayonnaise jar, scooped out some mayonnaise with the knife, and spread it across the slice of bread that didn't have ham and cheese on it.

Norman licked the extra mayonnaise off the knife and put it in the sink. Then he took the jar of mayonnaise and the package of ham back to the refrigerator, opened the door, put them back where they went, and closed the door.

Norman took the plate with the sandwich on it into the living room and set in on the coffee table. He sat down on the couch and looked at the sandwich for a second. He wondered why he had made a sandwich, he wasn't especially hunger. Norman ate the sandwich anyway.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 11:37PM by kingcobraninja http://ift.tt/1PNTFED lifeofnorman

Does anyone have any experience with CO buildup in their house? We have a situation and could use some advice. DIY

Our CO detector started going off last night and would not stop. I have read that this could be caused by a gas furnace (which we have) and sometimes by a refrigerator (which we have). We do not have a gas water heater or stove or clothes dryer and the propane furnace and electric hot water heater are in our basement. Last week we had the big East Coast snowstorm and we were housebound for several days. During that time we both suffered headaches and I have developed a very scratchy throat and cough, which I attributed to the dry air inside. We thought about calling the fire department to come out with one of their hand held detectors last night when this first started, but we were worried that they would put us out of our house in the middle of the night with two dogs and nowhere to go. Right now we have the furnace turned off, the fans going and the windows cracked. I'm going to call the furnace repair people tomorrow to come have a look and see if our furnace isn't working properly and I have ordered a digital CO detector on Amazon that will be here Tuesday. Has anyone had experience with this sort of thing and can you give us some guidance on what else to look for that could be causing this to happen? Are we overlooking something important? I realize this is a serious situation, but we live in a remote area and do not want to leave our home unattended, but then we don't want to die from CO poisoning either. Thanks in advance for any replies/advice. This is all new to us.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 11:01PM by OneIrishRover http://ift.tt/1QQvbJM DIY

My [17M] parents [49F/53M] shit me to tears, have no respect for me or my things relationships

This story kind of starts when I was a little kid. I always had digestive issues, always sick and back and forth to the doctor. At one point my doc suggested trying me out on a lactose and meat free diet. Parents didn't like that and took me to someone else who eventually suggested the same thing. Over time they stopped trying to help me.

When I was old enough to get it and sick of being sick all the time I started testing things myself. I stopped eating red meat to begin with, then white meats, eventually cut out dairy and I hardly ever got sick anymore. Meals were pretty boring because it was basically just the vegetable portion of the rest of the family's meals, but I started learning to cook for myself. When I was 15 I got a job and started buying the kinds of foodstuffs my parents thought were unnessesary, like tofu and vegan meats, cheese, almond milk etc. I'd plan out my meals and buy the things I needed for that week.

The thing is, my family will just use the things I buy. I'm at school all day and work most evenings/on weekends, and I'll come home to make dinner but half the ingredients will be gone. My mom will run out of cheese and just use mine - which is okay, but the stuff is $4 for 15 slices and she uses it on everyone's (6 people) sandwiches. Two days and it's all gone. She'll use the vegetables I buy in dinner that I can't eat. This also wouldn't be a problem, but she doesn't leave any leftovers. A head of broccoli would last me all week, but she uses it in a night.

At first she told me she was just confused about what she had bought and what I had so I started putting things in a plastic tub in the refrigerator. But she kept using it, and now the response is "you're not the only person in this house, you don't pay bills, it's not a big deal if I use X". Sometimes it seems like they use my things just to spite me, like I bought an eggplant which she apparently tried to use but messed it up so she threw the whole thing away, or she tried to bake with my almond milk but it didn't come out right (but she used the rest of the carton and won't replace it).

I don't know, maybe these things seem petty but can't I just feed myself? The whole reason they didn't want to change my diet was because it would be too much of an inconvenience. I pay for my food now, and they're making it inconvienient for me to maintain my diet by eating all the food it was too "inconvienient" for them to buy and use.

The last straw came yesterday. It was an older friend of mine's birthday. They're young and live alone and are very low income so we (me and other friends) wanted to help out and make sure they had a good time on their birthday. They're also vegan (for different reasons) so we ordered three boxes of these fancy fuck cupcakes for this party from a vegan bakery that shuts at midday on weekends. Another friend of mine picked them up in the morning on the way to work and dropped them at my place because he'd be picking me up after.

He came back to pick me up, we went to retrieve the cupcakes from the fridge and oh, a box is missing. I called my parents (who had disappeared at some point) and it turns out they took them for lunch at a family friend's house. I got upset obviously, because it wasn't for them to take and I hadn't even bought the things! I was just storing them for the day! And somehow again I'm being difficult and ungrateful to them.

Thank god the other two boxes were pushed back and behind things or they probably would have taken them too, and thank god someone else was also bringing a cake.

I just don't even know how to express to them that... It's not cool to do what they're doing? They always make me feel like I'm just being a brat if I dare complain about them using my things without asking. I seriously cannot afford to replace food at the rate they go through it, and they don't replace my things in return.

TL;DR: I guess my non-vegan family keeps using the vegan food I buy without asking me first, but they're not the ones who will end up with something akin to dysentery if they don't eat it. How can I make them see that this is a shitty thing for them to be doing?



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 11:04PM by angstyvego http://ift.tt/1nx9kvc relationships

GE Refrigerator for FREE!!!!! (Glen Head, NY) FreeStuffNYC

Runs great!! Good for a spare in garage or basement.

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Submitted January 31, 2016 at 08:40PM by fiplefip http://ift.tt/1Kj8Bbr FreeStuffNYC

Tenn. most wanted suspect found behind Ky. refrigerator news

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Submitted January 31, 2016 at 08:48PM by TokinN3rd http://ift.tt/1PqBSB7 news

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Me [34 M] with my GF [34F], Living with GF and her Daughter- Need Advice! relationships

I reconnected with a high school friend on a dating website over a year ago. We had been attracted to each other in high school but we ended up dating each other’s friends as a happenstance so we were just friends. Her and I kept in touch for years after high school but eventually stop hearing from one another.

After a few dates we started dating exclusively. I had been doing the online dating thing for a while and was finding trouble connecting with someone. Reconnecting with her from my past felt very natural and easy comparatively to other women I was meeting.

We filled each other in on the years inbetween. I had a 7 year relationship that ended in a divorce and she had a 6 year old daughter from a guy she had casually dated and then she lost a man she was engaged to when he died in an auto accident few years prior. So her and I were both coming into our relationship together with some heart aches and baggage. We are both early to mid 30s, tired of finding crap with online dating, and feeling that jealously/pressure of seeing everyone around us happily married, house, 2.5 kids, family vacations, ect. We were both having those visions and hopes that now that we have each other we can join the ranks of the happy and non-lonely people. We were feeling that fate had done its work in bringing us back together and the universe was giving us our happily ever after type of thing. In short- we were clicking.

She laid out very clearly early on that she was going to need a father figure for her daughter and she wanted a husband to have more children with. I expressed that I also had a desire to have and create my own family. I was apprehensive about being in a relationship with a single mother but because of the friendship and connection her and I had- I decided to press forward.

My girlfriend is a driven, goal oriented extrovert. She is a planner as they say. Once it was established in our relationship that we loved one another we started discussing future plans of marriage, house, and kids. The next logical step was having me move into her house.

As the move in date approached my anxiety level drastically went up. Admittedly I can be prone to anxiety issues. I had been living in a home that I own by myself for the last 4-5 years. I gave up on roommates after having some bad experiences and embracing my introvert self. Although I experienced bouts of painful lonesomeness the house overall felt to be a very safe and relaxing place for me. Ultimately, I decided I needed to be brave and not give up on my love so I give up my place and moved in with my girlfriend and her daughter.

I’ve been living there over 6 months now. It has been a very difficult time for me. I’ve found myself thrust into a situation that requires a high amount of responsibility, energy, sacrifice, and commitment. I suppose I had gotten used to a certain lifestyle by myself. My girlfriend has tried to make accommodations for my introvert nature by giving me the basement to claim as a man cave and giving me a night or so of minimal interactions. I still find myself feeling so incredibly drained despite those efforts.

Here is an important kicker. I don’t enjoy her daughter. I treasure any time where she isn’t home with us. She doesn’t do anything that unusual for a kid but damn I find living with a kid to be one of the more annoying things I have ever experienced. Her daughter enjoys me and continues to grow attached to me. I get her ready for school in the morning, tickle her, play barbies, help with homework, take her fun places, tuck her in at bedtime, buy her expensive birthday and Christmas gifts, ect. I’ve been a pretty awesome influence for her if I do say so myself. When I moved in she had nightmares and wet the bed at night for example- that’s all changed. I taught her some ways to calm herself down when she was feeling scared. I've spent years coaching youth sports so I feel pretty confident dealing with kids and bringing myself down to their level to help them build confidence in themselves. I’ve also provided a more of a stable financial presence to the home. When I moved in the cabinets and refrigerator were sparse- now it’s always stocked with food.

Her daughter writes me notes and brings home art projects for me. Here is the part that I have to absolutely get off my chest. I don’t feel a thing when she gives me these art projects. Nothing. If anything I just can’t shake this feeling of annoyance of her presence. I care about her daughter in a general sense that I’m a good guy and I would protect any child from harm and protect their innocence. But I don’t enjoy being with or around her. I feel terrible saying it but it’s how I feel. I feel guilt and have passed judgment on myself as a kind of emotionless monster. I want everyone to know that despite my feelings of annoyance with her my behaviors never indicate it towards her. Maybe it’s because she isn’t mine and she looks so much like her real father that has no interest in her or maybe it’s because I’m finding out that fatherhood just isn’t for me. I had it in my head that a father is supposed to be filled with joy the moment a child ran up and hugged him after work, instead I dread it….and worse I hate myself for dreading it.

I feel stuck and miserable. I told my girlfriend about some of these feelings about 3 months ago. She was saddened but we both agreed that additional time was needed. Now that I am eclipsing the 6 month mark of being in the house and have no change of feelings I am concerned. Not only that I'm stressed and anxiety ridden because I have to repress my daily annoyance and then I carry around a burden of guilt for my feelings. I've found myself creating emotional distance between my girlfriend and I because of this issue as well.

As an aside-Her daughters biological father didn’t want the baby and moved hours away while she was pregnant. He pays bare minimum child support and doesn’t call or send her birthday cards or anything like that. He is just basically nonexistent.

TLDR: Moved in with girlfriend and daughter. Now unhappy, lost, and don't want to hurt anyone. Looking for advice.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 01:12PM by usernamethrowaway58 http://ift.tt/1nw0XQv relationships

Me [20 M] with my roommate [22 M] of 5 months, had an argument over his girlfriend [18 F] who comes over our apartment almost every day and sometimes stay over for few days a week. relationships

  • I moved in with three roommates (two same age as mine [20] and other at [22] of age) on August 2015.

For clarifications, I will say one roommate who is 20 years of age is not relevant to this drama. For security reasons, I will identify the names as fictional names.

  • I will identify my 20-year old roommate as James, and his recent ex-girlfriend, Isabella [18].

  • And, 22-year old roommate as Blake and his on-going girlfriend of 3 and 1/2 month, Ashley [18].

  • Isabella and Ashley are international students from China. They have been friends together since high school.

We are college roommates in an apartment on-campus (not affiliated with university housing) for over five months now. We pay our expensive rent and utilities individually, not split (shitty, I know). In October, Ashley had stayed over our apartment for a month. Despite the fact that her dorm is 5-minute walk away. It was really annoying. Using our utilities, laundry, kitchen appliances, refrigerator, and etc. However, we each have our own bathroom and shower, so no worries there. Unfortunately, she now stays over few days a week.

James and I do not like Ashley at all. Unsurprisingly, Isabella does not like Ashley either. Isabella and I messaged each other through social media (mostly Snapchat) talking behind Ashley's back. Isabella would do the same. Ashley is her roommate in their dorm. In addition, even Blake admitted to James and I that Ashley's a really boring girl who has no friends with poor personality. Eventually, after Ashley had been staying over for a month in our apartment sleeping in Blake's room, Blake told her she needs to "chill out" and only stay over 3 days a week (on the weekends Friday to Sunday. Sometimes Thursday to Sunday). One time, Ashley cried over a text she saw from me to a friend few weeks ago who came over our apartment that says "Ugh, Ashley is still here." She cried over to Blake and Isabella, "What did I do wrong?"

Fast forward to last Thursday, Michael and Isabella broke up. Two days later, Blake sent Isabella's Snapchat screenshots of James and I talking behind Ashley's back on our roommate group messages. We don't know how he got those screenshots, but we think Ashley snooped on Isabella's phone, found out we all have been talking behind her back, and sent them to Blake. I texted Isabella multiple times asking how her pictures got leaked, but she is asleep at the moment. The chats I've said about Ashley to Isabella were pure hatred and insults. I am not proud of what I've said. I've said stuff from how James is in a relationship with Ashley just for her body to how Ashley's personalities are non-existent and she is obsessed with James.

We only talked this out through group messages and not face-to-face yet. I fully told Blake how I feel about his girlfriend, Ashley. I told him how I do not like her a single bit, I am irritated when she is around, I would ignore her when she is around, I do not like when someone would mention me about Ashley at least once a day for 5 months, and how James feels sick to his stomach when Blake and Ashley have sex really loud in their room.

Blake then cut off the conversation by saying he is "not even that mad" and then sent these self-explanatory texts:

  • "done with all this lame ass drama shit though I really don't care if I'm the only one who likes her."

  • "You can move out if it all bothers you that badly."

  • "She isn't going anywhere for awhile. I had no intention of stopping [bringing her over to our apartment], I might start leaving the door cracked to make your stomach churn tho. [sex]"

I would like to note that James and I have no hatred or dislike feelings towards Blake. We actually like him. We just don't like his girlfriend being around almost every day. However, I don't think Blake likes me as much as our other roommates.

tl;dr:

Ashley found out James, Isabella, and I have been talking behind her back. E.g. Ashley being over our apartment every day, and being really loud and annoying. No one likes to be around Ashley except Blake (Ashley's boyfriend). I've been ignoring Ashley every time she came over to our apartment. Blake says he doesn't want to talk about it anymore after discussing what had happened. Blake will selfishly continue to do what he has been doing, and passive aggressively said he will let his door open so we can hear them have sex. I do not want to move out of the apartment as it does not bother me badly, and I still like Blake as my roommate.

Questions

  • How should I act around Ashley?

  • Am I in the wrong (my fault)?

  • I want to know what are the best ways to settle this situation.

  • What I can do to stop this situation from escalating.

  • Any other advice that could defuse this situation.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 01:15PM by roommateProblemz http://ift.tt/1JR6bRm relationships

[M4F] “Shouldn’t you be leaving to pick up the foreign exchange student?” dirtypenpals

“Come on honey, just a quickie?” You whispered into his ear, pushing your perky breasts up against his long-sleeved business shirt. Your fingers snaked up his torso’s front, trailing from his waist to the buttons which you were beginning to undo. “He’s been on a 12 hour flight, he can wait another half hour for me to arrive.”

Your husband took hold of your wrists momentarily. In that second, you thought that perhaps you’d get laid for the first time in god knows how long, only for him to push your hands away. “Babe I’d love to, but today’s staff meeting was just absolutely stressful and I really just want to relax for a couple hours. Maybe before we go to bed? And besides, we shouldn’t be keeping him waiting.”

You sighed, then snapped, “Fine. Before bed tonight. I’ll be back in an hour and a half, see you then.” Fetching your keys from the familiar ceramic bowl, you slammed the front door on your way out, but you knew he wouldn’t notice with his head burrowed inside the refrigerator holding all his beer bottles.

How did it go so wrong? You wondered, suddenly exhausted, your eyes almost on the verge of tears as you flipped on the headlights. We promised each other we wouldn’t be ‘that married couple’, and yet… here we are. Everyone always said the flame of carnal desire burned out eventually in a marriage, but for it to happen at 32? We should’ve been devouring each other until 35, at the very least, ideally until our forties.

Miraculously you didn’t crash your vehicle on the drive there. Idly, you picked up the poster roll with the name ‘Christian Koeller’ painted over it and rested it on your shoulder, dragging your feet toward waiting section for the incoming arrivals. This foreign exchange student was your husband’s idea. Because of his work at a prestigious university and his desire to achieve a permanent spot in its staff, he figured that if he participated in this housing program, which the dean heavily approved of, it would increase his chances of locking down a professor job for the next decade. So over the past half year he eventually broke down your resistance, culminating in this very moment.

There was a tap on your shoulder followed by a German accent. “Mrs. Esmerelda?” You turned around, almost dropping your jaw at the young man standing before you.

Tall, clearly athletic, lean, wavy dirty blonde hair, a dazzling smile, blue eyes, a defined jaw, just the perfect amount of stubble. Like someone took a Prince Charming out of the fairy tales, roughed him up a little bit and dropped him right on the linoleum right in front of you. “Uh yeah, that’s me.” You stammered, examining me from head to toe before staring at the sign in your trembling hands. “And you must be uh Christian Koeller?”

“Yes, that’s right. I heard I’d be living with a married couple, with no kids, but I didn’t imagine you to be so young. And still so pretty.” I smiled, scratching my hair slightly. “Is your husband with you?”

“Oh.” You frowned, realizing he was probably passed out in front of the television this very moment. “No, he’s had a long day, but my car’s outside, so let’s take you back to my home, okay?”

The two of us chatted on the drive home, about each other’s backgrounds, your marriage, my education until we arrived at your doorstep. You showed me the guest bedroom, leaving me to get settled as you retreated to your own bedroom, already knowing you were going to be disappointed. And sure enough you were, your husband being fast asleep. But then again, you would’ve been foolish to actually expect otherwise.

An aggravating two weeks followed, predictably sexless, but you hadn’t predicted the immense sexual tension. Perhaps you were imagining it. But you didn’t dare confide in your husband, or did you not want to? After all, you couldn’t remember the last time since a handsome young 20-something glanced at your curves so appreciatively? Once, while you were changing I passed by your door and you panicked, shutting it immediately upon noticing my presence. But something warm, lustful flickered inside of you, and the next time you were changing, your door was flung wide open. This time, when I passed by, you didn’t hide or shrink away, but continued boldly. However you didn’t throw a lustful stare in return. After all, you were faithful to your husband no? But the attention was enjoyable nevertheless.

You spent more time on your appearance, buying new lingerie, skimpier outfits that revealed more skin. After all, the west coast was warm even in the fall. “You’re looking great today, when’d you go shopping?” I complimented one afternoon after returning from class. “Gosh, you look better than most of my classmates.” You blushed at that, brushing your hair back, biting your lip. But the temptation was rising. As I was growing more comfortable living in your house, I’d walk out of the bathroom in only my boxers after my showers. The outline of my cock through my undergarments, without a doubt larger than your husbands almost made your mouth water. You’d sneak glances whenever possible, barely avoiding detection, imaging how it felt to hold it in your-

Wait a second. I can’t be thinking like that. You panicked, shutting those thoughts off. And yet…

And then the final straw was a girl’s pleasured moans emanating through the wall separating our bedrooms. Most likely I’d brought back another student in the dead of the night. Your husband, who wore earplugs regularly to bed, couldn’t hear the sound but your loins moistened at the gasps and squeaking mattress. Within moments, your fingers had crept down to that region, teasing you further until reason and logic fell apart to a sexual hunger.

You needed a cock. And at this point, you weren’t even sure it had to be your husband’s anymore.


My seventh prompt. Kinks and DPP Profile.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 12:38PM by Ernest_Gangbangway http://ift.tt/1Std1xG dirtypenpals

The freezer works great but the fridge doesn't cool very well... appliancerepair

We have a GE Hotpoint refrigerator model no. CTX21DABRRWW. The freezer works great but the fridge isn't cooling very well - I'm not sure what happened. I have to guess this is a somewhat common problem - does anyone know how to fix this?

In the alternative, if I have to hire someone do it, how much should the range of costs be for parts? This is an old refrigerator that I don't think is being made anymore. Wondering if I should just cut my losses and get a new fridge.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 09:40AM by rodgers707 http://ift.tt/1KOydrz appliancerepair

VG life span?.. DIY_eJuice

I'm getting ready to place an order for some VG. How long will that last before it "spoils" if its stored in a refrigerator? I've got a mini fridge that I'm planning on using bc its empty as shit. I'm not planning on keeping in there for years, but a month, two at the most, is about how long I plan on keeping some of it. I'm getting a killer deal on the VG I'm getting, and just wanna make sure that it's gonna be ok if its kept in said mini fridge for a few months.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 09:04AM by Granpa_Strange http://ift.tt/1m6tf2Y DIY_eJuice

fuck offmychest

I'm not good at getting out my thoughts coherently but I'll try. I'm almost 14 and I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety when I was 12 in June of 2014. I started self-harming in fourth grade which included me ripping my hair out, banging my head on my bed, and cutting with dull scissors. I got help (unwillingly) at the end of sixth grade due to a recommendation by several of my teachers. I was started on 10mg of Lexapro every day with therapy once a week, which became 20 mg of Lexapro with therapy once a week, which then turned into 20mg of Prozac with therapy twice a week by the end of seventh grade (June 2015). I began to only see my therapist once a week starting about a month ago. For the past few months my parents' relationship with each other had been be coming much more strained, which has added a lot of stress into the house. I only really realized this recently, but my mom often complains to me about my dad as a way to get stuff off of her chest. She says things that constantly degrade him as a father and have impacted my view of him. My younger sister has a very negative view of him due to this. While he has his flaws, so does my mom, despite her always acting like he is the only one in the wrong when shit hits the fan. For years now, I've been the mediator in their arguments because I always get dragged into them by my mom. I've looked up to my mom for my whole life, but now that I'm seeing the bigger picture, it's getting harder to paint either of them in a positive light. My sister has an issue with taking things, especially food items, that aren't hers and consuming them. In October, I went to New York for a week, leaving behind maple candy (that I paid for), and when I returned half of it was missing. I pointed this out and no one took the blame, and my mom yelled at me for targeting my sister like that. Later that evening, one of my then dogs bit my hand and I ended up spending the night in the ER. Only then, with blood streaming out of my hand did my sister fess up to taking my candy. This past weekend I got back from a cross country road trip from San Diego to DC with my dad over the course of a week, this was all during that huge snowstorm. I had previously bought sparkling cider at the store, and I left it about 2/3 full. Before I leave I specifically tell my sister not to have it. I remind them via text halfway through the trip as well. My mom assures me no one drank any of it. When I get back, they tell me that they had talked about it, and apparently, neither of them had a thing for apple products. I go look in the refrigerator, and I kid you not, there is one fucking drop left in the bottle. I look over at my sister and gesture in a way that asked her if she did this, and she nods. I decide to let it slide and I pretend to drink the rest and throw out the bottle. As a result of this, I was pissed off at her and it showed over the next few days. My mom confronted me and told me to "stop being so snippy with your sister," asking why I was being like that, and I was so annoyed I told her. My mom was in disbelief saying I never told my sister not to drink it, and further revealed it was half full when they talked about how they "didn't like apple products," meaning not only did my sister drink it before discussing not to drink it with my mom, but after as well. Then my mom tells both of us to apologize to each other, which was ridiculous. She goes to the store the next day and buys more cider, and the first thing my sister says when she saw it was, "oh can I have some?" Today she had some sort of fake interview that was filmed for Girl Scouts, and asked to borrow a navy blue shirt. I let her borrow one telling her not to ruin it. Later that day when I go out to run errands with my mom, I discover my cover-up makeup stick is missing from where I put it last night. I tell my mom and she replies the my sister is having a bad day. So when my sister gets home from her thing, I call her out in the nicest way I could muster. (She ended up breaking it too apparently). She breaks down crying and my mom yells at me saying that I shouldn't have yelled at her. I didn't yell at her, I told her not to take my stuff. So tonight I've just been in a pissy mood, and I haven't self harmed in seven or eight months, and while I could't bring my self to cut, I scratched my forearm up to the point where it stung like a female dog for a couple hours, but isn't that noticeable now. I'm really disappointed I did this and I think it may be due to me not taking my Prozac. I haven't been taking my meds as much because honestly I think I've been doing fine up to these past two weeks. I really just needed to get that off my chest, thanks for reading this crap piece of writing.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 09:18AM by peachlobe http://ift.tt/1VyrY0G offmychest

VG life span?.. DIY_eJuice

I'm getting ready to place an order for some VG. How long will that last before it "spoils" if its stored in a refrigerator? I've got a mini fridge that I'm planning on using bc its empty as shit. I'm not planning on keeping in there for years, but a month, two at the most, is about how long I plan on keeping some of it. I'm getting a killer deal on the VG I'm getting, and just wanna make sure that it's gonna be ok if its kept in said mini fridge for a few months.



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 09:04AM by Granpa_Strange http://ift.tt/1m6tf2Y DIY_eJuice

Anyone need a refrigerator? orangecounty

Hey guys, I finally found an apartment, so I'll be clearing out my storage unit on Monday. I won't need a refrigerator because my place came with one, so now I'm just looking to sell the one I have.

If anyone is looking for one, let me know. You can see the link here



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 07:40AM by MatticusCrispy http://ift.tt/1PI0LUW orangecounty

23 [F4M] RP: "The Vacation Home" ~ A Femdom Tale (Long read; long term partner wanted) dirtypenpals

Some music to set the mood...

~

The house had gone quiet. You perked your ears up to listen, but couldn't hear anything. For the umpteenth time you struggled against the restraints around your wrists and ankles. Christ, where did she learn to tie such a knot? The kitchen was dark except for the light over the island counter. You could hear the refrigerator hum. How long had she been gone for? Twenty minutes? Half an hour? What was she doing?

You were tied to a kitchen chair. Earlier in the evening, after work, you had driven up here to your vacation home. It was private. An eight bedroom home that sat secluded on a high bluff at the end of a long path. Lily would still be in the city, out with Skyler polishing off a bottle of wine or two, getting sloppy drunk per usual and bitching about you and Skyler's husband Todd.

You'd put that thought out of mind as you'd slipped into a warm bath with scented oils. You'd taken your time shaving your legs, your chest, and then moisturizing after. You'd slipped slowly into the navy blue empire dress with dark tan, seamed stockings you'd bought from Macy's, and navy blue suede heels. Yes, this was a weird habit. And no, no one -- not even Lily -- would suspect that this is how you relieved stress. No one would or could understand your secret desires. You couldn't help what felt good. You had made a fortune funding and advertising startup companies. You were the present CFO of one of the biggest startups in the city. You were allowed to indulge. But that didn't mean that you wouldn't be mortified if your golf buddies found out about this little hobby.

You heard the sound of high heels on hardwood floors. She walked in quietly wearing tall leather heels, a black high waisted pencil skirt, and a champagne colored silk blouse. Her platinum blonde hair was in a sharp asymmetrical bob. Your whole body trembled. Her big blue eyes seemed to swallow your very essence. In her hand was an old school polaroid camera. She snapped a picture of you. Smiled. Then took the photo the camera ejected and pinned it to the fridge with a magnet.

"Ms. Sawyer," you breathed. "Ashley ... look ... if you untie me I promise I won't tell anyone about this. Hell, I'll write you a letter of recommendation for your next employer if you like. C'mon now. Before this gets out of hand."

She dragged one of the kitchen chairs over and took a seat across from you. You glanced up as she casually lit a cigarette, and gently blew the smoke toward the ceiling. You watched as she crossed her legs at the knee and placed her hands on her lap. You inhaled the sweetly feminine scent of her perfume from where you're sitting. She reached into a white envelope that had been sitting on the island counter and held up a glossy 3x5 photo of a red haired woman. You cringed when you saw it.

"Did you write Emily Dupont a letter of recommendation?" she asks cooly. "Or once she was done sucking your dick you no longer had any use for her?" She held up another photo. "What about Sonia Carter? Did you write one for her after your stooge Kyle used her and threw her away like a tissue? Good luck on all future endeavors, right?"

You stopped struggling against your restraints. "Ashley ...," you tried again. "It's obvious you're very upset. Is it money you want? I can write you a check. Just name your price."

She exhaled a plume of smoke and casually held up another photo. "Did you write Karen Miller a check when she threatened legal action when your little boys club were passing around nudes of her that were stolen from her personal computer?"

You were losing control of the situation. How in the world did she know all this? This was Ashley Sawyer. Receptionist. Blonde. Friendly. A bit aloof at times. Not some ... some mastermind. You decided to try a different tact.

"My -- my wife is going to be up here soon," you said. "I -- I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea."

"What idea is that, sweetheart?" she replied. "That you look better in a dress than she does?" She slipped another photo out of the folder and when your eyes fell on it your blood turned cold. "Besides, it looks like she's a bit busy getting her brains fucked out by her friend Skyler's husband Todd tonight. I don't think she's thinking about you at all."

You're anger was boiling over now. You're hurt. Embarrassed.

"Let me go you cunt!" you barked.

But she didn't match your anger. Instead she made a little clicking noise with her tongue and walked over to you. She placed a hand against your cheek. You can smell her perfume mixed with the cigarette. She brought her face close to yours -- so close you could feel her warm breath on you.

"It's not that simple," she said. "I sent an email from your personal computer that informs the office you're taking a two week hiatus."

"What?" you frowned. "Why?"

She smiled. "Because up here, Mr. Thatcher, we're going to be making some beautiful music together."



Thank you SO much for reading if you made it all the way through. I hoped to write something that would catch your attention, and give you an idea of how I write. I also hope that I was somewhat subtle in the type of story that this will be. Please no Alpha Doms. This is not the story for you. I promise. I think men feel pressure everyday to be a “MAN,” always in control. A lot of guys feel better giving up their power to a woman, even if it is only for a short time. Some people just don’t get what I do, and that is fine.

I wanted to write a really fun and engaging opening scene to hopefully attract the right type of partner. My only request is that you be a serious writer and be willing to add value and not take away. Google is my writing home. I prefer to chat and build stories there. I'd love to turn this into something great. :)

I'd love to hear from you if you're interested!

+Ashley+



Submitted January 31, 2016 at 07:27AM by hollywoodcensored http://ift.tt/1KOjSLI dirtypenpals

Appliances on rent......... repair

contraptions are an extensive variety of electronic things that can be handled rent for home, office or any kind of event. These mechanical assemblies fuse refrigerators on rent, air circulation and cooling frameworks on rent, kitchen contraptions on rent, garments washer on rent,television on rent, air coolers on rent.The home machines on rent are ordinarily handled a month to month premise by people either living in a city quickly or when they have any guests. The rental of devices is on a consistently start for any kind of event. Associations giving mechanical assemblies on rent generally charge extra for transport and consolidate organization of machine in the rental charges if the issue is not as a result of misuse. more data visit:http://ift.tt/1Khk638



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 06:42PM by appliancesonrent http://ift.tt/1Khk6jm repair

Friday, January 29, 2016

A refrigerator is the exact opposite of a drug addict. Jokes

It starts off in a box and then moves to a house.



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 10:19AM by WilliamTheFoe http://ift.tt/1PGjKPq Jokes

Compressor for a Smart+ spp155bdss Homebrewing

I just picked up this kegerator for free. I know it usually goes for about $560, so I feel like it is totally worth fixing. The compressor apparently got so hot that it melted one of the small pipes coming out of it and melted a one-to-two inch section of the outside of the kegerator. I called the customer service number listed on the unit, but they said to jut go to a refrigeration specialist in my area. I have no idea where that would be. Is this something I could just purchase online? Could I use a compressor from a refrigerator? Is it a relatively easy fix? It is worth the time and money? Thanks ahead of time.



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 09:29AM by I_WIPE http://ift.tt/20czN2U Homebrewing

YAY ~~The awful judge I was assigned is now in a different department!!! Divorce

So the judge we were initially assigned back a year ago had a background of criminal law and had been a criminal defense attorney. She was sitting on the family law bench for two years, knowing NOTHING about family law. Why? Because the cases she had worked on in the PD's office would present a conflict if she went immediately to the criminal bench. So for two years she ruled on cases that were outside her expertise and knowledge, ruining lives in the process.

She imputed a 50% increase in my income because I had to take a lower paying job due to my STBX's stalking and tapping into my work phone (see history). This meant I was paying him 66% of my take home pay. He refused to sell the house, and hadn't paid the mortgage (in violation of the court order) since 4/15 and the house was set for foreclosure sale this month.

All this while I was paying him $2600 PER MONTH for child support and spousal support, while bringing in around $4500 per month. He just socked it away and ignored the order, and did so because this judge was so bad.

He left the house three days before the foreclosure sale date, leaving it filthy, junk everywhere, refrigerator full of rotten moldy food, dog crap all over the backyard and the inside of the house reeking of urine from cats.

I had to pay an additional $2k for three dump truck loads of junk to be hauled away, and $400 for cleaning the inside.

Now, he's going to declare bankruptcy in order that he will avoid all liability for community credit card debt. My attorney has said "Well, we don't know for sure" (Yes, we do, he has a bankruptcy attorney and he is going to file as soon as he forced me to sign this one-sided agreement)

My attorney has been telling me that this judge was terrible and I would be better off just agreeing to the one-sided stipulation they had proposed, rather than going to trial with this terrible assigned judge. Thankfully I had not signed the stipulation yet and now I have a second opinion scheduled with a different attorney to make sure that I'm getting solid advice.

Just wanted to share that - it's been such a rough two years.....



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 06:43AM by SeriousPenguinIssues http://ift.tt/1UwhnDe Divorce

Son, a woman is a lot like a... a refrigerator! They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds. They make ice TheSimpsons

http://ift.tt/1OVBzgn

Submitted January 30, 2016 at 06:41AM by b7j http://ift.tt/1UwhnDp TheSimpsons

YAY ~~The awful judge I was assigned is now in a different department!!! Divorce

So the judge we were initially assigned back a year ago had a background of criminal law and had been a criminal defense attorney. She was sitting on the family law bench for two years, knowing NOTHING about family law. Why? Because the cases she had worked on in the PD's office would present a conflict if she went immediately to the criminal bench. So for two years she ruled on cases that were outside her expertise and knowledge, ruining lives in the process.

She imputed a 50% increase in my income because I had to take a lower paying job due to my STBX's stalking and tapping into my work phone (see history). This meant I was paying him 66% of my take home pay. He refused to sell the house, and hadn't paid the mortgage (in violation of the court order) since 4/15 and the house was set for foreclosure sale this month.

All this while I was paying him $2600 PER MONTH for child support and spousal support, while bringing in around $4500 per month. He just socked it away and ignored the order, and did so because this judge was so bad.

He left the house three days before the foreclosure sale date, leaving it filthy, junk everywhere, refrigerator full of rotten moldy food, dog crap all over the backyard and the inside of the house reeking of urine from cats.

I had to pay an additional $2k for three dump truck loads of junk to be hauled away, and $400 for cleaning the inside.

Now, he's going to declare bankruptcy in order that he will avoid all liability for community credit card debt. My attorney has said "Well, we don't know for sure" (Yes, we do, he has a bankruptcy attorney and he is going to file as soon as he forced me to sign this one-sided agreement)

My attorney has been telling me that this judge was terrible and I would be better off just agreeing to the one-sided stipulation they had proposed, rather than going to trial with this terrible assigned judge. Thankfully I had not signed the stipulation yet and now I have a second opinion scheduled with a different attorney to make sure that I'm getting solid advice.

Just wanted to share that - it's been such a rough two years.....



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 06:43AM by SeriousPenguinIssues http://ift.tt/1UwhnDe Divorce

What to do when I have a Friday all alone... stopdrinking

Last Friday, I had the house to myself after a long week of travel, I got bored and went on a very strange ice cream & cookie binge. At this point in my sobriety, ice cream in the freezer is more of a danger to me than beer in the refrigerator...

It's been another long week, so I know I'm not going to do anything productive. My plans are to go to an AA Meeting. After the meeting, I'll come home energized and stay away from the ice cream (no worries about the cookies, I ate them all last week)!



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 04:38AM by Syklst http://ift.tt/1P2Qp2k stopdrinking

Question about roasting bones for beef broth AskCulinary

I'm making pho for my girlfriend's birthday tomorrow and I've never made homemade beef broth. This link has been extremely helpful so far: http://ift.tt/1SpmfLf

I started by roasting the bones today at 350F and about 20 minutes before I received a phone call calling me into work. I moved the bones to the refrigerator and plan to simmer them later.

What I need help with:

Did I ruin the bones by not simmering them right away or can I put them strait into a pot and start simmering? The bones were relatively inexpensive and if I need to buy fresh ones I'll probably change my method to parboiling.

I also am using oxtail and beef shank. What's the best way to add those? Do I just simmer those for 1.5 hours and move the meat to a bowl of cold water then to the refrigerator? I had planned on browning the beef shank in my stock pot before adding water.



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 02:17AM by OPollyMe http://ift.tt/1PFCajA AskCulinary

Man vs. Machine wrestlingisreddit

Awaking to a massive hangover, our hero "Vile" Vic Studd seeks to start his "Pupil Free Day" off on the right foot...

scene opens inside the kitchen of the Rancho Cucamonga home of Roisin O'Brien and Vic Studd. The side door to the service porch slides open and out steps Vic Studd from the room in which he has been banished - wearing a frilly women's robe most likely belonging to Roisin. He shuffles towards the refrigerator, the robe tie keeping a tenuous grasp of preventing a full shot of Vic hanging dong.

Vic Studd: (singing softly to himself) ♫I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be over... somethin' somethin' somethin' beee... I don't wanna wait...♫

Vic opens the lavish sub zero refrigerator and his eyes light up.

Vic: ... well... hello there. Don't you look lovely. Ms. Cluckman, I presume?

Vic pulls out a half eaten rotisserie chicken and a can of Tecate. He plops them both down on the kitchen island counter behind him and starts tearing away at the meat like a savage. He dangles a piece of dark meat over his mouth and drops it in, only for it to bounce of the side of his mouth and land on the floor.'

Vic: Hoho... not so fast there, buddy.

Vic bends over to grab the piece of meat off the kitchen floor only for a roomba to come by and instantly suck it up.

Vic: (in a low gravelly voice) ... so it begins...

1 HOUR LATER

Roisin is on the front porch making out with a sexy mailman. She tugs at his belt and yanks him towards the door as she opens it.

Roisin O'Brien: Let's go, boy-o. Got a special delivery only YOU can make, flower.

Mailman: Yes ma'am!

Ro kicks the door open and drags the mailman into the entryway as she tears open his shirt sending buttons flying anyway.

CRRRRAAAASSSHHH

Ro freezes in her tracks and listens.

Mailman: What's wrong? Someone-

Ro: Shut the fuck up.

Ro continues to listen, standing perfectly still resting up against her chiseled mailman.

SMMMMASSSSHH

Ro: Bloody hell.

Ro storms towards the kitchen and kicks open the door to what can only be described as what would happen if an F5 class tornado whipped through a suburban kitchen. Vic has mercilessly laid waste to each and every appliance and piece of electrical equipment in the kitchen. A toaster drowns in an overflowing sink filled with running water, a food processor clings to life as it lies on the counter strangled with its own cord and huge kitchen knife stuck into the side of it and the poor roomba meticulously stomped into tiny pieces on the floor.

Vic: Hope you can microWAVE goodbye!

Ro: VIC! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY KITCHEN!?!?

Vic finishes ripping the microwave out of the wall and tosses it through the kitchen window out onto the front lawn without a moment's hesitation.

Vic: (out of breath) ... machines... taking over... took... a piece... of chicken... not saying its Skynet, but... I'm pretty sure its Skynet.... ARRGGHHHH!!

Vic storms across the kitchen and grabs the pot from the coffee maker. He smashes the glass against the side counter before beating the coffee machine to death with its own pot.

Vic: I AM NOT READY TO LEAD A HUMAN RESISTANCE! NOT YET! LET ME ENJOY WEDDED BLISS!

Ro: THAT'S ENOUGH!

Ro grabs the cordless phone off the wall and chucks it at Vic, pegging him in the side of the head.

Ro: Ya better be feckin' scuttered or else I-- what're ya even doin' home anyways? Shouldn't ya be at school?

Vic rubs his head where the cordless phone hit, seemingly working at snapping him back into reality.

Vic: Pupil Free Day... ow. Fuck. Nice aim kitten puss.

Vic walks over to the refrigerator that seemingly has escaped his wrath unscathed. He opens it up grabbing a can of soda and holding it to his head where the phone hit.

Ro: I see ya spared your precious Sub-Zero fridge in yer little tantrum, eh?

Vic rubs the outside of the fridge door lovingly.

Vic: Who? Elsa? She would never turn against me. Our bond transcends the innate conflict between man and machine. Besides, she keeps the beer cold and is probably the most polite object in the house, present company included. See?

Vic hits a button on the door of the fridge and a robotic voice begins to speak...

"GOOD. MORNING. SUGAR. NIPS. WOULD YOU LIKE. A. FRESCA?"

Vic smiles while Ro rolls her eyes.

Vic: Ain't she great? I also-- wait. Who the FUCK are you?

Vic points behind Ro where the sexy mailman is standing trying to catch a glimpse of what all the fuss is about. The Mailman's eyes grow wide as Ro spins to meet him, shoving him back towards the door.

Ro: Oh well... uh... that's our mailman, Karl. I heard all the commotion going on in the kitchen walking up the steps and thought you were at school so I wasn't sure what to expect to find and... umm.. so I grabbed him off the street to see if he could help a young lady out. Just in case.

Vic's eyes narrow as he looks Karl up and down.

Vic: What's up with your shirt? BROTHER.

The Mailman looks down at his half ripped shirt and begins to fumble his words.

Mailman: Uhhh...

Ro: He just got done plowin' that bird next door. What's her name? Kayla. That's it.

Vic: Oh shit yeah! The one with the tig 'ol bitties! Man, what I wouldn't give to have at those sweater puppets like I'm working a speed bag. Those babies real?

Mailman: Huh? .. OH! Umm... you betcha! They're real and they're spectacular. Yup!

Vic: I knew it.

Vic smiles imagining playing with those glorious fun bags while Ro rushes Karl out the front door.

Ro: Okay, Karl, why don't you go grab Vic his package?

Mailman: What are you-- OOMPH!

Ro shoves Karl out onto the front porch and grabs him by the jaw.

Ro: Don't think for a feckin' second ya got away with this.

Mailman: Me? What are you--

Ro: Vic's... resourceful. Surprisingly so. He'll figure out what you were plannin' on doin' and... well... let's just say he'd snap your cock off like a celery stick with no hesitation.

Karl looks puzzled as he looks back into the house.

Mailman: Lady, I dunno what you're talking about. He doesn't look so scary, I bet I could--

Ro grabs Karl by the jaw again and meets his eyes with hers, putting the fear of God into him.

Ro: My husband just tore up his own kitchen cause a roomba ate his breakfast. He thinks he's destined to lead humanity's last pocket of resistance in a war against an artificial intelligence that spawned from a bloody glorified vacuum cleaner. That man has no shortage of an imagination in which to think up cruel and vile ways of makin' yer life a livin' hell.

Karl the Mailman takes a big gulp and nods his head in understanding.

Mailman: Excellent point.

Ro: Good. Now go get Vic's package.

Mailman: But I don't have a package for--

Ro slaps Karl.

Ro: I know that, ya gowl! Just grab whatever ya got back there and bring it here.

Mailman: Shit. Fine.

Karl hurries back to his mail truck and grabs the first package he could find and hustles back only to find Vic, with beer in hand, still wearing his frilly bathrobe waiting for his package along with Roisin.

Mailman: Oh God.. umm... here is your package Mr. Studd.

Vic tears the package away from Karl and reads the label.

Vic: Who the fuck is Jarvis Mahoney?

Mailman: He... uhhh...

Ro: Its an alias. Didn't want anyone knowin' where we live.

Vic: Hmm...

Vic eyes both Karl and Ro suspiciously before tearing open his package. His eyes immediately light up like a kid on Christmas.

Vic: By the Bald Head of Sunshine! Love crumb! Is this for House Party this week!?

Ro and Karl exchange glances, neither one knowing what the hell is in the box.

Ro: Ummm.. sure, you bet.

Vic: Damn Gangsta Muffin! Shit is KINKY. I'm going to try it on!

Vic leaps into the house. Stops.

Vic: Wait. Almost forgot.

Vic storms back onto the porch and cold clocks Karl the Mailman with a right cross. Karl falls like a bag of hammers into a bed of flowers.

Vic: Fuckin' spook. Talk to my wife again and I'll drop kick you so hard they'll stop ya in Phoenix for speeding.

Vic goes back into the house without saying another word. Karl looks up at Ro from the bed of flowers as she kneels down next to him.

Ro: My advice: Get a new route. Or get a new job. If Vic sees ya again, you'll be gettin' a new jaw.

Ro grabs a handful of dirt and shoves it in the Mailman's face before the scene fades to black.



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 02:20AM by neutronknows http://ift.tt/1PFCajs wrestlingisreddit

Ice makers for home use? cocktails

So at home I've been using refrigerator ice for a long time. It works but it's definitely not ideal and I'm super jealous of the Kold Draft cubes down at my locale watering hole. I did a bunch of research on portable home units and frankly I didn't find much. It looks like my best bet is something like this?

Anyone have any experience with consumer ice makers? Suggestions/thoughts? I'm mostly concerned with the quality of the ice and the effort required to clean the thing as long as it makes enough for me to shake up half a dozen or so drinks.



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 02:35AM by stgabe http://ift.tt/1nDyj0j cocktails

Refrigerators are just morgues for animals and plants Showerthoughts

No text found

Submitted January 30, 2016 at 02:12AM by beneath_the_bottom http://ift.tt/1Spmg1E Showerthoughts

Question about roasting bones for beef broth AskCulinary

I'm making pho for my girlfriend's birthday tomorrow and I've never made homemade beef broth. This link has been extremely helpful so far: http://ift.tt/1SpmfLf

I started by roasting the bones today at 350F and about 20 minutes before I received a phone call calling me into work. I moved the bones to the refrigerator and plan to simmer them later.

What I need help with:

Did I ruin the bones by not simmering them right away or can I put them strait into a pot and start simmering? The bones were relatively inexpensive and if I need to buy fresh ones I'll probably change my method to parboiling.

I also am using oxtail and beef shank. What's the best way to add those? Do I just simmer those for 1.5 hours and move the meat to a bowl of cold water then to the refrigerator? I had planned on browning the beef shank in my stock pot before adding water.



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 02:17AM by OPollyMe http://ift.tt/1PFCajA AskCulinary

Man vs. Machine wrestlingisreddit

Awaking to a massive hangover, our hero "Vile" Vic Studd seeks to start his "Pupil Free Day" off on the right foot...

scene opens inside the kitchen of the Rancho Cucamonga home of Roisin O'Brien and Vic Studd. The side door to the service porch slides open and out steps Vic Studd from the room in which he has been banished - wearing a frilly women's robe most likely belonging to Roisin. He shuffles towards the refrigerator, the robe tie keeping a tenuous grasp of preventing a full shot of Vic hanging dong.

Vic Studd: (singing softly to himself) ♫I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be over... somethin' somethin' somethin' beee... I don't wanna wait...♫

Vic opens the lavish sub zero refrigerator and his eyes light up.

Vic: ... well... hello there. Don't you look lovely. Ms. Cluckman, I presume?

Vic pulls out a half eaten rotisserie chicken and a can of Tecate. He plops them both down on the kitchen island counter behind him and starts tearing away at the meat like a savage. He dangles a piece of dark meat over his mouth and drops it in, only for it to bounce of the side of his mouth and land on the floor.'

Vic: Hoho... not so fast there, buddy.

Vic bends over to grab the piece of meat off the kitchen floor only for a roomba to come by and instantly suck it up.

Vic: (in a low gravelly voice) ... so it begins...

1 HOUR LATER

Roisin is on the front porch making out with a sexy mailman. She tugs at his belt and yanks him towards the door as she opens it.

Roisin O'Brien: Let's go, boy-o. Got a special delivery only YOU can make, flower.

Mailman: Yes ma'am!

Ro kicks the door open and drags the mailman into the entryway as she tears open his shirt sending buttons flying anyway.

CRRRRAAAASSSHHH

Ro freezes in her tracks and listens.

Mailman: What's wrong? Someone-

Ro: Shut the fuck up.

Ro continues to listen, standing perfectly still resting up against her chiseled mailman.

SMMMMASSSSHH

Ro: Bloody hell.

Ro storms towards the kitchen and kicks open the door to what can only be described as what would happen if an F5 class tornado whipped through a suburban kitchen. Vic has mercilessly laid waste to each and every appliance and piece of electrical equipment in the kitchen. A toaster drowns in an overflowing sink filled with running water, a food processor clings to life as it lies on the counter strangled with its own cord and huge kitchen knife stuck into the side of it and the poor roomba meticulously stomped into tiny pieces on the floor.

Vic: Hope you can microWAVE goodbye!

Ro: VIC! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY KITCHEN!?!?

Vic finishes ripping the microwave out of the wall and tosses it through the kitchen window out onto the front lawn without a moment's hesitation.

Vic: (out of breath) ... machines... taking over... took... a piece... of chicken... not saying its Skynet, but... I'm pretty sure its Skynet.... ARRGGHHHH!!

Vic storms across the kitchen and grabs the pot from the coffee maker. He smashes the glass against the side counter before beating the coffee machine to death with its own pot.

Vic: I AM NOT READY TO LEAD A HUMAN RESISTANCE! NOT YET! LET ME ENJOY WEDDED BLISS!

Ro: THAT'S ENOUGH!

Ro grabs the cordless phone off the wall and chucks it at Vic, pegging him in the side of the head.

Ro: Ya better be feckin' scuttered or else I-- what're ya even doin' home anyways? Shouldn't ya be at school?

Vic rubs his head where the cordless phone hit, seemingly working at snapping him back into reality.

Vic: Pupil Free Day... ow. Fuck. Nice aim kitten puss.

Vic walks over to the refrigerator that seemingly has escaped his wrath unscathed. He opens it up grabbing a can of soda and holding it to his head where the phone hit.

Ro: I see ya spared your precious Sub-Zero fridge in yer little tantrum, eh?

Vic rubs the outside of the fridge door lovingly.

Vic: Who? Elsa? She would never turn against me. Our bond transcends the innate conflict between man and machine. Besides, she keeps the beer cold and is probably the most polite object in the house, present company included. See?

Vic hits a button on the door of the fridge and a robotic voice begins to speak...

"GOOD. MORNING. SUGAR. NIPS. WOULD YOU LIKE. A. FRESCA?"

Vic smiles while Ro rolls her eyes.

Vic: Ain't she great? I also-- wait. Who the FUCK are you?

Vic points behind Ro where the sexy mailman is standing trying to catch a glimpse of what all the fuss is about. The Mailman's eyes grow wide as Ro spins to meet him, shoving him back towards the door.

Ro: Oh well... uh... that's our mailman, Karl. I heard all the commotion going on in the kitchen walking up the steps and thought you were at school so I wasn't sure what to expect to find and... umm.. so I grabbed him off the street to see if he could help a young lady out. Just in case.

Vic's eyes narrow as he looks Karl up and down.

Vic: What's up with your shirt? BROTHER.

The Mailman looks down at his half ripped shirt and begins to fumble his words.

Mailman: Uhhh...

Ro: He just got done plowin' that bird next door. What's her name? Kayla. That's it.

Vic: Oh shit yeah! The one with the tig 'ol bitties! Man, what I wouldn't give to have at those sweater puppets like a speed bag. Those things real?

Mailman: Huh? .. OH! Umm... you betcha! They're real and they're spectacular. Yup!

Vic: I knew it.

Vic smiles imagining playing with those glorious fun bags while Ro rushes Karl out the front door.

Ro: Okay, Karl, why don't you go grab Vic his package?

Mailman: What are you-- OOMPH!

Ro shoves Karl out onto the front porch and grabs him by the jaw.

Ro: Don't think for a feckin' second ya got away with this.

Mailman: Me? What are you--

Ro: Vic's... resourceful. Surprisingly so. He'll figure out what you were plannin' on doin' and... well... let's just say he'd snap your cock off like a celery stick with no hesitation.

Karl looks puzzled as he looks back into the house.

Mailman: Lady, I dunno what you're talking about. He doesn't look so scary, I bet I could--

Ro grabs Karl by the jaw again and meets his eyes with hers, putting the fear of God into him.

Ro: My husband just tore up his own kitchen cause a roomba ate his breakfast. He thinks he's destined to lead humanity's last pocket of resistance in a war against an artificial intelligence that spawned from a bloody glorified vacuum cleaner. That man has no shortage of an imagination in which to think up cruel and vile ways of makin' yer life a livin' hell.

Karl the Mailman takes a big gulp and nods his head in understanding.

Mailman: Excellent point.

Ro: Good. Now go get Vic's package.

Mailman: But I don't have a package for--

Ro slaps Karl.

Ro: I know that, ya gowl! Just grab whatever ya got back there and bring it here.

Mailman: Shit. Fine.

Karl hurries back to his mail truck and grabs the first package he could find and hustles back only to find Vic, with beer in hand, still wearing his frilly bathrobe waiting for his package along with Roisin.

Mailman: Oh God.. umm... here is your package Mr. Studd.

Vic tears the package away from Karl and reads the label.

Vic: Who the fuck is Jarvis Mahoney?

Mailman: He... uhhh...

Ro: Its an alias. Didn't want anyone knowin' where we live.

Vic: Hmm...

Vic eyes both Karl and Ro suspiciously before tearing open his package. His eyes immediately light up like a kid on Christmas.

Vic: By the Bald Head of Sunshine! Love crumb! Is this for House Party this week!?

Ro and Karl exchange glances, neither one knowing what the hell is in the box.

Ro: Ummm.. sure, you bet.

Vic: Damn Gangsta Muffin! Shit is KINKY. I'm going to try it on!

Vic leaps into the house. Stops.

Vic: Wait. Almost forgot.

Vic storms back onto the porch and cold clocks Karl the Mailman with a right cross. Karl falls like a bag of hammers into a bed of flowers.

Vic: Fuckin' spook. Talk to my wife again and I'll drop kick you so hard they'll stop ya in Phoenix for speeding.

Vic goes back into the house without saying another word. Karl looks up at Ro from the bed of flowers as she kneels down next to him.

Ro: My advice: Get a new route. Or get a new job. If Vic sees ya again, you'll be gettin' a new jaw.

Ro grabs a handful of dirt and shoves it in the Mailman's face before the scene fades to black.



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 02:20AM by neutronknows http://ift.tt/1PFCajs wrestlingisreddit

The good, the bad, and the Bagel. smallbusiness

So, I posted here about 6 months ago, after I bought my first business ( the Daily Bagel Reno). I wanted to give an accounting of all I've learned and accomplished since the takeover in June of last year.

First, let's start with the Bad. Our place is small, 700sqft, 200 of it for the kitchen.  We had lots of issues to slog through as first time business owners, and a huge learning curve ahead of us. We had a terrible falling out with previous owner after just a week. She was very off put by any changes we made, and it caused conflict. So after a week, we were on our own. Here's a brief description of the problems we faced. Failing or under capacity equipment, non efficient layout, a kitchen not ready to pass health inspection, under utilization of space, non existent inventory, long customer wait times.

 Customers were waiting 10-15 min for small orders and 25-40 min for big orders. We frequently sold out of bagels. People would come in at 8am and see maybe 4 or 5 types of bagel ( we have 15 flavors). The old owner was rude and unfriendly,  and frequently upset customer.  The previous owner told us keeping a small inventory was smart (which, it is) but her idea of small was literally barley enough food to get through 1 normal business day. There were 2 ovens, which at capacity could bake 3 dozen bagels per hour. A toaster which took 4 min to toast a bagel, and was large and clunky. A traditional cash register, along with hand written tickets. A menu board 48"x24" that contained an entire lunch and breakfast menu. A back storage closet loaded floor to ceiling with nothing but crap. They day our security cameras went on, we caught one of the employees stealing. Our first month was rough. We had 2 1 star Yelp reviews. We had the health department tell us her kitchen would not pass, and we had to get new refrigerators. Then we had employee issues. We had 1 steal, I was super lazy, and one didn't like us. So basically we fired all 3. But we hired people that turned out just as bad. Eventually my wife and got the hang of things, and have needed to rely on employees less and less. My wife and are working 6 days a week, 10hrs+ a day. ( we were open 7 days a week in September, and i ended up working 28 days in a row). The previous was closed on Sundays, open Mon-sat, 630-2pm.

Ok,  let's look at the POSITIVES! after all that it might seem as if there are none. But there are! We fixed all the issues. We invested $10,000 in new equipment. We now have 2 ovens, capable of 15 dozen Bagels per hour. We purchased a fridge designed for small spaces, and increased from 5 cbft, to 12 cbft, in the same area. I received my food management certification. We spent 8 hours deep cleaning the kitchen, and passed our Health inspection with a 100. We bought a toaster that takes just 45 seconds to toast a bagel. We invested in a POS system, that has a printer in the kitchen. A new menu board that's 80"x30" and allows customers in line to read it and decide on what they'd like before reaching the register. We reorganized the kitchen for greater efficiency. We invested in a real inventory, that lasts 7 days, while maintaining freshness. By creating a real inventory, we were able reduce our food costs by 15% annually, and reduced our food cost from 35% down to 26%. It has also saved us time, I now shop 1 time a week, for 2 hours, rather than 6 days at 1 hr each. Sales are thru the roof, the previous fiscal year was 180k Gross, but in our first 6 months, we've done 108k, and are expecting to do 225k by out fiscal year end. Customer wait times are down to 3-6min, 8-12 when it's super busy. Since our 2 1 star Yelp reviews, we have had 45 5 star, 18 4 star, 1 3 star and 2 2star. We received very positive reviews in Both the Reno News and review and the Reno Gazette Journal since October. We have also branched out, and now have 4 wholesale clients: 3 coffee shops and the County Hospital  ( we out competed another bagel shop for 2 of those accounts), currently those wholesale accounts will gross around 8k. We opened Sundays, and closed mondays. That has paid off big time, as Sunday is now our 2nd busiest day, and Monday was always our slowest.

Things are looking bright, we now are past most of the initial learning curve, we have all our major problems fixed, and now spend our time figuring out how to grow and improve, rather than putting out fires and stressing!

Here are 2 links so you can look at pics and see some of the shop:

 http://ift.tt/1SOvF4u

 http://ift.tt/1PFmHzO



Submitted January 30, 2016 at 12:39AM by truckeeriverfisher http://ift.tt/20ydW2p smallbusiness

Is this my refrigerator making this noise, or do I have vermin behind it? appliancerepair

Just wanted to see if this is something to be concerned about. The fridge is a Liebherr, I forgot the model name but it's the 24-inch wide model. If the fridge is making that sound, is it something to be concerned about, or is it normal?



Submitted January 29, 2016 at 11:50PM by ohsheeshyall http://ift.tt/1nthkNJ appliancerepair

Norman's mug. lifeofnorman

Norman sat quietly at his desk, filling out his paperwork, when he noticed that the time read 12:01, Norman’s designated lunch time. Norman put the finishing touches on his work and went to the breakroom.

Upon entering he went to the shared cabinet to find his favorite plain gray mug that he left as his own personal mug.

Much to Norman’s shock, he found that his mug was not in the area he normally left it. After Norman closed the cabinet, Norman’s supervisor, Bruce, entered the room, holding Norman’s mug in his hand.

“How’s it hangin’, Norm?” Bruce asked.

Norman got flustered. He wanted to tell Bruce that he was using his mug, but also wanted to be polite and answer Bruce

“Pretty okay!” Norman said, thrown off.

Bruce nodded and grabbed his burrito from the refrigerator, and left the room. Norman grabbed his bologna sandwich and started eating it, it was rather dry.



Submitted January 29, 2016 at 10:39PM by Bloodsail_Admiral http://ift.tt/1OUKQ8e lifeofnorman

Norman and the Space Shuttle Atlantis lifeofnorman

When Norman was a boy, he sat with his mom and dad at the lemon-yellow kitchen table, heads crowded together towards the RCA portable TV. When the flickering static became too much to bear, Norman closed his eyes and listened. A moth flapped on the whirring stove light, branches tapped on the window, his mother sniffed from her cold, and Neil Armstrong’s tinny voice changed the course of history.

After NASA announced the last mission of the space shuttle program, Norman knew he had to go. He had always told himself he would go to one of these launches, and it was now or never. In a small way, he blamed himself for The Challenger, as if his eyes on that Florida sky would have made all the difference.

During that year he had used his credit card more often than he liked, but it helped him accumulate 5,000 extra air miles. He bought a used camera online, and new clothes for the presumably sticky Florida weather.

On a Thursday, right in the middle of a CSI episode, his son called him. He was excited because he was offered an internship in the UK, and could he have dad's air miles? It was an expensive ticket.

Of course, Norman said, delighted. It wasn't every day an opportunity like this came along. Norman put his pre-bought ticket into the photo album, and on July 8th he turned on the TV, closed his eyes, and listened. His coke fizzled against the glass, the refrigerator hummed, and the recorded roar of the Atlantis launched without him.



Submitted January 29, 2016 at 10:56PM by mookie8 http://ift.tt/1Pnnv0E lifeofnorman

Thursday, January 28, 2016

[M4F] “Shouldn’t you be leaving to pick up the foreign exchange student?” dirtypenpals

“Come on honey, just a quickie?” You whispered into his ear, pushing your perky breasts up against his long-sleeved business shirt. Your fingers snaked up his torso’s front, trailing from his waist to the buttons which you were beginning to undo. “He’s been on a 12 hour flight, he can wait another half hour for me to arrive.”

Your husband took hold of your wrists momentarily. In that second, you thought that perhaps you’d get laid for the first time in god knows how long, only for him to push your hands away. “Babe I’d love to, but today’s staff meeting was just absolutely stressful and I really just want to relax for a couple hours. Maybe before we go to bed? And besides, we shouldn’t be keeping him waiting.”

You sighed, then snapped, “Fine. Before bed tonight. I’ll be back in an hour and a half, see you then.” Fetching your keys from the familiar ceramic bowl, you slammed the front door on your way out, but you knew he wouldn’t notice with his head burrowed inside the refrigerator holding all his beer bottles.

How did it go so wrong? You wondered, suddenly exhausted, your eyes almost on the verge of tears as you flipped on the headlights. We promised each other we wouldn’t be ‘that married couple’, and yet… here we are. Everyone always said the flame of carnal desire burned out eventually in a marriage, but for it to happen at 32? We should’ve been devouring each other until 35, at the very least, ideally until our forties.

Miraculously you didn’t crash your vehicle on the drive there. Idly, you picked up the poster roll with the name ‘Christian Koeller’ painted over it and rested it on your shoulder, dragging your feet toward waiting section for the incoming arrivals. This foreign exchange student was your husband’s idea. Because of his work at a prestigious university and his desire to achieve a permanent spot in its staff, he figured that if he participated in this housing program, which the dean heavily approved of, it would increase his chances of locking down a professor job for the next decade. So over the past half year he eventually broke down your resistance, culminating in this very moment.

There was a tap on your shoulder followed by a German accent. “Mrs. Esmerelda?” You turned around, almost dropping your jaw at the young man standing before you.

Tall, clearly athletic, lean, wavy dirty blonde hair, a dazzling smile, blue eyes, a defined jaw, just the perfect amount of stubble. Like someone took a Prince Charming out of the fairy tales, roughed him up a little bit and dropped him right on the linoleum right in front of you. “Uh yeah, that’s me.” You stammered, examining me from head to toe before staring at the sign in your trembling hands. “And you must be uh Christian Koeller?”

“Yes, that’s right. I heard I’d be living with a married couple, with no kids, but I didn’t imagine you to be so young. And still so pretty.” I smiled, scratching my hair slightly. “Is your husband with you?”

“Oh.” You frowned, realizing he was probably passed out in front of the television this very moment. “No, he’s had a long day, but my car’s outside, so let’s take you back to my home, okay?”

The two of us chatted on the drive home, about each other’s backgrounds, your marriage, my education until we arrived at your doorstep. You showed me the guest bedroom, leaving me to get settled as you retreated to your own bedroom, already knowing you were going to be disappointed. And sure enough you were, your husband being fast asleep. But then again, you would’ve been foolish to actually expect otherwise.

An aggravating two weeks followed, predictably sexless, but you hadn’t predicted the immense sexual tension. Perhaps you were imagining it. But you didn’t dare confide in your husband, or did you not want to? After all, you couldn’t remember the last time since a handsome young 20-something glanced at your curves so appreciatively? Once, while you were changing I passed by your door and you panicked, shutting it immediately upon noticing my presence. But something warm, lustful flickered inside of you, and the next time you were changing, your door was flung wide open. This time, when I passed by, you didn’t hide or shrink away, but continued boldly. However you didn’t throw a lustful stare in return. After all, you were faithful to your husband no? But the attention was enjoyable nevertheless.

You spent more time on your appearance, buying new lingerie, skimpier outfits that revealed more skin. After all, the west coast was warm even in the fall. “You’re looking great today, when’d you go shopping?” I complimented one afternoon after returning from class. “Gosh, you look better than most of my classmates.” You blushed at that, brushing your hair back, biting your lip. But the temptation was rising. As I was growing more comfortable living in your house, I’d walk out of the bathroom in only my boxers after my showers. The outline of my cock through my undergarments, without a doubt larger than your husbands almost made your mouth water. You’d sneak glances whenever possible, barely avoiding detection, imaging how it felt to hold it in your-

Wait a second. I can’t be thinking like that. You panicked, shutting those thoughts off. And yet…

And then the final straw was a girl’s pleasured moans emanating through the wall separating our bedrooms. Most likely I’d brought back another student in the dead of the night. Your husband, who wore earplugs regularly to bed, couldn’t hear the sound but your loins moistened at the gasps and squeaking mattress. Within moments, your fingers had crept down to that region, teasing you further until reason and logic fell apart to a sexual hunger.

You needed a cock. And at this point, you weren’t even sure it had to be your husband’s anymore.


My seventh prompt. Kinks and DPP Profile.



Submitted January 29, 2016 at 12:26PM by Ernest_Gangbangway http://ift.tt/1nrGfRy dirtypenpals